I will always wonder if you remember
that bleak night in December
you took my soul into a dimension
so far away from this awful attention
I couldn't even fathom your beauty
for you are a midnight goddess
and I'm just a noble artist
I took my lips and gently placed them on your forehead
then your petite little nose
and then finally leaning in for a kiss
you don't even resist
that moment was like ember
because of that moment I will always remember
that cold bleak night in December

my life is slowing slipping out of my grip and is dripping from my hands, splattering like when a paint ball hits the target with each horrifying drop
and I can't
do anything
about
it

Why is there such thing as pressure? Social pressure, air pressure, blood pressure, peer pressure, sinus pressure, life pressure
We are pressured by every element ever created yet I am not a diamond
I am not a sparkling gem
I am not perfect
But I am something
I am a soul in a body that isn't truly mine and a pine tree in the middle of a cornfiepld and a bird who has to be fed by it's mother because it doesn't know how to live on it's own;
I am the waves that crash into the shoreline and I am the duckling who is always left behind and I am the broken voice who never yelled hallelujah because I didn't believe I could; I am a guitar that is improperly tuned and a book whose spine is destroyed and I am the child who yelled for her father that never came;
I am a unfinished painting and a crooked portrait and the broken record player that repeats the same groove over and over and over;
Yet I am not perfect, because if I was I would be able to answer your question but I can't and if I could, I know wouldn't be able to stand here and tell you who I truly am

I need you and I want you but you won't be here
I will stand here and fight for you but you'll never do the same and you say you care but you don't I wish you would but wishing is like watering a rock and waiting for it to bloom
You took my heart and slammed it into the ground
You took my demons and trained them to tell me that you weren't there
You destroyed my life making it into ruins with your name carved along the walls You slowly but surely took over each and every thought of mine and turned it against me
You hate me and I love you and this world will never let me understand why
you made me feel incapable
but I am capable
I may be young but my mind works faster than thought or time itself
I learned how to live on my own without being manipulated by your evil words that coursed through my veins
I stopped wishing for you to care because
I may not be able to make a rock bloom into a beautiful flower but I took it and made it into a luminescent rock garden
I picked up my heart and put it back together; piece by piece
I overcame my demons and painted over those ruins and made a masterpiece
I overpowered your ubsurd ways and took over my mind and made myself into something better
you might have made me feel incapable
but I am capable