I've never seen myself a handsome man.
Handsome like the guys who always have the right look, the right smile, the right people in their life, filled with confidence with no insecurities drowning them. A man who has the perfect world between love and desires. But at peace with his respects. I see myself no different than a shadow or just that empty man in the background like a background noise but with no sound.
(If that makes sense)
I'm no stud...
But I accept myself.
My smile may not be pure as gold.
My world may be dark and gloomy.
But my loyalty has grown truthfully
My mistakes taught me how to survive all the storms before the handsome ones took the light and rainbows.
I'm no handsome man.
But I'm a good man

I'll isolate
When I'm sad I write
If only someone can paint me a picture
I'll attempt to describe it
Most days I barely know my worth
But I prioritize work
But I forget to allow people I trust in
Maybe next episode they see me as a sin
I'll mention a couple of things with no explanation
Yeah, well I ****** up trust again
I'm better off in my cave
I swear I'm not sinister just a little emotion rage
Paranoia for no reason
Maybe I'll open up next fall
(No I won't Maybe next season)

You can take it all out on me,
But I'll refuse to see you as a enemy.
You can ghost me,
Just as long as if I know you're not buried in agony.
I know things been rough lately.
How much longer? How many voice-mails do I got to give you?
How many letters shall I send?
Wish you were here, wish I didn't have to pretend. More importantly I wish you were here when I need you. I've been embarrassing myself and I've been wrecking friendships. No one understands me as good as you did. I maybe have 2 maybe 3 by my side, but I know I should be greatful.... but I'm losing motivation and some pride. It's been 4 months since I last heard your voice. I get a text atleast every other 3 weeks. You've still have yet to learn how much you mean to me. Wish I could just give you my emotions and my eyes to show you.

My love for you can go from intimacy all the way to expressing everything verbally. If your attention found my direction I'd hold you closer. I want us to love each other, I would love to watch us grow older. With you I feel sager.
I don't think you understand how you mean to me. I believe I owe you my heart. I believe you deserve my attendance.
But darling you need to realize things will be okay. You don't have to hide away from me, you don't have to ignore me. My love maybe a mountain, but together we can climb. We can take a hike. Guess what.......?
The adventure has its mystery but....
Wouldn't the view be beautiful?
I think it'd be.
I have a trillion love and miss yous piled up ready to head towards you.
You're my hat to block the sun or the rain.
You're my blanket to keep me warm.
When am I gonna be your Bel to fight off the pain?
I don't believe you know how much I adore you in every sense of the way.

I've been doing good but I still have karma dimming my light.
I pay some respects but still struggle with my life.
Been spending A lot of alone time reading and writing.
But for the sake of my securities I doze off in silence.
Mute my phone, turned off notifications.
I'll be doing okay

I can't express how I'm feeling
But I'll play my role
Some luck behind these masks
some misfortunes with a act
I picked a role....
But the found knives flying behind me
Watch your backs, some smiles are sinister