I know I'm beautiful, failing gave me potential. I conquered being that *****. Some claim I'm a beautiful witch. I **** myself off with my critical thoughts. I'm picky as ****, I want it all because what you've got to offer isnt enough. Sell me your happiness so my mentality has wealth. I'm a ignore mine and others health. They all want one thing, but I do too. But I'm priceless and won't give it up to anyone because I don't like to be used. My impulse ideas bring me a beautiful mess, hard to stay clean when I count everyone's regrets. Talk ****, I'll throw a fit, possibly you'll get hit. But I'm sassy and I won't quit. I care for others a little too much. But what they offer me is never enough. My smile is contagious, be careful love is toxic I promise you wouldn't be able to disinfect it. My personality just kicked me back for dropping a anchor. I'd love to deposit my demons can I get a hold of the gate keeper? Or atleast a soul banker? You do you, I'll do me, I'll be temporary happy. Watching myself with a blush, but thinking of these ******* also filled my thoughts with disgust.

Lost my own respect. The dark me conquered my regret. Sooner or later this will hurt, but for now **** what's broken. I didn't risk it all to rip my hearts stitches open. I'll do my rant, cry on the ground to water a plant. I'm growing black roses to put my feelings in a grave. Too bad I'll be late to my own wake. What a heart ache. My temper has control now respect me I ******* demand it. This is my life you can't have it. I'll repeat myself again just for you to not hear me. Starting to believe you can't comprehend my agony. The temptations to throw hands through these dry walls. Under my pillow I scream I hope you fall. You claim the love when my feelings fall the opposite direction. All I feel is barb wires squeezing my temptations. But the more rage fills the satisfaction of my broken heart. Thank you for ruling my life as I fall apart. I don't know me, I knew me. I fought for you, just for you to lie and abuse.

I've wanted to change, but life got in the way. Wanted to appreciate, but felt guilt and depression got in the way. Drinking a dozen, trying to change for something. Ended up with nothing. But the storms passes me by after a long pause. Restarted to catch these flaws. Homie told me to watch the rainbow in the end. For a moment I can just smile with full attention. The tunnel eventually gave me light, even the brightest stars die. Life full of history but people don't want to make it. I'm demanding myself to work on it. **** those who wouldn't trust me, when have I not left you lonely? I trust, but don't trust. I love to fall again, happens more than a imagination. But the sky brought me a rainbow, I brought my coat this time. The wind chill can dry me off from the storm that caused my emotions frost bite. Found that sunshine, this is a beautiful moment and it's mine

I've got good people in my life. People who still treat right. Can't thank them enough, everyone's struggle because ***** just so tough. The weak emotions doesn't workout, but together we put in the reps. With very little rest. Starting all over again to get this struggle to leave. Even if it's temporary we still compete. But friends I've got helped me complete. I refuse to sink, anchored down. But I won't drown. I fight for the surface as they grab me a life jacket. We swim safely to shore. With the friends I've got I believe I won't struggle anymore.

I don't ever feel like anyone's ready, always going slower and steady. Been hurt so much, life's just full of tough love. But I've gotten stronger with these reps, this will for now be my last set. Someones mistake. Maybe, please don't break. Comfort was all I was craving. I left my heart open, but these fakes left me broken. All I needed was your patience
But wait....catching me at a vulnerable stage, was worth you feeling your ego up while I feel my chest race. My experience was crazy I wrote down some of my achievements. But your patience was lost for me to comfort you at your convenience.
A failed date, then the rant to update. Blogged it to take a verbal break. Now I'm wondering if I'm finding love too late.
Patience is the key, but everything's locked. I wait longer to get blocked. Hands up for cover, also to reach out because I'm a lover.

I've been giving  it a thought. Always second guessed myself never even gave myself a shot. Always thinking like it's my last chance, but I should full send like it'll be my only chance. I've been treated like a mutt all my life. I'll still treat others right.
"Oh he's poor give him food and water"
Then mistreat him like he's not any smarter
I've been avoiding the world with my headphones on
Not giving any attention to what's going on
Thoughts on shuffle, motives on repeat
Pausing to take a minute to breath
I've been giving myself space, but realized I don't really belong at other people's place. I've belonged alone all along, tell me I'm wrong. Do something about it, or rant about it I don't care. I've been a Existence but I'm not a picture to share

As I stay on the shallow edges, I dove deeper to fail again. But that's not the worse part. It gets deeper and darker. I guess that's why the water waves at me. A wave to remind me I can still drown, but I've got to hold my breath. I take a drink for a relief. But I can't accomplish anything without diving deeper. People don't realize **** because I've noticed they're a heavier sleeper. Some even have the luxury of a boat with a life jacket. I'm doing this without safety precautions and I manage make it safe to the shore. Still scared but I fight to make myself stronger because I don't want to fight fear anymore. I can't drown myself, but others have anchored me down. Doomed and suffering but I've learned to swim so for a bit I'm safe and sound. I'll surf the waves in attempt to figure if it's waving hello or goodbye. I'll take that risk and give it a try. What's the worse that can happen? Rock bottom? Even the shores aren't safe.