Nellie 55

Nellie 55 Aug 2021

E.R

I'm really fatigue
Body is far too weak
The loss of consciousness and had nothing to eat
The weakness through my chest
The pain traveling up into my head
All I can hear is the I.V and my stomach
Time dragging me out of my covers
Cold sweats and nausea taking over me
Drenched in sweat apparently
All I wanted was to sleep
Lost motivation to eat
How do I compete?
I'm still really fatigue
Now I've got multiple fluids on my I.V
I'm watching the clock and forever is couting

Nellie 55 Aug 2021

Beautiful

I can't describe what I'm glancing at.
But it does slow down time.
Perfect smile with a beautiful face, I can see her eyes shine.
I could bring over some whiskey,
She can talk to me.
I'd be listening.
A beautiful girl, trapped in a toxic world.
I can just daydream to show her a gentleman. I could take her to a drive in. Junk food and movies to enjoy the young night. Talk under the stars and bring her to breakfast to enjoy a cup of coffee.

Nellie 55 Aug 2021

Busy

Time to take more time to be busy, sorry for those Who'd want to see me. I believe being busy will be better for me personally. I've got myself as a priority. I'd like to find myself more busy.

Nellie 55 Aug 2021

Rant poetry #one

I am a bit stupid, drove home alone under the influence. Talking and ranting like it's the end. Wishing I never had to live in pretend. Always attempting, but everyone's avoiding. I get led on but then they leave. Always putting in that effort I guess it's better then a cheat. Do I deserve to be punished this long? I never knew what I did wrong. Always that creep, that's why I hardly speak. Repeated that cycle a couple of times then went to drink. I allow that insecurity to shrink. Going home alone, about ready to turn off my phone.

Nellie 55 Aug 2021

\(^_^)/

I enjoy to celebrate my success. Always doing my best. Taking that weight off my chest. I am far to amped too rest.
A shortness of breath. But thus isn't anything I'll regret. Happy I woke up early with the shortness of hours I slept. Now I will happily take a step.

Nellie 55 Aug 2021

Idk man I felt like typing

Why do I ignore me?
Never wanted to make it work, the best I did was my worst. Mocked myself again. Stuck inside my head. Decided to give up instead. It's a lot easier to do nothing, then I've caught myself daydreaming about me doing something.
I've made a difference, used my flaws as a reference. But then I climbed up the ladder. Earned my way to a staircase so I best take a step. Moving up slowly. Not allowing myself to be so controlling.

Nellie 55 Jul 2021

Just a visit, I don't live there at all

Found it easier to visit the dark. It'll have a place in my heart. My responsibility will own my misery. Will refuse anyone one to conquer my heart. Doing it slowly like a puzzle part by part. If you need me, I'll be in my thoughts in corner slamming a bottle of whiskey. I brought my demons with me. They're just visiting. All I carry is all I can handle. I'll float and toss that paddle. Then light one candle. Allow the waves keep me gripping with a palm. Eventually things go silent and calm. I get nervous and scared but it's exciting. I find failure because success is hiding. But I believe that's worth finding.