Maybe this isolation isn't what I need, all this silence letting my thoughts run like a faucet
My thoughts always lead me to situations I could never imagine, they completely take control of me as if I was some toy robot and my mind is the control
Perhaps I've just lost my sanity, or maybe my mind just stole it from me like a thief
I can sit here all I want, my body nearly infusing itself into this warm bed of mine, and tell myself things can get better, that maybe I can actually do something with my life but I just have no motivation and sometimes it feels as if perhaps my mind stole that as well
But as if I know at this point, all I can do is just sit here and wait
and that's what I do
I guess all I need is some patience

Sometimes I just feel like everybody hates me, perhaps I'm wrong as others tell me
Maybe in spite of just wanting to make me feel better because they are too nice of people to just throw me away like that, but I just want the truth
Even though the truth is hard it's something I need, just any form of closure even though it seems that the only truth I get is the truth that hurts
I just want to run away sometimes, just escape reality if its through my dreams, through films, just anything to isolate me from everything
I wish I could just die sometimes but I can't because as much as I don't need people, I need this one person
I really wish I could just completely shut off though, just instantly turn my thoughts off, my memories and become someone else for just a moment to relieve me of all this hatred, this stress, everything
Just to escape for one minute
One minute is all I need

I write down my thoughts, I word out my mind like a translator filling in these blank spaces
I can write endlessly, and I write best when my emotions get the best of me
It helps me, like my own personal therapy
However, people keep telling me over that love is the most powerful of emotions
So when people go and look at the words I've written down they can immediately notice a pattern
They notice that a huge portion of my poems all seemingly take me down one road
One road to that one girl
Maybe those people were right

I really do feel like I'm going crazy
I can sit in bed and just be swarmed with thoughts as if they were bees and I were covered in honey
My mind likes to play games, it likes to feed me feelings of paranoia and anxiety
It feeds me thoughts I wish I didn't have, I feel like one day my mind is going to **** me
and I can write poem after poem begging my mind to stop, to just stop thinking for a single moment
But I already know for a fact that it won't do a **** thing
For some odd reason however, this keeps going back to you
I feel like you're the only reason I'm sane anymore
and I feel like if you just got up and threw me away, I feel like you'd be throwing away my sanity as well
Because as much as you don't believe it
I need you

I can tell you a hundred times and you still won't believe me
Thinking you're not good enough, that you're worthless
I don't think you realize how hard I try for you
The one thing I was born without is motivation
But I'm motivated, I put so much effort into this that you can't even fathom
It's nice to think about fantasy, to think of the outlandish
All of the things we could do but I want to make it work
and when you tell me it won't ever work it hurts me
You think that just because it hurts me, that you're a horrible person
It really isn't your fault for my expectations being so high, for me to dream
and you to throw me back into reality
and you leave me hear to ponder, time after time without a word
I wish I could escape sometimes, but if I were given the opportunity I honestly wouldn't despite wanting to
It's as if I need you
Maybe it's my mind working these crazy ways, building up an unrealistic future or perhaps I really do