I feel you metaphysically tonight
in my lost moments.
Can you hold me for protection?
I want to see you in my dreams,
feel you in another realm.
I'm delirious from lack of sleep
and i keep thinking you're next to me.
Upon looking, I realize I'm alone.
But I've heard so many nice songs
that have never been played before.
I want someone to share it with,
the presence of what doesn't exist.

October 23, 2014 11:39on
-newportsmooths h.g.

she's like the sunny days
driving around nowhere in particular
that makes you look out the window
everything looks so much better
when all the colors are brighter
just because she's beside you

and you feel less alone
when she reads your poems
says your soul is beautiful
in all truthfulness

and she restores
the hope you once had
suddenly you feel so alive
and she's the one
that made you matter to yourself

she's the breeze off the lake
when the summer sun blazes
and you thank god
to feel comfort
when the one you should thank
is really her
for putting the sun inside you
or else you might've been gone soon

October 20, 2014 12:28pm
-newportsmooths h.g.

it's hard when the numbness starts to fade out,
and the real world starts to hit me.
dumping ice water of sanity over me;
i'm drowning in fear of fate,
what my future really holds.
i can't force myself to breathe
my chest tightens and i see white
how do people face these things?
what is it like to be sane?
i've never really known
not since what he did to me.
that's why i can't live in sobriety,
because the closer i am to sanity,
i reach the height of my anxiety
and i'm further out of control.
sometimes i don't think i'll make it out,
that i can't force myself to live
because i lose my will a lot.
so i try my best to keep myself insane
because the last thing i want to be -
is saved.

September 19, 2014 9:58pm
- newportsmooths h.g.

while you were sleeping
I smelt winds that brought me back
to summers of my childhood
and I remembered what it felt like
to truly be alone
with a beating heart beside me
nights pushed me on my own
lost and dazed with dreams of sleep
accompanied by only voices within
who can't calm me when the walls bend
surrounded by emptiness
my backwards thoughts make no sense
with so much to say I find no words
I put my hands to the ground to ask the earth
why is this contradictory chaos so consuming?
will I come out on top?
or will it **** me?

October 22, 2014 5:30pm
-newportsmooths h.g.

I'm made of nostalgia;
every part of me feels it.
just a requiem for performance.
sitting on the rooftop in the cold,
playing songs all the same
the time so bittersweet.
misery disspated with your touch
but I haven't felt you since last April.
untangling my thoughts in hopes
I'll find you in the silence or the smoke.
I don't want to wait;
I'd love to run away.
a promise changes everything
new rooftops to sit and watch the sunset,
nights to explore the rooms of our mind
opening old boxes, forgotten memories inside.
sometimes I fear my dreams fool me,
that it's not real love you're feeling.
the fact is you've given me the best nights
and I'm not ready for you to leave again.
please just stay with me this time
love doesn't need you to think.

November 26, 2014 11:26pm
- newportsmooths h.g.