Dozens of dreams
  rough dreams
   fun dreams
    beautiful dreams

They are all
  ******* in my sheets
   but you're never there,
    never there.

N
    e
      v
        e
          r

        h
          e
    ­        r
              e
  to rescue me,
   to save me.
    Why are you never here?
  (someone else always is)

A sudden evening rain over the rice fields,
      memories wake up from deep sleep
of long years, take a walk once again
  along the narrow ridge parting green fields
on a rain soaked evening of yore.
She, a jaunty young woman had changed
      the quiet world of a village boy
with big curious eyes, just in few minutes.

his innocence, vanished a yearning
   for something unknown until then,
           started its torment
      love, dabbed its fragrance
on his being with its slight of hand,
a spell cast over him made his head spin
like he drank heady wine, how strange!

Under her spread umbrella he came
by chance, only once in his life
walked with her till the door
on his way to the temple of Krishna
     for the evening worship,
walking along the zig zag, slippery path
had he slipped a bath in slush was assured.

When the rains came unannounced,
rushing ,with her anklets clanging
frogs spiritedly croaking,  
all this mingling with
the  orchestra of myriad insects,
she came as if from nowhere,
from a wild growth of banana plants
on one side, down to his path.
She smiled at him as if she knew him well
a lush young woman, who took him by his hand,
brought him closer to the protective
wrap of her sari, that smelled lemons and oranges,
that fragrance remains sweet in memory,
was it jasmine scent from her long black tresses,
that made him feel that the world has  suddenly
become, a place, full of luminance,
has he quickly grown up to her age?

She didn't ask him questions,
called his pet name surprising him
about that knowledge of her;
that made him think that
she was someone so close once,
but forgot as he grew up.

Reaching in front of the temple,
she gave just a wistful look,
and vanished from his life for ever.
Not even aware that she just gave,
the best fragrant moments
for a boy on the first step to adulthood,
he stood looking her go on her way.
When he look back and remember,
this delusion, he realizes,  stays with him:
"I am under your umbrella  ever since"

I've spun my memories into a cage and,

I am sorry, I am not a good person
And I could never make myself care.

Now I am trapped in nostalgia
Looking out through these brittle bars,

I remember the day we met
And we never talked again that year,
You spent all that time wishing I would see you

But it’s hard to see with these tears
Forming glass on my eyes.

And one day I tripped
Right into your arms, I brought you happiness.

In a way it burns my sight
Since the rooms are too dark
For my eyes to see

You were more beautiful then I knew,
And I left.

Outside my head,
The world became fearful
Or I became afraid

Wilfully walking out,
On friendship, love,

And now I wish I had been strong enough,

*I was frightened to never be alone.

The Places I’ve been
I’ve been in rain, I’ve stood
In puddles and I have watched
As the pools of water climb up my pant leg
I’ve traveled to different continents
I’ve hiked up the mountains that separate them
And I thought I had seen most of everything
The dips of this world and its highest peaks
And after all of this seeing
After all of these places of being
The place I remember seeing the best
Was a place I wouldn’t have guessed
Some rink-**** of a church out west
And even now I cannot tell you what
Art looks like inside the Louvre
But every detail of those nuns I can tell you know
The sound of their forks hitting metal plates
The sound of those same forks when
They were pulled between teeth
Their black coats fraying against the ground
Their protruding knees as they bend down
When they were praying the tiny mumbles
From a distance sounded like sweet-nothings
And I thought that this was their version
Of making love to the Lord.

He left on Sunday and left her there
she trusted him and felt deep sorrow
As he told her "I will see you tomorrow"
For the long day, his lips felt open,
so he kissed a girl, and received no token.
She was so ***** and so poor,
his lips almost should feel swore.
On Monday she soon found out,
and her heart filled with despair.
She had 3 kids, but at the time,
she could hardly care.
Her world has end, her heart was broken,
all because her man had finally spoken.
He knew what he wanted, and it wasn't her,
she finally knew, that he's been cheating,
she has believed the lies that he has been feeding.
She was confused and felt very used.
Her kids were upset, and she was heavily crying,
her kids refused to leave and she wanted to keep trying,
she tried to forget it, she really did,
but its hard to forget something that was already done.
She had one son, that looked up to his father,
had one daughter who loved him like he was the only man in the world,
Its too late now for the mother, the feelings were cold,
for all this one kiss, and for all the times they shared,
there was no way, now how, that she could ever once more care.

just decades ago, in far off world
in big white house, sat a little girl.
she lay in the corner of her room without a care
because this little girl had dreams to spare.
she laid on her bed, with her nose in a book
she had thousands of adventures in that little nook.
until one day, an arrow shot her right off of her cloud
she had to learn to grow up, and fit in with the crowd.
she traded her books for lipstick and blush.
she took out her ponytail and got a new brush.
she had to learn to be pretty, it's not about brains.
if you want to be heard, you'd better be vain.
if you don't look perfect, than no one cares about you,
if you're not pretty, then you won't make it through.
so take off your glasses, and drop all of your classes;
men don't care about brains, they care about *****.
you're meant to be a housewife, what else is there to do?
get with the program, why mess with their view?

but the girl wasn't done, she wasn't going without fight
though the world had hit her, she still had some bite.
why can't you both pretty and smart,
still be kind, and speak from the heart?
but the world said "no!"; and it's hard to rebel
when the world is trying to silence all of your yells.
but she kept on marching, she was determined to win
with a smirk on her face, she was ready for it begin.
armed with a dress and a large stack of books
she spread the word that it wasn't all about looks.

the world called her bitter and ****** and mean
apparently "feminist" is the worst thing you can be.
she stood up to them, and challenged their norms.
she told all the girls, they didn't have to conform.
she told them they could be what ever they wanted
but she knew that the girls would still be haunted
by the judgmental world she knew too well
could they make a change? only time would tell

though she tried her hardest to win the battle
there are still times when women are treated like cattle.
and we're still not equal, not in work, not in pay
i just keep praying that it'll get better someday.
but praying won't help, if we don't do our part
we've got to keep fighting, we've got be smart.
we can't let these men keep making the laws
we've got to start a revolution, and be true to the cause.

but still it's so hard, and i'm just so tired
when will women start to be admired?
and i am too young to feel this ******
but women's rights have been put on a waiting list.
there's so many things that i'm fighting to change
but the harder i fight, the more people find me strange.
but why is it strange to want equal rights?
i want to save myself, i don't need a white knight.

there's so much to do, we've got so far to go
and there's so many things that i just don't know.
but listen, little girl, don't you fret
because i promise you, our story isn't over yet.