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I said, "God, I hurt."
And God said, I know."

I said, "God, I cry a lot."
And God said, "That is why I gave you tears."

I said, "God, I am so depressed."
And God said, "That is why I gave you Sunshine."

I said, "God, life is so hard."
And God said, "That is why I gave you loved ones."

I said, "God, my loved one died."
And God said, "So did mine."

I said, "God, it is such a loss."
And God said, I saw mine nailed to a cross."

I said, "God, but your loved one lives."
And God said, "So does yours."

I said, "God, where are they now?"
And God said, "Mine is on My right and yours is in the Light."

I said, "God, it hurts."
And God said, I know."

~ Posted on the wall at the Oklahoma City bombing site.
April 19, 1995 "May they be with god"
do you think you have it?
cause I want to hide from you
living in defense
don't try to steal from me

the panic in your voice says
you think you lost it
never mind that
It was never yours to begin with

come into my space
show me what you've done
maybe it's too far gone
I think I feel undone

with the breeze, it crosses by
touched my skin
and touched my thigh
pierced my soul
you caught my eye

sharper grip against the grain
don't live in this vein
never mind the fear
you'll find it all in here
Oh no oh no
Death is near
All the good things are gone
And the bad things are here
I catch myself holding my breath
Like I'm subconsciously
Giving up
I make myself breath again
Heartbeat slows back to normal
Just to ease the burning in my lungs
And the ache in my mind
A small shard of doubt
Nestles in between
A crack
Growing in my mind

When I don't think about it
When I'm occupied with other things
I find myself growing dizzy
And force a breath
Through my clenched teath
Wasn't sure where this one was going
Are you the right key to the hole in the stitch of my sock monkey heart?
Depression is like quick sand
You don't know you've walked right into it
Until you start sinking
And you can't get out

— The End —