I hope they are still in sin
Because the anger that i feel inside is still lingering
In my heart, is where pain sits
Forced positivity doesn’t help an inch

They say don’t feel things you can
Because bullets shouldn’t penetrate a man
Don’t pull the trigger
If you don’t want to start the bitter
Control your outburst better
Before it eats you later

I hate passing through a dark tunnel that has pieces of my past
The way you threw your anger out at me unnecessarily -
Was how I was raised
By the time that piece came,
I knew I shouldn’t risk to stay

For my progressing mind and health -
Good surroundings is a priority
I’m not afraid to flick you and move
Because i know myself more than you

I met you in January -
When the sun wasn't shining
The skies were dark and cloudy
The voices in my head were tuning to my usual distrust

You were afraid and sympathetic towards my tremble
Your deep voice and comforting words were sinking in my usual distrust

You tossed undisguised words that were annoying but painless
You digged my ground to understand -
And believed in all my words
No judgments, no false assumptions were made -
Excluding the father part

It felt like a ray of light was shining through my dark clouds
You lit up the darkness
You gave me hope again
March, 2018 -
Was the last time we met

Beauty is not -
Fair skin, small waist and skinny legs or -
Curvy figure, wavy hair and unflawed skin
The lights in your eyes ignites from the fuel that you consume

Everyone owns beauty
Your attire makes you like how your past shaped you

You said shine your way but your unconscious words are peeling the colour off - exposing your bare thoughts
Are you, you? Or are you just following - to fit in?

They grieve, growl, and gaggle
They can't see their torn trousers, but their eyes are keen towards the others
They offer help, but talk about it when things happened
They ask for help, but gets bitter with the helpless
They plead the others to speak out, but shut them down when words are poured
They want their needs to be satisfied, but blurted out bullets to the helpless
They want their feelings to be pampered, but stomp out words that provokes

If you ask me, it's because sometimes I am inhibited
Thinking too much about how I should act and speak while your loud energy shut my ******* soul out of my body
Thinking too much about which side of myself that I can reveal to match with your personality
Examining my steps so that I won't slip into your hasty judgments later
Or maybe because I am just feeling uncomfortable with your impulsive bones protruding out of your body
I don't speak if I don't want to
And I can speak for hours if I want to
Call me mute and boring when all I see in you is an ignorant child craving for attention
I can't see the point of sharing words from my heart to people who I don't even trust
Because people tend to scribble out the truth with their own perceptions