I love and miss you a lot,
Buried you and my father together in a spot
I couldn't help to cry I even fought
Hurts to let you go too
You were leaving too I had no clue
I'm home safe now, with you were doing the same.
But I followed your last request and brought dad home

I never thought this would happen.....
I got a call, rushed to the hospital wishing it was you I can call
I was hoping to get you out of there.
I'm struggling twice as hard because you're not here so I'm not about to prepare.  I can't seem to feel okay again, my heart had stopped beating and singing. It aches in silence as my tears drown my face. I'm lost daydreaming about your face. A drink to put my anxiety back in place. Alone I cry, alone I deal, alone I feel. My red flannel kept me cold but hugging you for one last time drowned me with lifeless comfort. Because it was your last warmth I'd touch. Dad I miss you so ******* much!

What would it be like to rewind time? If only I can replay that on repeat I'd always visit my favorite times. Now I'm empty and trying to not cry, I distract myself to take a break but I still crumble inside. I eat to have enough energy to waste. I am about to put some pills onto my diet plate. A dose of depression was all I can taste. But I put on dad's jersey, even though it now hurts me. But I still feel comfort in that pain. Hurt like hell to carry you to your grave, I Burried you and now all I have left is your name. You died at a young age, now I'm trying to avoid making calls to your cell. Losing you and your mom in the same week hurt like hell. But you'll always be my hero, I may not be able to call. But I've got some alcohol. Potentially tempted to get a xan or a clonazeapam. Either way losing you would be the worse drug dose. You and I were so close. But I hang my dad's jersey and the clothes I wore when he passed. All I can day dream about is him randomly calling my cell back.

I've always tried to do it myself first. Even when I fell and **** hit me where it hurt. But you answered my call when it got worse. Picked me up and dusted off the dirt. Showed me how to fix and repair. Was the only one who can fix **** from out of no where. Now I'm fighting my tears away from others in silence. It was you who fixed my broken heart, it was you who welcomed me home. Kept from from falling back, kept me on track. A cheer from the sidelines, now I'm performing glancing in the stands to see nothing. Now both of you are gone. My most mother and father figures are gone. I didn't expect to be so hurt, this will hardly ever work. This is beyond the worse. I can't handle to see anyone. I can barely eat, I'm exhausted to sleep. Dehydrated but I still drink. Numb for only a moment. Give me a blade and the pain won't even phase me. I'm ******* lonely.

The doubt fills my covers with warmth. I wrapped around to curl up. The thought of love gave me a chill, but I flipped my pillow over to hold it tightly. I began to doze off to sleep, I still feel a bit lonely. But I remembered to breathe because taking it at my own pace is free. I still work on my own anxiety. I took the time to turn on the radio, what am I going to daydream about now?
Do I sleep earlier to let the day fly or do sleep to forget? My love is out there somewhere...... she'll build my home with a warm place in here heart. That amout of heat will be my true desire place. But I've got to catch a few colds to get better.

You can't trust the world. You're surrounded by a dark and gloomy place. You've got tears drowning your beautiful face. About to lose your faith but you shouldn't girl.
I've seen that fight in you, it wouldn't be right for you to allow yourself lose. I know there's no one to help, I'd a given it all I've got if I was there beside you. But not one or a few have a clue. Not even I can say I relate because we've all got a different point in our view. We picture a happy place but we caught depression with no flash. Now we wished for a happier mistake to take us back.
I understand that your nights are so dim, I can agree the other side of the bed is colder with no one to grip or hug. A false dream and no love. But without a struggle how will these lefts go to the right? How are we to win a fight. I've lost a lot to just conquere a battle. But I forget this isn't a game, but a conflicted war I better be more careful. But these battle scars gave me a reminder of some potential wins, just a man losing and winning step by step. If I was there I'd give you a hand and some light. Visiting that dark place left me speechless and emotionless and I would hate to see you in the cycle.

As she jumps the gun to shoot her shots. I take notes and give it all I've got. Writing down feelings to be her target. Didn't know I'd be a lesson on her irons sights of her shooting range. **** me for being that naive man. Who would of known I was also gullible to her sweet smile full of false hope. I'm either not enough or I'm just that cover of a book she chose to judge. Case dismissed without review, but she'll Crack cases for the **** boys with no common cents. Broke and guilty. I guess men like me still manage to get locked up with beliefs of what we call love.