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Ninny's Narnia Feb 2016
I bought a necklace today. I happened upon it at an old coffee shop I used to waste my time in way before I wasted my time on you. It was an impulse purchase and I didn't even see what the necklace really was until I was latching it around me. This necklace was for me and yet I knew how much you would love the twisting octopus tentacle dangling from the chain; I didn't care though. I'd like to say that was the last time I ever thought about you, but that's a lie. That was however, the first moment that I didn't miss you, the first moment I was glad I wasn't sharing with you. I was relieved that you wouldn't be able to enjoy this necklace and that I had bought it just for myself. This was the moment I knew I would be happier without you.
Ninny's Narnia Sep 2015
"I gave you my heart
But the very next day
you gave it away"

How cliche.

You took my heart and spread it 'round
Graffitied rocks with smeared red blood
Making mosaics for your lovers to see
Singing loud carols with the joy I gave
Strumming on my heart stings,
the melodies ode to others

Rip my soul
Let the crimson stain the snow
Taint the purity with my ignorance
Make the ground reflect the lit up houses
Leave me in the cold
Make a snowman out of my corpse
Dress me up with a carrot for a nose
And coals that now resemble the cavity in my chest.
Ninny's Narnia Sep 2015
"Just run.
You don't belong here.
Get LOST!"

But I already feel lost
Lost among the familiar
I'm the outlier
In a place that's supposedly "home"

What is home?
Where do I go?
Am I supposed to feel so alone?
So wrong?

Just let me run.
Run to a new place
Somewhere I don't recognize
A place I don't know how to get back from

Just set me free.
Ninny's Narnia Sep 2015
Carve it into my forearm as if my arm is a piece of clay easily molded. Brand myself with the word that holds all of my insecurities. Let my skin burn and cry as my soul has for falling shy.
Will I ever be...?
Have I ever been...?
Am I good...?
I want to be...
ENOUGH
Ninny's Narnia Jun 2015
"Remember when..."
My heart sinks as he reminisces with his Lovely Past. I watch as he laughs and looks upon her with soft missing eyes. Twirling and giggling as he drunkenly dances with his Lovely Past. Skin brushes aimlessly as the cheeks blush. I watch as I envy this "hindsight beauty".
Gaze upon ME!
YOUR Shining Future!
More laughing and caressing, reminiscing and drinking; the brightness shifts.
Where have I gone, the once Shining Future?
I've been renamed;  the cards have been re dealt.

I am the Plain Old Past, looking upon his Glorious Present.
Ninny's Narnia Jun 2015
Watching as everything seems to slow down
My smile is printed upon my forced face
The loud roars and conversations turn into a babble
Sitting in the corner, rubbing my thumb over my beer
Am I  naturally in this excluded bubble,
Or did I place myself here?
Ninny's Narnia May 2015
Pick up the receiver, but there's no dial tone.
Scream into the speaker; prayers spitting from your lips that someone will hear you.
Scavenge for a piece of string and two hollow cans.
Test it out with your mouth forced into one and your ear desperately pressed to the other.
. . . _ _ _ . . .
Learn every language, study forms of communication, cry and yell until you can't breathe.
Are you mute?
Why can't the people around you hear your pleas?
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