Ever have a movie of thoughts in your having a marathon?
But can't find yourself to run that long?
I even avoid the words I shouldn't say in the first place
Trying to stay at a steady pace
I've got my own motives
I wouldn't want to blow it
I'm now drawing in liquor I've got my own life coat
How about you just let me float
You haven't struggled withe so why does it matter where I go?
I'm only feeling safer talking to myself
I don't know who to trust
But I'm doing just fine
I don't want to have any secrets to hide

We're all so insecure
Our body language should be loud and clear
Living for a screen in fear
But that double tapped heart spoke for the world to see
But that's a new language we all speak
Not much for false hope
But I hope to face these flaws
Now being a decent human is a piece of art?
That's a bit sketchy
We're all insecure & we're lonely
That's what something you can't ever cure

You think ghosting me Would be conflicting?
But in reality
This makes me happy
I've got a best friend
Atleast they're real and see it through the end
I'm a bit of a one man army
I refuse to seek help but I'll help others when they can call me
You don't need to provoke me
I've got the memo but I thought you were ranting jokingly
Both sides tough so I stay on the fence
For my own defense
Not all about seeking vengeance
But I love to do my own thing
Sit alone at a park chilling on a swing
Probably the best therapy
I'll love those who want to see the best in me

I'm figuring it out calmly
Dozing off safe and softly
I've got good people watching over me
I've got a shift to go to
Income not much
But it's just enough
I've got a roof just not yet my home
I'm honestly feeling happy
***** the criticism
Not even feeling like a victim
I'm enjoying good people hospitality
I'm finding the good in their personality
I've only got one try
Not about to let that go to waste
Here comes my palm with a wave
Thank you hope you've had a good day
You need help I'm a call away
Always listening to someone talking
I learned how to communicate and keep walking
Most give me a glance
I've got the ones who hug my hand
I'd give them a tag
And thank them for being the best I've had
There are still good peeps^_^

Always felt that my writing was garbage! About to take it out but I chose to recycle it. Saved myself from a mental panic.
I can share it to the world
Maybe keep the real ones in my journal
But I've always put in the effort
Allowing my doubts to flirt
The beauty of tough love put me back to work
We don't farm plants because we're the ones growing
Home grown in this planet
We've learned to grow over a global pandemic
No one can tell me what's trash.
I'll take them out so fast.
About to get myself back on track.

Now I'm pending, messages still sending. Realized these people were pretending. Am I worth unfriending? You're cunning but this is my sanity & it's not ending. That's something I'll always be defending. I don't care if it's offending.
One second I'm there
But then got ghosted in the middle of nowhere
You leaving keeps my thoughts haunted
But I refuse to be taunted
Looks like I've got to cut my lawn
Found more snakes, trying to keep them gone
But who knows what'd happens next because my worth is like a snap
"Pending"

Feels like my steps are talking
While my head spins I just keep walking
World spinning, thoughts winning.
But that's only the beginning.
I find peace with loud headphones on
Walking around with the right song
Singing some rock music
Laughing while Em is telling me to just lose it
I'm taking a step to cool off
Not doing it because I'm *******
But I'll give my thought a uppercut
All that to do a chin up
I cherish these walks because it feels like home
Written in dark cursive has my lessons but I still hold my own
Like a star bright with a emotion it dies out like a flash of a light
To a dark place but a dim light at the end of the night
I walk to get fresh air
Walking to find myself to care
But one day I'll walk there