you’ll find me
on the streets
offering love to strangers
reaching out with my arms
with sweet words
bubbling out of my lips
but when you hug me
in relief
at having found me
I will recoil
scream
look at you
with wild eyes
and fear
wondering
who you are
my love
because
like a beast
I am afraid of fire
and I will try to hide it
behind my own flame
which offers no warmth
to anyone
and
you will wonder
where I have gone
and eventually you will
realize that I haven’t
gone anywhere
and you will
leave me there
to fend off the cold
in my own ways
and take your love
to someone not so
much a cowering
beast

And it was as if the sun was enjoying the cruelty he bestowed on me.
Denying the warmth he could give with just a single a touch.
And it was as if the moon was trying to tend to my need.
Reflecting the sun's love with a straight face
but
it wasn't the same.

Hot, hot shower, in a dark steamy room
Not gonna lie baby, I wish you'd been there too

i don't want to smell alcohol
on your breath when you kiss me,
i want to taste the hours that you waited
and to feel how much you missed me.

i don't want to breathe in smoke
when i bury my face into your chest,
i want to hear your barely-beating heart
and feel it pulsate in the warmth of your flesh.

i don't want to see the moon & stars
swirl like diamonds against the onyx sky,
unless i can do so in the comfort of your arms
and have your fingers interwoven with mine.

i don't even want my morning coffee
unless you're the one that brings it to me,
having learned to make it just the way i like it
and committed my preferences to your memory.

i don't want sunrises or sunsets
if i can't watch them dance upon your skin,
or love you between dove-white sheets
on saturday mornings at half-past ten.

i don't want to see the day i become old & grey
an early grave i would sooner invite,
than to live to greet old age without you
by my side to guide me into eternal night.

- m.f.

I saw you today.

As you sat with half
of your face facing
away from me,
I prayed you would look at me.

You didn't then,
but you met me at the staircase,
laughed,
and disappeared from the landing.

I saw you today.

And I don't remember
much of anything else.

when i was little
my mom told me
monsters hid under my bed
little did i know
the real monsters
were us humans

when i was little
my teachers told me
i could be anything
i wanted to be
little did i know
that society would
judge me for doing so

when i was little
my friends told me
that we will always be
best friends forever
little did i know
that they'd betray me
and leave me alone

when i was little
i told myself
i am going to grow up
to be a princess
little did i know
that i'd grew up to be
a sad teenager
who wants to be dead

I'm dreaming
of cigarettes and Polaroid pictures
Late Autumn nights with light through the trees
and a calm breeze
A daydream it is
but I'm begging please
Bring truth to my dreams