now i’m afraid to tell you how i feel.
you are telling me you aren’t lying,
and you used emotion.
you sounded like you cared.

now i feel guilty for doubting you.
for thinking you didn’t mean it.
yet the next day,
you are caring and sweet, and emotional.

so now what?
I know every couple has some rough spots
but ours don’t really exist.
How can they?

We don’t see each other daily,
we don’t go on dates
we’ve only kissed once (in the two years that i’ve known you),
and we don’t talk, we text.

As the tears are rolling down my cheek,
I wonder what has happened to us.
what has happened that we are inseparable?
Why are we so… addicted to each other?

But, is your emotion only visible when i’m sad or depressed or hurt?
or will this become a regular thing?
I hope it does, because it’s nice knowing you care.
It’s nice knowing you will be caring in my times of need.

but i don’t need it just when i’m hurt,
it’s a comfort i prefer to have all the time
it’s like a heart to heart long-distance call,
so when i feel the separation, i fall. (no rhyme intended.)

'You are my personal drug.”
hasn’t anybody told you that drugs are bad?
hasn’t anyone told you what happens if you’re addicted and you suddenly lose your drug?
Doesn’t it bother you?

but nevermind my pointless babbling.
it’s not like you care.
all this is to you is a boring reading
that will soon be sitting in the bottom of your backpack

I don’t know if that’s really the case,
but it seems like that’s what everybody else does
Oh, wait, nevermind.
you aren’t like everybody else.

See?
there i go again,
doubting you for no good reason.
what kind of person am I?

The kind that doesn’t deserve you,
cos your love for me is so dope-
i can barely cope,
when you make my joy go and overflow.

i miss you.
but this pain is something i could do without.
i love you.
but this separation is causing problems.

I shouldn’t have looked
I thought you loved me
I shouldn’t care, I set you free
So why is it, I feel this terrible jealousy?
Like I still have a connection?
False hopes, wishful thinking…
I set myself up.
But what I do know, I’m not sure I can trust myself anymore.
So tell me, would you take back the one who left you? (go)
Or would you move on?
I Don’t know what I want anymore.
It’s all still raw, still torn.
I haven’t opened those boxes yet.
I haven’t moved the roses.
I haven’t let go.
I wish I didn’t have to wonder what you’re doing now,
I wanted to go to your party, maybe make things better
But with family in town, I’m stuck at home.
I wish I couldn’t see other girls crushing on you.
I wish I could stop being stupid
And just… say my last goodbye.
And let you be happy.
Because all that matter in the end is that you’re smiling

staring into oblivion
thinking of what i just did
and what could i have happened
had i listened to her


We’ve drawn lines
and we’ve crossed them too
I know exactly what I’ve done
and what I’m going to do.

'Your eyes are blue,”
and together we moved
like blue diamonds
in a dark field of love.

never before
have I wanted so badly
to give myself away
quite so freely.

It feels so natural
to enjoy being wanted
to be held tenderly
to be bitten with desire

I’m still a fledgling
to the whole concept…
I may be innocent, but
I sure as hell ain’t naive.

never before
have I bled so much
and felt no pain
nor regret

soon
and very soon
again i shall bleed
freely, with pain

Only for the one
Who holds my heart
So close to his
And his is mine.

tonight
i crossed so many lines
and i feel
fine (tempted)

to do it again
and again, until
I don’t know where I began…
and where he ends.

i can still feel you
i can feel your lips
i can feel your body against mine
i can smell your scent
i can feel the intimidation of being this close to you

i remember being nervous
i remember the sound of your voice
i remember how i was shaking
and how i felt like an idiot

i still hear your beautiful voice
i still see your beautiful eyes
i still feel your lips
i still feel my arms in yours

i remember being dizzy and lightheaded
i remember thinking how much trouble this would cause
i remember not caring as our lips met
i remember almost crying as it had to end

i remember when i was caught
i remember tears and wanting to cry
i remember thinking:
was he really worth the trouble? this inexplicable pain?

leave me be, you will see
it was never really you, it was me
now i need to let go
how can i miss what never goes away?

clean it up, you will see
i was only truly happy
when i could be only me
not for you, out of reach

let me go, let me see
you have changed like you say
let me leave, you should know
it's time to let me go

why weren't you there when i grew up?
why weren't you there when i cried?
why weren't you there to hold me up?
why weren't you there when i cared?

now you are here, (hopefully) with answers?
you called, you wanted to talk
dare i answer the phone?
should i answer your plea?

what i want to know is,
why are you suddenly so interested
in little [not so much anymore] me?

what, after all these years,
made you remember your first daughter,
remember that i am here?