I tried to fly today
the sound of his voice, it made me think...
maybe this time, I'd grow wings.
metaphorically of course.
Well it didn't work
I'm not a bird
or even Superman, for Christ's sake.
Why did you tell me that one day I would
fly away, that I would be great,
when you knew it wasn't true.
I mean, look at you...
I bet you never even tried (to fly)
and why would you?
You are so comfortable here
complacent, sitting on the ground.
Walking and running is as fast as you'll ever go.
And all I want is to be untethered and free
as a bird.

he felt sad today so i asked what i could do
he said just love me even if i'm ugly, sick and blue
and i said oh my darling
don't you know
all my poetry and hums are about you

and maybe one day we'll learn to be ok again
maybe one day we'll learn to live for love
we'll soar above our sadness
and remember that we are above
all of it

There's a bump on my ear
     maybe this isn't going so well
it's where i pierced the skin
it's where i showed them i was gone
i was different
there's a bump on my ear and i'm not supposed to touch it
    i'll infect it
i'm not supposed to touch it but
i rub it and mangle it and
     maybe this isn't going so well
they keep asking what's wrong with it
"i guess you shouldn't have gotten it in the first place"
but it was supposed to be a blessing
it was supposed to be different
it was supposed to be my independence
   i was supposed to be independent a long time ago

i remember feeling like i couldn't breathe
i remember not breathing
images with such clarity
every time. it's identical
a systematic breakdown of
your being...
did you know that time doesn't just stop for those moments?
the ones that make you think
you could die right now and be blissfully happy?
time stops for the moment when you wish
you were dead instead of the person they just put in the ground.