my reflection is distorted,
i cannot see who i truly am.
the person looking back at me
is someone i don't recognize.

where did it all go wrong?
where's that little girl who wanted to be older?
where's the daughter that never did anything wrong?

i should've saved her innocence
before it was too late.

when I walked into the room and saw you
my body did not react like it had
the first time

I waited for my heart to abandon me
for my legs to freeze up
to fall to the ground
crying at your feet

nothing happened
there's no connection
or movement inside when we locked eyes

you looked like a regular girl
with your regular clothes
and regular face
nothing profound about you

I don't give myself enough credit
my body must've cleansed itself of you
a long time ago
must've gotten tired of you
behaving like I was nothing
and rung the insecurities out
while I was busy wallowing in pity

even though we were under the same roof
I was still solar systems away from you

all of me
was never meant
to be touched by you

take my name
out of your mouth

i wonder why i wasn't
beautiful enough for you
or if i'm beautiful at all.

i changed what i was wearing
five times before i saw you,
wondering which pair of jeans
will make my body more tempting
to undress.

tell me:
was there anything
i could've done
to make you think

her
she is so strikingly beautiful

the only thing you were good at
was making me feel useless.