Happy I hang
Onto smiles
Plastered hastily
Stucco of laughter
Cemented persona
To the cracked world,
On the sidewalk I tread
Everyone zips by
And I dread
When the night
And the quiet
Comes around,
A cold blanket
Of solitude,
Wet with my thoughts
Through tears I drown,
Am I real
As this pain
Coursing through
All my being?

APAD15 - 006 © okpoet

Square one
We're back,
Lost track
Full circle,
Like everything
That goes up
Must come down,
This clown
Is going to cry again,
High like a hot air balloon
And just as deflated
The ego that rose
Thorns punctured
Let it all out,
Ground rush
Break in the fall
Cold leaves
And in comes the pain,
I've done it again
Didn't learn now
Nor then,
Committed to the cake...

APAD15 - 005 © okpoet

She carefully steals
The pieces of me
That matter the most,
Soon I won't know
What's become of my soul,
Given what I could
Nothing left for myself,
I'm not getting change back
She takes it to the cleaners
And I'm looking back
Where I tripped
How hard I fell
Without a thought
Not a care,
But that is neither
Here nor there
Cannot cry
Over all that's spilt,
Just need to see if I can
Pick up all the chips again...

APAD15 - 004 © okpoet

Yeah, you laugh now
But what about
When the joke is over?
What will a smile
Cost me?
I have not
A pence to my name
And this game
Is far from over
But I am sidelined
Wanting to play
Another round,
But it’s all spent
The momentum
Has left the court
And this jester
Jests no more
A fool
Without an audience
Claps no more…

APAD15 - 003 © okpoet

It tears at me,
Are you scissors?
Cut cut cutting away
Are you done yet?
Snip snip snip
You've left me in shreds
Rake me into a corner
Let the wind take the rest,
I hurt no longer
Swept aside,
Are you happy?
Doubts that crumbled
With me under
A rug,
Pulled from beneath
I tumble,
Nothing within reach
To stall
My fall,
From your grace…

APAD15 - 002 © okpoet

No, I won't back out now
At the edge of a precipice,
Between a hard place
And a harder rock
Piercing into my gut,
I want to spill
But I can't rewind
This tape
Not now,
Because I know
Deep down inside,
That I would do it
All over again,
And again,
Even if I knew then
What I know now,
For that smile
I'd never hesitate
No matter how much
My mind hates my heart,
I had already jumped from the start
And there is no changing course
I can only brace myself
For that bittersweet pain...

APAD15 - 001 © okpoet

If I were a dog
I'd curl up next to her,
Oh that I wish
She'd stroke my hair
And hold me
Like she needed me,
When the air is cold outside
I seek the warmth
But she's far from me,
More chilled is her touch
No mere freezer burn
And I'm left yearning,
When will I close the gap
The chasm between us?
What wouldn't I do
But I won't
No surrender,
Every sunrise full of hope
And every night
A close I wish would be the last
A glimmer of want
In a word,
And I'll try
Try again...

APAD14 - 010 © okpoet