our goodbyes
are becoming more difficult.
for each day, i discover new crinkles
under your eyes or
how your voice sounds like sugar & cream stirred in coffee
when you smile.
so when i kiss you goodbye,
i’m kissing goodbye all of you.
(your body. your soul. my sea.)
i’m kissing goodbye the love that i have planted in you,
my love will grow until vines intertwine in your strands.
saying goodbye to you has never been
easy.
but why is it so hard now?

“i would have made a move on you”
unreachable, and yet you yearn with the soul
of a young boy i’ve seen in a summer field
far too many times.
“but saying, hypothetically…”
the dreams.
your eyes.
casting
spells
on
me.
in the dreams, you cared.
“hypothetically…”
i could never tell you about the dreams.
“hypothetically…”
you are the forest. he is the sea.
i ran through your trees for far too long.
“hypothetically…”
hypothetically, i would still dash through your woods, blissfully, scraping my knees as i fell over. over. over.

I wish I had your body warmth here, with me.
The sound of your voice... Anything really.
It's like a contest. Whoever caves first loses.
And the grand prize is disappointment.
You always win...

If I become unfocused
Because my day's been bad
You bring me back to earth with just a smile
No matter your misfortune
Or how far away I seem
You center me again with a small smile

When misfortune rears it's ugly head
Or the washer's on the blink
You bite your lip, and out comes that **** smile
No matter what your pain is
Or the fact the car won't start
You brush it all away, and then you smile

There's a light inside your eyes
That blazes hotter than a sun
It holds me here, I cannot get away
That light shines even brighter
When I walk into the room
I love you, and that's all I know to say

Your smile holds me hostage
It says it all, but not a word
That smile, shows me just exactly how you feel
It makes my day worth living
Knowing what's waiting at the end
Your smile, makes me know our love is real

It's a standard I cling on to
It's the rock that keeps me still
That smile and the love I know it shows
It's the reason I am living
My rainbow ending treasure
That smile, keeps me strong through out lifes lows

There's a light inside your eyes
That blazes hotter than a sun
It holds me here, I cannot get away
That light shines even brighter
When I walk into the room
I love you, and that's all I know to say

The tree that we both planted
When we started out this life
Makes me smile, when I think of it's tough start
How we planted a small twiglet
And how it grew strong over time
It's our tree, grown from deep inside our heart

I miss you dear so badly
I don't know how I can go on
Your smile, burns so bright inside my brain
It took you oh so quickly
Two quick months and you were gone
So, I smile, knowing you are not in pain

There's a light inside your eyes
That blazes hotter than a sun
It holds me here, I cannot get away
That light shines even brighter
I feel you in this empty room
I still love you, and that's all I know to say

There's a provocative quality to poems, don't you think?

Even though they are merely words upon a paper, they drip with a sweet and sticky seduction.
Passion and lust immortalized in black and white, capturing a carnal moment.
The words do tantalize and tease, for those unafraid to read it.
Your breath even hitches as the poem screams of those vivid teenage memories.

It's you inside the poem, digging your nails into his back, begging for the release you desperately  need.
It's your back that's arching, as he pushes harder and faster into you than ever before.
Who's screaming in heated passion as pleasure explodes throughout the body?

Is it you, sitting there, breathing slightly erratically?
Or is that only me? That feel the words come to life.

But after reading this, how can you not agree, that poems have a certain ****** quality?

I knew there was a look in your eyes
When we used to lay back in the valley of autumn and may
The sunlight made your eyes brown
With a dazzle proclaiming as glaze
But i forgot the sands of time
When you looked me straight in the eyes
And your eyelids dropped as you neared me
To caress me and my lips
And embrace what is love with a kiss
As your fingers brushed my cheekbones.....
Left me a shudder of pleasure
When ever you used to leave me
I used to think about it and leisure
The way that you brushed my cheekbones
Made you more beautiful with your blush
And tell how much you love me
And to remember events in the past
I knew you weren't daffodils
So many all together
Oh! what shall i compare thy beauty to?
I'd be alive for you for ever
And i knew in july and august
We had a fight on which we had to focus
And i saw you putting your lips on this other guy
But just when you started to brush your fingers
You suddenly refrained
When the other guy said 'I'm your lover'
You replied
'no! no! you'r not the same!
And then i was sitting in february air
When in soil love had sown
You surprised me and i was blessed in Eternity!
As your fingers brushed my cheekbones....

you make me

so unbelievably happy.

you make me

so unbelievably sad.

and i wish i could understand

how one person

can lift me to the stars

and then

hurl me to the darkest part

of the ocean.

the therapist said
that i have to
"strip away my earth suit
and find my true essence"

find my true essence.
who the **** am i without a boy by my side
and a hand in my hand?

who am i when i'm alone in my room, listening to silence?

who am i
without you?

It's hard.
it's gonna be hard to figure it out.
it's gonna be a journey

a journey that i need to take.

but at the same time, it's like
the Matrix.

taking the red pill?
or the blue pill.

you make a choice.
you can either hibernate
in another person's reality

or you can live your own.


but it's so much easier to fill this gaping hole in my chest with people that don't fit

than to try to let it heal by itself.'

late at night, when only broken teenagers
and felines are awake. maybe it's 3
(or 4, or 5)
or right when sunshine slinks through.
somewhere between consciousness and slumber.
i turn, fingertips brushing your skin,
warmth dispersing under my pores.
not fully awake, not quite asleep, i wrap my arm
around your torso,
my lips placing lazy kisses upon your freckles.
your fingers, from alertness, or habit, grasp onto mine.
and somewhere between the state of consciousness and slumber,
i fall back asleep.

if you are going to ask what my favorite thing is, or
what on this earth makes me the happiest,
i would tell you to read the lines above