Take a picture,
My memory of the dual moment won't last forever.
That smile didn't last any longer,
Now that memory gave me a sharp pain.

Silence.
A smile.
A good set of ears.
A good sense of redirection.

You’re worth it to me
You’ve always kept me happy
Sometimes we’re overwhelmed by jealousy
Especially when it eats us up inside
I’m still in love
You’ve got the spark in your eyes
My love hasn’t changed
Wish you can see it the way I do
You’re always worth it to me
You belong with me and no one else
I’m working hard and want to cure your mental health

It's such a cold place, shaking and alone picturing her beautiful face. I won't stop the tears. We almost made it a year. I can't handle this pressure. I decide to walk and lay in the flame. still Ice I can't take it. Whats happening to me. I am buried and can't even see. I begin to fall and won't be caught. Now I lie so I won't get caught. I'm ignored as if I was a bird flopping in pain. Above or maybe below still it's not the same. All I can wish for is a second chance. Please I'm suffering and I hate taking a glance. then you walk by me like i don't exist, you're the only one I miss. I think about you all the time. Like how the people i don't like begin to talk to you and you smile. Then I begin to think has this been going on for a while. Oh well I guess **** don't matter. I already did shatter. Like a mirror all the broken ones still don't forget. They all can see it reflect. Maybe I should drown myself like the tears did. I won't but I still think of it that way so I just learn to forget because it's something I forbid. I'm cold now, let's try to not make it that way forever. Imissyoubabe, Iloveyoubabe, so much and I plan it to be more then alottle.

You make it hard to speak.
Stuttering so bad it was hard to breathe.
You've got no idea how much you mean to me.
I adore you and you know you've got beauty.
I can officially say we made it.
I'm in love with you
Can't wait to see it through
You're beauty
You're success
My love
My only
Babe you've got beauty

The love
the joy
the kiss
the neck
the pleasure.
the desire

Cheers to being lonely
A **** because its my "only"
What's it like failing miserably?
Here pull up a seat let me tell you a story
I know all about miserable
I use to think I ruled the world
Had a perfect girl
Had a decent life
But nope karma is committed to me
I've got nothing but the past
Soon I'm a be pass tense
No one can stop me
Cheers to Jack easing the pain
Not by much but I'm a little sane
Cheers
Okay grab me some beers
I'm no where near done
I just want some thrills hopefully some fun
But I'm anxious with the feelings hanging
Is this what it's like being hung?
**** I'm just about done
I don't know the definition of happy
Honestly lost hope on the feeling
It's eating me alive
Dear Nel,
I'm screaming at you but you're clearly avoiding me
Haha you ain't ever going to be happy.
I'm not going anywhere unless you put a bullet in me
I'm trapped in your head
I'm a be with you forever and ever till you're dead
Hell even life after life
I'm here to make sure you're never alright
Cheers again
You about split your veins open
Another waist of a petty achievement
Let me know when you're going to sign off on the suicide agreement
Sign on the dotted line of this invitation
You're a perfect example of a waste of a creation
Cheers
Well thank you train of thought for your opinion
To be honest I'm fine that opinion was well said
Why split till I'm dead
Maybe I should find a slower route
I kinda enjoy the doubt
Its thrilling calling out **** before it happens
Tears shed find me a napkin
Let me call out the fake feels
Let me cheers to another lie
Let me climb over a volcano thats about to erupt
Let me burn myself to ash because who really gives a ****
Let me get attached and ***** it up
Or let me get attached and have them abuse me
Either way I'm at defeat so ask me again why I ain't ever happy
If you can hand it to me maybe things my be different
Until then cheers to my petty *** being ignorant

I see grown adults act like it's high school.
Ignorance over reality wow what a fool.
Thanks for showing me.
I take this knowledge and show you reality.

Bring me somewhere safe for me to feel like I need to be. I'm lost in a big nightmare take me back in our dream.
Open the window so I can have the cold air filling in a breeze. I should try and attempt to let it flow maybe I should get some sleep.
She moved on but is afraid of letting me know. Slowly she eases me into it so that I won't turn out to be cold.
Am I worth anything? Do you not love me anymore?
I guess I will have your wish come true. So much for fighting all the way through.
Someone come help me and mean it. Show me that you can save me and truly commit.
Help me I'm letting the nightmares control everything. She came and then left it all happened so fast It hurts more then it stings.

You've told me that you appreciate me, I tell you that you mean a lot to me. But all that matters is the years known and the fact that we still are closer than ever. Happier never after. But I'll always have your back. I'll pull up so fast. I feel sorry that you don't have a man to feel complete. But let it be known to the world that your stronger than most. Here's a second of my time because it's piling up to a minute. A heart to offer and you're still in it. You know what means a lot to you and I?
We'll still have each other with no goodbyes.

I fell down a few mistakes ago. Thought my wish was granted so I followed the shine because it had a powerful glow. Please don't say those words to me I'll just leave.Will give you space for your goals and for my chills to recover. My actions and thoughts has it's moments of torture. Once again with no apologies. Every time I stop to think, I'd pour me a glass to drink. Some shooting stars are not worth it. Took more of my trust, now my eyes begin to rust. I will learn to fly on my own. Walk by my side all along. Streets empty like my feeling. Weakest turns to my strongest, willing to sacrifice and hope it belongs. I've got enough thoughts and time with the ******* Mirror. Fist fly's through the wall, blood dripping so much I'm able to write on paper. ****** poetry from me. As long as my cheeks were dry from my eyes and maybe cry later. I Just Can't Take It!!! LIKE HELL I CAN'T KEEP **** TO MYSELF, LIKE HELL, I CAN'T FIGHT, LIKE HELL I WOULDN'T HAVE ANY INTELLIGENCE.  ***** I may have some problems but don't we all. I always saw my situations all the way through. **** THIS **** ALONG THE MEMORIES I'VE HAD!!! Bring me hell I'm sure I'll be back.I maybe out in the cold during the long nights. My heart pumps heat and I will be able to breathe. Unless you have lost there is no way you can bug me. My depression is just a scar. People must know I'm the man of my words. But Who the Hell are you to judge me for what I use to be or whom you see me as.

I'd be more than happy to spend any sort of time next to you. A spot on the bench to watch the seasons fly past our eyes. From gloomy days to gold in the skies. A drink of London fogs to hear about each other's day at work. Stories from our past, I've got the chills thinking and wishing you could be mine. For what it's worth.....That's all that's been on my mind. A duo's, a couple, an even love. But darling what do I have to do to be more than enough?

People have different opinions
(ok I get it)
I have yet to discover
I've yet to rebuild.
I was laying down and got a rush of sadness.
Don't know why.
It just happens!
I cried and was talking to my father.
Daddy I'll be ok
I Rush to my pitty as if it was important.
Well the point of it I guess is to let it pass and keep yourself busy.
Now a days sadness is ones legacy.
The regrets are just painful memory that repeats.
Why rush, why not heal it?
I admit some wounds never heal.
I've got these scars that don't show but their in the way.
Have tears that won't dry and impossible to wipe away.
I'm drowning with the rush of tears and won't be able to shred the shore.
**** not again this is a feeling I won't be able to ignore.
Crying, Hyperventilating, Screaming.
All Involving with a Rush.

I love being cut off, the night was clearly ending.
Hate it because worlds are spinning.
I hate to be ignored, shut up say no more.
I will just walk then let my silence do the talk.
Who will listen to me? Clearly nobody.
I guess you'll listen when you need some pity, I'll smile and stay silent because I know being ignored isn't so pretty.
I won't have the sympathy for a person who won't listen.
I don't mid helping just gotta not ignore me.
Cutting each other off gets no where. Makes me want to lay my fist through the wall, I deserve the respect I've earned,
Listen ***** I fought for my rights and words. Bit my tongue for your pity *** rants, this is bull **** and you know it. Cut me off again and watch the words spill out of my mouth.
Just remember I listen to all the rants and I'm not scared to spill them out. Listen and you'll get the right advice I can provide.
If it hurts,
If it bugs you,
If it even Kills you,
**** it up ***** and tough it out.
We're raised to be independent and fight for it. If it hurts get up and make sure it doesn't happen again.

The touch of comfort
The pleading for comfort
A safer place mentally
A desire to feel the warmth of your lips
A touch of desire by the fire place
I've wondered how long before I reach your hand
The touch from your finger tips
The gestures of love pressed to my lips
I desire you and have yet to still meet you

In my "dreams"
I'm reliant on pills
Alcohol took over and gave a buzz full of chills
How does one avoid the a dark reality
Got so lost I didn't know my own gravity
I got so neurotic
Felt a bit psychotic
Give me that chill pill
A tipsy buzz ready to fill
Maybe I will
Don't make me regret "False Hope"
I'm already tied down and I'm dipping cope
I'm tired of you messing around just come back
Here's my key to my heart seriously take and lock it
Then put it back in your pocket
Please don't wave it and mock it
Been in love with you and I don't want to unlock it

Already feel like we met
Already have said what I've said
I want you in bed
Side by side
Kisses with hugs with excitement
Smile kissable
Eyes full of desires
Smile had me blooming
I'm now daydreaming
I'd say you're pretty perfect for me
All I see is beauty and loyalty
Hopefully you'd desire me the way my eyes desire you
"I'd never let go first"

A sip of desire, a beautiful smile had me inspired. Voice of a siren, kisses had me dying.
I'm at a struggle but her smile put me on my feet. Have no idea what this means. Beautiful selfies from a queen.
Feels got better
Wished to write a letter
Soft as a feather
Her Hand held mine together
Hmmmm a smile
A kiss
Tell me and show me that there is a place better than this.
I'll wait, but until then I'm mentally at peace.

Notes Are Like Stars, They'll Always Repeat Their Gaze.

I've been paralyzed as soon as the light leaves me.
Paranoid by sound because every sound I hear maybe sinister.
I grip my blankets as if I were in a safe zone.
The darkness creeps on me when I'm alone.
I swear the silence in this area Screams at me to get out.
I don't want to be here.
I just want to sleep in peace,
but I fear I'll end up six feet below your feet.
Body aches from tensing up,
I don't think I'm alone anymore.
Eyes glancing all around to to be sure,
But I feel like I'm being watched and I don't feel so secure.
I'm trapped here Until Dawn.
Hello Darkness, how have you been?
I am unsure if you met my depression my good old friend.

I am lost,
I search and yet still gone.
Hours past and still not found.
Lost some weight but fats easy found.
Still no compliments and still ugly is still there.
I am lost and I need to be found.
I hope and I write for someone.
Still alone and still alive.
I am lost like a small pebble in the sea.
Not claimed or I have no where to be,
Not even anyone to see.

Been a good minute since I've talked to a piece of a paper.
Had to sharpen my pencil to get the get the words right.
Hope to meet my notebook again.

Life is all about the media.
you can express with out poetry just look at the comments.
It should be about working it out realizing there is an issue.

Can I just write and lock it all away?
what is it all about now?
Earn respect people, don't enforce it.

I use a piece of paper for a get away.
I have compassion for anyone you needs it.
Now there is nothing on here.

You say my name in vain, so my razor exposed my vein. Let's see if your opinions cut deep. Let's see if I find the motive to eat. If depression was a mission... that's a mission complete. All a battle between anxiety and me. We're about to see who's allowed to breathe. Build a fire to fight the cold. But I've already burnt that bridge a long time ago.

I've been doing good but I still have karma dimming my light.
I pay some respects but still struggle with my life.
Been spending A lot of alone time reading and writing.
But for the sake of my securities I doze off in silence.
Mute my phone, turned off notifications.
I'll be doing okay

please lets not fight or lets not let each other go. i will take care of you and myself. no more i just can't bare to suffocate anymore. how i feel about you matters in this spot on the planet. want my love well here you've earned it you can have it. last thing you need is a nightmare up in this cold dark place. i love the thought of you attempting to comfort me on my bad days. babe remember tomorrow is a new day. please don't them get in the way.
Tonight is cold, been chilling here thinking why so cold? are you gonna be alright? is there any more i can do for you to be satisfied? i will plan ahead to make you feel safe and alright.
you are so beautiful and i can hear you singing. it is more then music and more then an expression. like listening to birds and earth talking to you. its amazing, and i feel it shaking. the touch of your hand and lips is like laying in place filled with safety, no longer the pain recreating this misery.  What can i do for you baby?

Attached to a heart with no pulse.
Wrapped around the finger but my attention was paid through impulse.
Picked me up to my knees had me pleading.
Depression had me bleeding.
I'm no longer hardly speaking.
Only voice anyone's heard was a non sober one.
I guess that's why I shouldn't be allowed to love.
But why am I writing love notes to agony?
Is this the only hope I've got left in me?
Can you imagine caring for someone so much?
But my sincerity goes further away from their direction.
Either I am meant to be a toy and rolled up & down wrapped around their fingers....
Or I'm meant to lose my pulse knowing I took my anxiety attacks too far.

I don't get your intentions,
but I ignore your plead for forgiveness.
You gave me the tools to wreck my confidence.
I'll be waiting, but it's not your heart that's breaking.
Tears fall, but with these feelings.... I'm the one raking.
Bagging it all up and you're the one faking.
A cheater in the making.
What happened to us?
Where did your feeling go?
How long have you plotted this?
You left me dumbfounded
You broke my trust.
You gave up.
This isn't love.