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nicoarty Aug 2015
When I wake up in the morning
I have to pinch myself
To remember that fairytales
Hold no wealth
In this real world
For I am a dreamer
Of love, of life
And always do I fear
Drifting away
Going too far

With you I fear everything
Everyone
I'd rather be aware
And able to build my walls
Than absent from reality
Caught up in you
When I find out
You are not so caught up in me

I'd rather hear a siren's wail
A simple 'I'm not so sure'
Before the dam crumbles
And the heart strings snap
- so I can shut the door

But this wave is no tsunami
It's physical pain yes,
but it can't be seen
I've been there often enough
That I already look twice
And try not to dream

As there is no early warning system
That's why I'm afraid
Of you, of open doors
As once I'm down the river
I can do nothing but drown in your force.
nicoarty Aug 2015
Fog
Things I will never see
You let her in
Why not me?
I will try not to be bitter
I won't get jealous I swear
I'm trying to keep it in
It's just a lot to bear
This searing torture
As I feel my mind start
Stabbing words at the strings
Inside my heart

With every second
The questions grow more
My self image has fallen
I am nothing but raw
Pain,
Fear,
Hollow inside,
Something not good enough
Nothing like her
Who sees all that you hide

Why don't you just tell me
What I'm scared I know I'll hear
That I'm just a bodywarmer
Replacing all that you can't get
That if she lived closer
She's be more than your friend.
nicoarty Aug 2015
Each poem is a part of me
So disgusting, I hate it
I detest all my drawings
And loath my creations
My inabilities, my faults, my claims
The burbling guts to my name
All things, every thing
Connected to me
Needs to be chained to a ball
And drowned in the sea
A sea of red maybe
To bury it's name
As I write it on my arm
And cut it out to remove its stain
Remove the parts of me I'm scared of and fear
Remove the parts that I once held dear
Throw em', burn em', it don't matter what I do
For each old scar; I'll find something new.
nicoarty Aug 2015
Breathe
Just *breathe

Ignore it
Focus on it
Let your self go numb
Breathe out the pain
Then laugh with everyone
Don't stop to feel it
Don't even try to think
When it gets so you can't bare it
Just breathe out the pain and sink
Sink into the darkness
And let it all go
Find the place where finally
*Breathing's all you know
nicoarty Aug 2015
A girl with anxiety, paranoia and depression,
She hides it well- your girlfriend.

Her darkest moods
Often related to you

When she wanted to die,
Unknowingly you pulled her through

With each message
more comfortable than the last

Together you know you both
Smile and laugh

Just when all is shining bright
All stars once again lighting the night

YOU call your girl-best-friend your other half
To her, your girlfriend's, face.
She wants to ****.

Flashes of blades, blood, sharp breaths, drowning tears- her darkest fears,
Spiralling and twisting in a night with no end
A girl with anxiety, paranoia, depression and fears
Yet she hides it well- your girlfriend.
Don't even want to talk about it, this is all I can do to keep sane sometimes when these little things that mean nothing at all just tear me apart.
nicoarty Aug 2015
Alice tied string round her fingers,
For each thing, lest she forget,
She'd done all the work,
Come up with the phrases,
And with friends in mind off she set,

Her first two strings were for Alfie,
The hottest boy in the class,
She unraveled each one, read its label,
"Hey Charlie, lose the glasses, then lose yourself"
"Tommy Digs shift, we don't want your fat ***"

Her third string was for the patio group,
So she could sit at the benches every break,
"Eugh, wrieking Robin, you stink worse than the bin, take It with you and get away"

As the day wore on,
More strings were untied,
A trail of fraying strands in her tread,
Each one connected,
To the arms and legs,
Of Tommy, Charlie, and Robin at the other end.

As Alice was a puppet master,
One of many in her school,
With each new string to pull and tug,
Her popularity grew,

Alice tied strings round her fingers,
For each thing, lest she forget,
Each one she pulled on would tighten,
And scar an arm or a leg,

Cause her strings would entwine with others,
And the few most ensnared and caught,
Had no choice but to obey the ropes,
Tied around their Wrists,
their Necks,
and their Hearts.
A strange view on middle school life I guess, just food for thought guys.
nicoarty Aug 2015
I've been distant for so long,
I can't find where to run,
Can't find where to go,
Or a way to get my Hallowed skeleton,
Home.
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