Reality stronger than my dose,
I wanted to take something just as close.
One good handful is all I need. Leave the bottle alone with me. Eyes bloodshot, all the drinks and pills I've got. My securities drowning, no life jacket so now I'm hollow and floating. The amount I've consumed for my world to move slow, is it possible to really overdose?
SSRI's  talked to me softly, I'm yelling at myself to walk slowly. Heart begging violently. Oh you're triggered? Pill that trigger and bust out a shot. Cheers ***** that's a pillshot.

A new day
A new age
Some great friends
Family with a birthday cake
Make a wish, blow out your candles
Take a slice
A new day, a new age
Birthday wishes, family with friends handing over gifts
Happy happy birthday
Merry birthmas
Happy existence

A love lingers the air around me
Is that reason why I hyperventilate?
I've felt like I am the only one lost, kind of tough to be found.
I drink to sleep, a sip to fight anxiety.
I'm fine when I'm not, time and priorities is lost.
I simply tell everyone I "forgot"
I honestly forget to breathe, that depression consumed me.
In all honesty nothing is really working.
Just me alone in my thoughts and it gets tougher every time I think of the smile.
The screams get louder, I get quieter.
I'm just laying down in silence. Tears form a storm dripping onto my pillow with violence.
I began to Hyperventilate.

As I attempt to move forward,
I catch myself going the wrong direction.
The temptations in my head lead me to self conversations,
but I hold back do to self motivations.

**** a temptation when I have myself.
I will throw success at my mental health.
Some have lost their lives,
Maybe they'll find themselves on the other side.

I avoid myself because I scare myself when I careless,
I've always wanted to avoid my regrets.
It got tougher when everyone I loved left.

Always needed that company
Never wanted anyone to speak
Just sit in the room silent with me
The comfort of a silent conversation dulled a loud discomfort
Just sit close with some comfort