Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
Nellie 55 May 2021
I wake up still half woke. First jobs to serve orders through drive through, I'm still broke. Second jobs to be sure customers following the rules while I do the escorts but still not enough to escort me financially. A long day and I get to nap finally. Day two I'm sore but I'm cooperating and responsive. I get through it good & still not verbally aggressive. A deprived wallet, I can't even do this for the rest of my life I think my egos haunted. I've got some thinking to do, I'm not going to lie I just don't want to see this through. I've got too many priorities to care about everyone's comfort. But admire the people so I low key put in the effort. Doubts filling my credit score, I'm hoping to barely make more. But I collect more debt with myself. I'm destroying my mental health. I admire the people, so don't be claiming my personalities at my own funeral. I'm still half woke, my two jobs still cause me to be broke. But I still go the extra mile down the road. All I'm doing is playing catch up, but it's still low key not enough. A labor full of tough love.
Nellie 55 May 2021
I maybe tired
I maybe exhausted
But I will not fail myself again
I can change but I will not stop working on myself
I am my own priority
Nellie 55 May 2021
There is so much power with my paper and pen.
Lately I can't express anything verbally again
But I can write upon a struggle
Once upon a success but failure to my stress
Hand over my crossed heart from the devil
A fallen spawn but feels like a darker level
I've fallen to walking with a crutch
Now I'm trusting a little too much
But I'm vigilant as ****
It just doesn't feel like enough
Ever just want to avoid just to get a break?
A pen to express these feelings on a piece of paper
I rant or a therapy session ready to read later
A document to fall back on
Aesson to learn upon
It is now a favor
Saved by my pen and paper
Nellie 55 May 2021
I can barely stand
But I know how to crawl
I can barely laugh
But I can give you a smile
I maybe broken
But I'm in repair
I will not be able to fake it now
But I'll be okay
A lost cause
But a redirection
Not a failure
Just a learning experience
One step away
But I keep the progress going
Nellie 55 May 2021
To sit and to think. Too enjoy that silence of peace. Where's that better place? I change my mind...... this is the best I can ever get. Once upon a broken heart I've realized it's easier to let go but not to forget. My favorite is sunset with some tunes. No one but me. I think this is a sign, I think for once I'll be alright. NO!
I am alright, I am in a safer place. The beautiful lies people feed me. The tough live I've got. For once in my life I'm fine. Not a person can change that.
Nellie 55 May 2021
I'm just sick of it
Not how I imagined it
I'm decent
I'm fine.
I'm good, I'm great, I'm fine.
Not drunk, not sleep deprived.
I'm slowly getting stable.
But I'm also just fine.
I'm fine once
I'm fine twice
Call it a double tonight.
I'm fine
Nellie 55 May 2021
Once a lost cause, but I forgot them all. Started walking forward and that's all that mattered to me. I do appreciate comfort but that'll lead to destruction. I don't listen when it means nothing. But watch that grammar check. How about I'll be the one to light my own cigarette. Always busy now, thoughts begin race now. But who really understood that. I'm watching my own back. I've been watching my actions cause that affect. Still not a regret. My poetry the same but put in different words. Maybe I'm the problem. I've got to take a break then begin to solve them. Either a past tense broken heart finally on a recovery. Still feeling empty. But it's bearable. I wished for no one else to be miserable. I've got attention that has a habit of leaving. I've got journals about me grieving. Accomplishments I'm receiving. No longer having these arms bleeding. I'm slowly succeeding. Just don't let me down because you've got that power.
Next page