Truth is,
As cliche as my opinion may seem.
I'm stubborn but in a unique way.
I've lost a lot to be particular in my hesitations.
I've been through enough disappointment to know better.
But the truth is,
I'm more afraid of losing me in someone who wouldn't love me for me.

Having a good heart tore me apart.
With my face feeling that burning water. I swear it was liquid fire. But I'm drowning in defeat.  Can't stand on my feet. I knew love wasn't be easy. I keep busy. But a good heart gave them ice cold flames a wave. I'm shredding the shore pleading to avoid mental war.

I'll sacrifice my mental health!
In high hopes to gamble for true happiness. Darling let me go and let these demons in! They seek and feed off of my fear. Even if I'm " my own enemy "
I've written letters such as to my dearest agony. I've always lost me. This is an opportunity. Opportunity to take me away from toxicans like you knew. I'm trying to find my way to you.

Anyone else have a moment where your brain puts on a performance?
Then insecurities rehurse all the hurt you've fell in. Comparing each memory as a story debating which ones the worse. Losing count now am I now a fallen star? I've once heard the stars are dead but they blow out so fast. I think I'm laying down talk myself back.
In my guts I pull them out, give my heart a yell and a shout. Let me in, I've caused a sin. Don't even know where to begin. But I refuse to allow these intrusive thought's win. Once upon my happiness I've recognized a win. I've got family and friends that joined me along this dark street. A light under that tunnel was all that I was able to see. But lately these dark thought's caused me to hurt. My insecurities performed an accurate rehearse. I swore upon my MA since birth. Don't have me fooled I know how to be heartless because I was once fooled. I've tried so hard to sleep but insomnia kept me cool. What I'm trying to tell myself is that I'm at war with myself and I with you.

Life has mysteriously given me an opportunity to open up, I laughed out loud because I'm not doing that. She's pretty perfect, but I swore it'd all be worth it. Go ahead and allow me to take you out, call me and talk to me as if I'm yours. I don't wanna open up when you're not mine. I'm avoiding myself again, trapped over thinking again. Darling you're beautiful the way you are Ms. Someone I can hold and kiss. I'd enjoy your attention and flatter you with my charm, I'd like to make you my lucky charm. I am stubborn, I'm silly, and I'm pretty empty. But I'm also full of life with some delight. You're amazing especially with your gorgeous eyes. You admire me? Really? I'll be your guy. I just don't wanna open up until you're mine.

After all I've met this beautiful girl, the way she smiles I swear my chest twirled. We talk and laugh, she's bringing happiness back. Howdy Mr is how it starts, then these feels began to spark. I like podcast music baking (hehe) and teen wolf. Stop it mam I'd love it more for your company. Good morning honey! You're something I think of and I giggle like it's funny. I'm genuinely happy. Interested and involved, I love the way you meet up with you ma to watch some ball. But the Bacon burger was the OG Touchdowns for the onion ring! Miss beautiful I'm right here! Let's bake and enjoy a cold beer. Talk music and poetry to make the sparks crystal clear ❤