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 Nov 2013 Neil T Weakley
Morgan
I didn't meet him in a laundromat
He never offered me a quarter to dry
my crumpled clothes
I didn't meet him on a play ground
He never pushed me on a swing
I didn't meet him at a bar
He never said
"Hey, let me buy you a drink"
Honestly I can't even tell you
the first time I looked into his eyes
He just kind of melted into my life
And I never thought to question it
Until he washed away
Oh,
how hard it was to breathe
that day
 Nov 2013 Neil T Weakley
Morgan
He'll smile
and say,
I'm fine
I've got a ride

& then you'll find him
walking home in the rain
an hour later
The trick is to convince
him getting in the car
is somehow a favor
to you
because he
cares
a lot
less about himself
than anyone else
And he's a quiet
case of agony

He never complains
to anybody
But he's
self deprecating
and
self medicating
He's an accident
waiting to happen
Except its never actually
an accident
He's got hospital gowns
collecting dust
in a pile on the floor of his closet
from all the times
he checked out
without asking
But his bloods still so warm
when he's curled up next to you
And
He's the kind of boy
who will push
you to the edge of your seat
on Monday
Then
he'll sing you to sleep
on Tuesday
You'll find yourself
panicking in the middle of the night
worried to an illness
about his existence
for no reason
at all
He'll have you
walking on egg shells
Terrified
to fall
Holding on for
the sweeteness of your life
He's the kind of boy
who's words never
sit well
And you'll know from day
one that he's not gonna
sit still
So you'll fall apart
every time he misses a phone call
Every "goodbye" will feel like
the last one
And you'll just wanna hold him
He will love you
with a completeness
a priciseness
you've only imagined
He'll love you exactly
as you've always wanted
But you'll never have him
for as long as you'll want to
**He's a quiet case of agony
He'll creep into you slowly
& plant his pain
all over your skull
Oh
I swear
It'll take years
for you to **** it all
 Nov 2013 Neil T Weakley
Morgan
I am not
a broken heart

Do not
romanticize
my pain

I have no one
to send you after

The source of hurt
lives inside my brain

Yes
I've fallen
apart

But all you'll get
from gathering my
shattered pieces
is cuts on the tips
of your fingers
and sob stories
to take home to
your typewriter

I had a friend
once who said,
"He doesn't love you
he just wants
someone to write
a love song about"


Well isn't that true
for everyone?

If there's no art in my struggle
It's of no use to you
 Nov 2013 Neil T Weakley
Morgan
you have to live with you forever
so you might as well forgive yourself, now
or be eternally bitter
 Nov 2013 Neil T Weakley
Morgan
hating yourself
is not punishing yourself
for what you've done

hating yourself
is just an excuse
to keep treating
yourself like ****

hating yourself
is what got you
here in the first place

to hate yourself is not to be brave
to hate yourself is to stay exactly the same
 Nov 2013 Neil T Weakley
Morgan
1)
I survived because "I'm here for you" was never an empty promise.
 Nov 2013 Neil T Weakley
Morgan
will work for sleep
an insomniac & her cardboard sign
wandering around in her mind
at four in the morning
....
 Nov 2013 Neil T Weakley
Morgan
she sleeps with every
gorgeous star in the night's
vast sky but she still feels
outshone by the bright smile
of the sun each morning
 Nov 2013 Neil T Weakley
Morgan
rose
 Nov 2013 Neil T Weakley
Morgan
we're such destructive little things
we can't be trusted with beauty
we destroy ourselves to feel better
so why wouldn't we destroy each other?
if i crush your spirit or your bones,
just know
please just know
i meant to help you all along
we just can't ever figure out
how to be delicate
with the things we love
there's just too much
too much i'm willing to do
to feel for you
 Nov 2013 Neil T Weakley
Morgan
your neck-
it smells like home
oh and your collar bones-
they ask where i've been
every time i climb inside your skin
your lips-
they were my first sin

i'm coming back
to the city that raised us
but there's just no way
i can ever be a part of you
in as many ways as i want to
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