dear young world
i just wanted to say hey
and remind you that
it's okay to not be okay
you're strong enough to
rise from your frayed,
woeful days
i know you've been through
hell and back
Jesus died and came back
you're God's kid, too
i hope you know that

believe what you believe
but please believe in yourself
and know that you're loved
regardless, this world can be
heartless,
but you've got so much love
to give
and reciprocation exists in this
unforgiving World of Sin

above that love that
love that you can give
just know to love yourself
the difficulty ebbs & flows
but just know the only
way to go is
forward
move toward that inner joy
that little girl or boy that's
inside of you
please try and maintain
your youth... and remember...
to Love You <3

- n.a

never tremble at the presence
of darkness in my mind
in retrospect
i look behind
i've seen this movie
maybe a million times
i don't cry or cringe
at the thought of death
because with all due respect
i've been face to face with it
in varied ways
and different lengths

i've faced death through
the face of myself
i still face it a lot
feeling the end
i retain many feels i felt
i've faced death through
family health
through the chacnes
of disaster in my life
a tragedy that would've
killed all my strength

the length of the
fear in my heart
and how that fear left a scar
tore down my guard
the length of that and its meaning
has drawn itself very far
in developing self
and the bond with a woman
i love more than anything else

i've seen this movie
maybe a million times
and i'll see it again
i'll see many ends
through the bends of this tube
this vacuum of the universe
it hurts
hurls you through the most
i've grown calloused to the worst
i've grown calloused to the hurt
for what it's worth
i still reside on this earth

why can't i ever just feel good
why can't i chase off the thoughts of killing myself
why can't i consistently scamper in the flowers and rainbows
without the demons scampering, calling me a coward, they some opps,
my foes
why can't i feel happy with myself and my mind
when people say i'm great, i disagree and throw it
to the ******* wayside
why can't i run towards the light and risk it all for the joy
but i feel comfy in the dark, the light is blinding
treating my life like a toy
raw emotion
i can't find the potion to make the pain go away
i don't wanna be an addict
but that alc seems great today
addicted to sleep
if i could i would *******
clock out for a week
if i could, i would never speak
and accrue all my thoughts in my mind
until i grow weak and implode
or cease my timeline of livelihood
cease to exist
blood on my wrists
nonexistent fists
because i can't get a grip
i'm tired of this ****
you can see it in my eyes
i wish i could grip on the grip
that holds a clip to a clipper
and snip this life ****
end it
in a blaze of glory
"the kid had so much potential"
**** that ****, it's gettin' gory
i don't care about the clout and the hoes
i just want my bros to shine
and stay on they ten toes
and if i die
they pave the way for they kin and they kids
and if i cry
i'll wipe em off and i'll trudge to the end
soon or not
i hope it happens and i hope they don't care
and i hope they don't stare at the screen
when they read they mans rushed his own end
i hope they keep their hearts clean
without those demons making headway
with those thoughts that may remain unseen
to the world today
but i sit and pray
and keep that faith on the daily
'cause i know God sees the time i'm on
and the tattered ship that i'm sailing
through this life
i've been cradling onto the willpower
gained by my surroundings
as well as the successes i see
that sometimes
make me feel like my work's not done
but at the end of the day
my life and thoughts are one
and i'm certain that
i'm a tortured blessed one

- n.a

there's a bunch of things
i could say about the waves
of pain and rain i feel throughout the day
no wailing cries for help
i keep to myself
and say "well, time will tell"
now i'm sitting in this hell
an inferno within this shell of my skeleton
recluse to the highest degree
if you've ever seen one

grey
grey hues all in my eyes
i cant defy all this hatred
i despise a lot
within myself
i simply cant help it
i try to get rid of it
with some habits
but this mind cant be my home
anymore
im with nowhere 2 go
i feel a hole
like someone shot me
in the esophagus
demons push against my will
my mind begins to wilt
the rose petals separate
i cant even meditate
because i cannot think straight
i hate the days
the nights remind me of the grey
i try to tuck away
it’s safe to say
this life aint here to stay
grey

rush me sound asleep
i feel like sound keeps me sane
the rain washes away the pain
down a deep and failing drain
it comes back up
back-washed with memories
through reminiscence
playback of my tragedies
rewinding
like the polar express exposé
filling my mind up with
rolling thoughts of self-destruction
rolling downhill
why doesn't this car
have a brake...
i guess you can't stop the
depression wants it gains some
leverage...

drowning in the sorrow
of yesterday
running back to beat me some more
life i'll never forget
encompassed in the sorrows of
EVERYday,
never a break