I’m in love with someone who loves me back. I see right into them, and that is how I know we have the same heart. A heart that is struggling to beat, because the pain is always constant, but the fear is even stronger. I know how they feel and how they love, but I also know that as much as we love one another, our combined fear will always hold us back from being one. Our fear is stronger than our love. ab

One year ago today, I was in a much darker place. I didn’t know happiness and I didn’t care to. I was content with being miserable. Today, although I may not stand any taller, I stand. I find the light in the darkest of places and have learned to adapt to the darkness that is around every corner. I know glimpses of happiness and I miss when it’s not in my palms. I am content with nothing but my dreams today. One year ago today, I didn’t see a tomorrow, but today I see everything. (a.b)

i threw away his toothbrush today.

a ratty, mangled tooth brush and
two years of lost socks scattered throughout my house,
is what i am left with.

i go to bed alone.
i wake up alone.
i brush my teeth,
and there lies the toothbrush.
i can't get myself to toss it to the curb,
much like you did me.
i feel that the moment i do that
all hope is gone
and you'll never come back.
chances are,
you aren't coming back,
but i know the day i toss it is the day i not only lose you,
but i lose myself too.

your sock habits always made me giggle.
from holy socks to your moms floral, fuzzy socks,
you always left them everywhere.
we could be mid supper
and you would bend down to take them off.
i used to find it annoying,
constantly picking up smelly socks
in the weirdest of places,
but now when i find those socks
that i hadn't found before,
it brings me happiness.

i don't know if i will ever be able
to get rid of your toothbrush
or if i will ever find the last of your socks,
but i hope that i don't
because the day that happens
is the day i'm forced to say goodbye.

I've woken up every morning
with bruised knees, swollen lips, and a picture of you burned into my skull. But never a memory explaining. I guess it's irony, because you left me, on the floor with bruised knees, swollen lips, and an unforgettable scene, without explaining.

(a.b)