there she stood
poised like an animated fairy-tale
the bow of her lips quickened to quiver
failure; a call to reality
porcelain doll cheeks stroked with shades of red and tears
the very same as at the end of her brush,
she canted poisonous words like a dark chant
gross words, from such beautiful eyes
like knives at the canvas before where she stood

stains marred the ball shoes on the in-proportionate figure
an extravagant gown of scarlet torn to one side
revealing paint smears and mismatched feet
before the beauty she cried
bowed to knees at the sight
her elegant dress muddied , her perfect shoes stained,
her body all twisted

for how could she know?
It was a sin for her to cry
it was a shame for her knees to reach the ground
she bawled and pleaded- like a newborn hearing the tragedies of the world
the painters overalls slipping from her shoulders
brushes clattering to the ground
another masterpiece failed
another painting she would not sell
for how could she see?
she is a masterpiece herself
perfection finally reached
she cannot see, that she
is a masterpiece- at least to me.

i see them, your little fingerprints
like footsteps in the snow
   wherever i look, wherever i go,
         there they are, your constant reminders
of a world i no longer know
         whether i'm thinking of my favourite book
looking at my keyboard keys
                      leafing through my school pages
  or raiding a shelf of dvd's
                       my midnight snacks of icecream
                         nolonger warm the world
only serving to open the void
                               with rememberances spilt from your quill
             little flickers here and there
the way we sat, our favourite film, you trying to type with me
every break and lunch time together, climbing hills, falling asleep

i breathe you in and suffocate
                  see your finger prints every where
                       reminding me of the desert void under a burning cold sky
                                                             ­   that endlessly rests there.
                                           there,
           hanging in time
frozen between you and me
as i follow your finger print footsteps
                            and make my own with droplets of me
a tidal wave of memories overflowing and blocking my drain
                    each little piece of me staining
                              the finger prints left in our name

Why didn't i see it coming?
                              
                            I should have seen the signs
                                              For all the times he tried
                                                             But in the haze i lost my way
                                                  And must have lost my mind

                    My thoughts were consumed in a fog
                                                  But i only had him in my head
                                                            ­ So focused on making our car        

                                              That I ran a sign Dripping in Red

Today I've had enough,
Today i looked and saw all the cracks and dirt,
All the rust on the mirror,
And the tears I put there to stain it so,
I saw the mottled skin ,
And stressed out eyes,
I thought I was better,
That Light was reaching my dusty corner,
But now I see I was ignoring my fractures,
       each broken bone,
Projected onto your life filled body,
Which I thought gave me wings
Sagging it,
            stretching it.
And I'm so sorry,
For all the **** I've done to our skin,
For all the words I've slashed and singeing paragraphs,
For all my sullied emotions,
And black tidal waves of nauseating Fear and insecurity,
For the smothering affection.
I'm so so sorry.

My mirror never looked darker than now;
But at least yours looks better without me in it.
So, I'm sorry, but I don't want to be your reflection.
Not anymore.

You are mine
As i am Yours*;
This is not a command,
But a promise,
                *but a plea
now, I give you my all
please,
            
              ... do not break me.

I leaped forwards
For your outstretched arm
Towards hope and love and light

Only to fall backwards
Back down the hole
Onto a bed of nails and spikes