The distance between myself & my doubts caused me to crumble & fall. Heart breaks when I fall off. Fell in love with the broken promises, the hate, & my insecurities drowning my eyes. I think I'd rather lose it all. My words didn't break the fall. I've been lying from words, feels, and beds. Still managed to be honest with my regrets. Please allow these inner demons to be forgiven but not forgotten. I've learned a lot from a darker side of my soul. Tell me I'm not enough. My genuine over protection will show it all. I'll isolate myself to avoid feeling at defeat. Cry myself to sleep, kicking the tears I've drowned myself deep. Tell me all I got to do is stand on my feet. I'm a long way from myself! I wish to have the love I crave because I know it'll help. Realizing I'm avoiding hell. You don't know me at all. Love was never the words I've heard, but it was body languages that took away the hurt. When it's quiet enough, I found the truth that didn't require any words. How often was I loved? That's a observation I'd really have to make. Dealt with so much alone, forgotten what it's like to reach out. Lately I've isolated where it's cold, the chills brought me to a quieter place.  A place where I feel safe.

Out of all the things that burn in my head, I froze upon destruction with words I never said. My dad had taught me sometimes there isn't anywhere to hide, especially when it was time for a goodbye. If only it was upon his arms I'd isolate and hide. Now you can see these scars when I wave. One day they'll disappear when I decay. If I were to lose, I'd never say goodbye. Some battles aren't meant to take flight. But I'll always welcome anyone in my arms. These scars have love to pass around, not a cure but the hopes of comfort wrapped around my chest. I've hurt like hell and still got some regrets. Remind me again..... who was I when everyone left? I've been so bottled up, detoxed before. Have been locked in my head. But the pain has that silence only one in particular heard clear as day. Now I'm making plans to visit her grave. I need you
"Here with me"
Mom has always been a distance further closer to me. Dad has been the one to hold me at peace. Somedays these scars reopen the mental battles that chose defeat. I wanna sing, I wanna cry, I wanna laugh, I wanna hide. Still no time for goodbyes. Just a brief wave, a waving motion in the air. I promised a destination to find, one day you'll visit me there.