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Nellie 55 Mar 2020
I'm
I'm okay
I'm fine
I'm happy
I promise I'm safe
I'm eating
I'm sleeping
Lifes great
Nellie 55 Mar 2020
I need music with the right beat. Words freely coming to my mind but I can hardly speak. About to hesitate, with a heartache, possibly about to deteriorate, I'm a contemplate, everyone's fake, not about to break, risking it all but that's  what I'm a take, didn't mean for anyone to break, give it time with a rate, musics loud this is great.
How many times will I shine, star light that's mine, doing this all the time, need a Corona with a lime, back on the grind, secretly trying to be fine, but rejoice is something I'm a find, not looking behind, I'm just too kind.
Like lately, been crazy, maybe, where's my baby,  emotionally waving, I'm saving, love craving, feelings levitating.
Dear Nel, you surprised hell, but oh well, do tell, did it burn when you fell, was it a spell, you stuck in a shell? Come on man, help me understand, I'm a fan, how'd you start off was it a crayon, hard to keep up so i ran.
What's love, looking up, high above, i won't pry nor shove, look a dove!
Impossible! unstoppable!
Forgettable, debatable, realtable?
I'm a play on the swing and let the words free, no tax fee going to let it all be. So tell me who's next to criticize me.
Nellie 55 Mar 2020
Want to run away, but i can't help to isolate.
Working my *** off to make debts rent. Impossible to make a dent. Along with bills thats increasing but my checks spent. **** near impossible, ***** unstoppable. How bout we all stick together and take shifts. Humanity is supposed to be a gift.
Nellie 55 Mar 2020
You're my hero
All though
You're true to me
Been helping me mentally
I can't just beg and plead for help
But you have been getting me back to health
I'm crawling out of hell
This ******* anxiety
It needs to die and not allow my heart shatter anymore
**** a ***** who doesn't give a **** about my achievements
Darling you give me a positive motive especially with our walks
Talking about growing old together
Just you and I getting old because who believes in forever
There's no such thing
It's a fairy tale
But with our bond we won't fail
Nellie 55 Mar 2020
Sleep
Nightmares creep
Death flirting back
Lets live off of naps
Wait gotta back track
Won't let the mental issues attack
I got my own back
Bout to give it a little slap
**** sleep when you can live off a kitty nap
Nellie 55 Mar 2020
Call me a ******
Beat the hell out of you
So you won't scrap it
You can't pull through
Hands faster then your blink
You won't be able to think
A new victim
Call for a celebration where my drink
******* mean when you say you're playin
You just lost *****
Game over "******"
Nellie 55 Mar 2020
Why do I have new issues with everyone?
Hold up, I'm done.
Wanted to be the new role model
I'm a survive
Because my love ain't alive
Tell me that makes sense so you can pretend I'm actually okay
Oh wait that hasn't ever happend
I be to busy caring
With a decorating heart I'm still sharing
Loud music blaring
So nobody can hear me scream
Am I in a dream
Hush
I'm just thinking
Hmmm i need a bottle so these suicidal voices stop making my thoughts shrinking
How do I get far
When all the past catches me
I'm truly alone in this ****** up reality
I raised the younglings
Because my family taught me what no to do
So it's something my "babies wont go through"
I'm always at my worst
Quick i need a new verse
Mom and dad loved me to hate me
But that was only temporary
I see the potential change
Now I'm reliving regrets because nobody ever loved me
I've cheated, got beated
Been cheated on, hearts gone
Always in the wrong, when I'm right
Sick of this fight
I'm in pain
Say my name
I'm not insane
I'm okay I'm okay I'm okay I'm okay
I'm fine I'm fine I'm fine
Give me something
Any subject to distract me
I've got this ******* personality
Some ******* hurt me to make them happy
So I happily let it happen
To duel the mental pain so now I'm cheering and clappin
Like fights on ***** lets go
About to black out to see how far I go
Do I have mental illness
Or is this another manipulation someone said to comfort me
Wish to one day actually be happy
I've been digging to climb
Fell to repeat the cycle again
Ready to split myself open
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