Nellie 55

Nellie 55 Oct 2024

Ashley

Ashley, oh my dear sweet Ashley.
How I miss you ever so much my dear.
The snaps, text, and even calls that use to save me and you knew well and clear
Do I ever miss your compliments and your son sending me love
I miss you baby
I still love you my honey

Nellie 55 Oct 2024

Hmm how paralyzed

Paralyzed on the floor
Gripping on the pink pillow
I'm shaking back and forth in this dark room
Tv lit and I'm distracted from remembering the scent of her perfume.
Narrow road
If it wasn't for a smile I'd a never spoke
Burry me with whiskey and cigarettes
Put on my songs that'd I'd never forget
Excuse my manners they haven't left
This is where you count me as another guilty regret
But at least we're ****** together

Nellie 55 Oct 2024

Nicole Michelle Hammond

My sweet Cupcake,
How's it going sweets? You see my old man yet? How about Broccoli? I ******* can't without you ***, your "Bell" Has been through Hell lately. I never thought I'd miss your pet names so ******* much. Sometimes when I'm alone I always say those names in my head to stay focused. I used to be so ******* excites to travel the distance to see you let alone spend hours socializing on the phone or even sitting online with each other's company. Dear Lord I ******* miss that to the ******* moon and back baby. I wish to even smoke a bowl with you or even just have your favorite snacks with you.
(Strawberry cheesecake Danish)
(Cheez-It DUOZ Sharp Cheddar and Parmesan Cheese)
I have so much to say but can't even type them or write them or even let alone say them. But I will say this, I love and Miss and Need you Nicole Michelle Hammond.
Love always your
Bellion
P. S.
Sorry if I spelt the nickname wrong, you never taught me how to spell it xoxo love you cupcake.

3.5.1994
10.24.22

Nellie 55 Oct 2024

Idk the title to this one, felt like typing

My eyes don't see past this tunnel of silence, but the tears silenced through this tunnel. It's peaceful and I'm still pretty anxious. Can't tell if this is a sign or a blessing. I'm pretty cautious but I'm also good at forgetting. If I had my way, I'd not change a direction on my map, there is now way of bringing or changing the past behind my back. **** a episode I do this feel like binging these manic moments. I'd rather be somewhere happier for me to forever enjoy it. The past gave me the power of strength and weakness. It's up to me to find self forgiveness. I'm trying to find a new direction and I'm running low on cigarettes. As long as I keep busy I guess I can be careless.

Nellie 55 Oct 2024

I'm far from perfect

Already feel like we met
Already have said what I've said
I want you in bed
Side by side
Kisses with hugs with excitement
Smile kissable
Eyes full of desires
Smile had me blooming
I'm now daydreaming
I'd say you're pretty perfect for me
All I see is beauty and loyalty
Hopefully you'd desire me the way my eyes desire you
"I'd never let go first"

Nellie 55 Oct 2024

My wise fox

My other half
My wheeze when I laugh
Forever going to have your back
Prepare for a hug attack
Stoic and wise
Learning me and warning me that it'll be alright
Always a call away
I'm eager to talk about your day
My wise fox

Nellie 55 Oct 2024

Once before, a disaster after.

Depression & attention both have one thing in common, but always have a different direction.
One can be sudden, one can be annoying, hell one can ruin your choice in affection with ones you love.
Either attention craves you as you lay in bed paralyzed or you're pleading for love as everyone's screens captures they're soul.
A cry for help with no actions or words are being heard.
I once loved so ******* much it was impossible to trust & important for me to set healthy relationships with boundaries & communication was awesome. Attention was filled to the brim & depression wasn't over flowing. Now I'm depressed & have no attention. Well at least the attention I crave. I'm falling in love with strangers, I'm over loving people who take me for granted. I can't stop loving as if the DAM you gave me collapsed & now I'm over flowing with false hope. I guess the difference between **** you and dam me have a cause & affect. The difference is.... I **** myself for opening up to you.