As I lay in a cookie tray trying to fill the grooves, I pinch and plump myself to fit your perfect mold.

I've drowned myself with food dye to change my insides blue, but no matter how stained my lips are, my souls will always shine red.

Throw some sprinkles on me with decorated frosting, maybe a candle or two. Try to cover the vanilla center to look like confetti cake.

Put me on a pedestal right next to her
I'll stretch on my tip-toes to look her in the eyes-
The eyes of my competitor. The standard.
Attempt to deceive me, tell me I'm wearing gold, but the silver feels cold in my hands.

Pretty porcelain princess. You mustn't furrow your brow; you must remain perfect or else no one will want you. Your smile must be straight and white, no frown in sight. Oh, pretty porcelain princess, sit on the shelf and appear to be happy.

Sorry, little girl, you better dry your tear filled eyes. Your chin better lift itself and your lip can never quiver. Sorry, little girl, there are more important feelings; more fragile people that need to be cared for. All the other hands are already being held. Sorry, little girl, but no one is there for you.

And that's when I jumped. There was no one to catch me, no push, the ground was stable, and the air was calm. My eyes were closed and my lips were slightly parted taking slow deep breaths.

So many times had I walked to this same spot, my heart racing and my palms clammy. I had begged for there to be a shove or an unknown force throw me over because I wasn't capable of doing so myself. Other times I wanted nothing more than to fall, but be saved or begged to not go. Maybe, the ground would crumble beneath me and the wind would drag me down. No, I was never that fortunate.

But today was different. I was ready. After letting the world echo inside my vacant being, I opened my eyes allowing myself to comply. I took the leap.