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Jan 2012 · 997
Yellow Moon
Nathaniel Jan 2012
this night of the yellow moon
sings a slow and somber tune
the story of my ancestor's soul
is shared around the watering hole
naked whispers in lover's ears
serve to calm my sorrow's tears
a laugh echos from across the room
and smiles burst like flowers bloom
a pretty girl with an angel face
passes out dreams with a sour taste
we all know her by a different name
yet she answers us all the very same
hey would you like another pretty word
to compliment that come on line you heard
and a hey, hi, **, how are you?
is as common as a pair of tattered shoes
tap tap tap on the red stained floor
and a drunk brother asks for a little more
another drink to satisfy my tongue
another song noone knows who sung
yet every time we all know the words
in unison we sing like cattle in herds
and the church bells ring another time
to call us in to confess our crime
but we'll frequent again tomorrow night
for a chance to look through beauty's sight
another pleasant dream on this plain
saves you another night from this pain
Jan 2012 · 956
Kissing You
Nathaniel Jan 2012
fireflys and glowing light
come play my eyes tonight
sing and dance two by two
lift my feet while kissing you
Nov 2011 · 1.1k
Jailbird Poet
Nathaniel Nov 2011
Round the path these wraiths walk
paced to keep the gears turning
save for a few this is Lady Justice
her arms holding even the smallest souls
sounds of buzzing and locks clanking
dominate above the incessant chatter
backyard handshakes hidden from prying eyes
dogged deals shaping these shatter lives
and the word of the day is always "waiting"
taking one last look at the hands of time
before that dreaded voice bellows through
then its the cold slap of flash on cement
these veal on twenty three hour lockdown
spinning their tales these jailbird tailors
lying to each other for stolen smiles
each in a different stage of the same life
bathing in the omnipresent light of fireflys
dreaming of a wisp of smoke or a hand stroke
whichever waits for them on the outside
they'd believe in the patience of the buddha
if religion were on their tapered tongues
as it is there's always faces against the glass
eyes peeled to savor the brief passing drama
apathetic to the other prison dog's plight
drooling for the next passing hour
as they count them like sheep herding sleep
cleansing their conscience in the communal rainshower
everyone praying for the wings of freedom
to fly them from these sullen gates
the others still suspended in solitude
letting one man tell them when to eat and wake
their voices becoming mere whispers of wind
poets robbed of their rhymes and words
grown accustomed to breathing processed air
measuring their time in months, weeks, and years
locked away with the shadow of their fears
So i really don't like how this poem ends i'll probably be changing it in the future just wanted to put it out there for the moment
Nov 2011 · 3.0k
Freedom Fighters
Nathaniel Nov 2011
Tangible sin, its what i'm looking for
let the rants and raves begin
cause tongues of fire can never settle
for a one line poem or a break in tone
they need the blood red of wine in their glass
these aristocrats drinking from the lower class
we are far too outspoken to speak of silence
that's something only the seculars teach
Maddness, now there's an idea i can get behind
Imagine ideas like countries
nuclear weapons at their highest state of alert
what we believe is what we once held true
and whose finger is this on the trigger?
then eventually, yes
the tyrants will get voted into office
doing away with terms and treaties of old
eventually you'll get two shoes per person
as you read your generation's scripture like truth
from the nearest stall bathroom wall
for a good time call, God
cause he doesn't charge you per hour
well, only on sunday mornings nine to noon
but for everlasting life who wouldn't drink that elixir?
just one more broken promise
cause Buddha told me i'd be back again
back again to serve in the same platoon of freedom fighters
Nov 2011 · 973
lucid dreams
Nathaniel Nov 2011
life lived in dreams
this paper holding the seams
living and breathing, these aren't just words
the desire to soar above the birds
to speak to myself on a river bed
converse with a man long been dead
experience life beyond my skin
dance and play with my buried kin
If i don't forget maybe i can stay
a little longer, a week, a day
when this world begins to fade
i find myself where i last laid
holding together these fragments of will
long enough to reach my quill
writing fiction birthed from my mind
in these darkest depth i did find
a real non-corporeal life
free from chains and strife
a stone of truth from this stream
a truth stolen from a dream
Aug 2011 · 1.1k
Pills in Hand
Nathaniel Aug 2011
Skip the drugs
And give me a double dose of serotonin
I certainly do like those laughable days
The heavy sun reddening my face
Just a few minutes away from my lover's embrace
But I wait so I stay here and pace
Take the pills
So i can socialize among the saddening lies
And a week is a day
When your world starts to fray
So i take a seat with glass in hand
Waiting on a phone that will never call again
In my mind I knew this had to end
So take another pill
So the world won't seem so gray
And I make another pact
Not to die today
But I lie to myself far too often
To truly know the color of my character
Like the night it might be black
Like my anger when i look back
Or I could be a saint
Waiting on my rapture from a God of grace
All I know is that there is an end
Not so very far away
May 2011 · 674
Pulling Teeth
Nathaniel May 2011
Tonight I feel a heaviness in my heart
A wreckage of a moment that has yet to pass
A hand reaches beneath my breast
It grips my heart with a cold iron hand
Like false light I lie about the night
That moment we spent we only wanted to rent
It was cheap and never lasted past the stroke of midnight
A phone call you'd rather not receive,
you know this had to end,
you know I had to leave,
One day too long in your company
Funny how feelings change so quickly
So now once again I'm all alone
The sound of your voice changes tone
Now it's like foil between my teeth
And I find it's so very hard to breathe
I take another pill so I can fall asleep
Maybe tonight my dreams won't make me weep
Maybe I could die at peace within my sleep
A wish that I have folded and buried far beyond my reach.
May 2011 · 1.7k
My Warrior Woman
Nathaniel May 2011
My Warrior Woman
With every inhale I pass through you
each cell of your radiant body ignites
with your every exhale I am reborn
as a vague image in a mirror's light
held in the eyes of a single Angel
and so I ly my head in your arms,
close my eyes,
and awake as a single syllable
passing through your lips
grateful to spend a mere moment
within your mind and mouth
and even as my flame flickers and fades
as your breath blows it away
I search your longing eyes like scripture
for Salvation never present,
never saved.
Jan 2011 · 1.9k
Believe your Butcher
Nathaniel Jan 2011
I'm seriously considering blowing my brains out,
Gray matter that used to hold my consciousness
now plastering the walls behind my carcass.
       Blood Art,
a new cultural norm for an over populated planet.
Euthanasia be dambed lets ****
the innocent,
the consumer,
the ******.
I could cure this planet of all it's problems
if only I had more ink in my pen
and more shells in my Shotgun
Jan 2011 · 1.0k
The Icarus Ego
Nathaniel Jan 2011
It starts as a small voice, a quiet whisper
at a pitch just outside your conscious thought
then it's slowly building steam
The drums get louder and coal is shoveled faster
the idea begins to pick up speed
and its voice gains a bit of volume
You hear it and dismiss it,
not even a fleeting pulse
Selective hearing in the emotional spectrum
Keep stepping forward it will fade
We don't talk about it
It's just our way
But that little demon has some great ambition
to pull you off your cloud.
You've told your every love goodbye
So you reach for the Sun
and fall from the sky
Cause you never had wings
that could reach that high
Nathaniel Dec 2010
We think it's more than instinct
humming streetlights sing another song.
So we stop with the excuses
cause its just two of us tonight

What's a little bit of snow (when its)
Tomorrow's tomorrow,
Tomorrow, we'll forget everything we know.

Did we misplace that feeling in the dark,
the O.C.D. of a mimicked memory.
Reaching for the single night stand,
cause everyone needs a little light to bath in.

What's a little bit of snow (when it's)
Tomorrow's tomorrow,
Tomorrow, you'll forget everyone you know.

There's still the echos of the squall,
and save for the smell you're gone.
Long ago left out in the cold,
another spell that came out wrong.

What's a little bit of snow (when it's)
Tomorrow's tomorrow,
Tomorrow, we'll forgive everyone we know.
Dec 2010 · 1.1k
My Last Prayer
Nathaniel Dec 2010
Oh what hopeful prayer i send to thee,
In this my hour of misery.
A belligerent death has done so wrong,
A wind has blown with brothers gone.
A face not mine in reflection i see,
and mirrors now they frighten me.
A voice of better times sowing mines,
and my eyes kept missing the growing signs.
The sight of razors such a heavy weight
this stretch of rope and a growing fate
It takes fifteen feet or five minutes of blood
the thoughts come on like a raging flood
so I raise my sword to fight this more,
though one day life will lose this war.
Oct 2010 · 742
Little Moments
Nathaniel Oct 2010
Such a sweet lack of simplicity in what i feel for this desire.
A voice, a push, a lust bellowing from the bowls of my experience,
while wisdom binds my hands from behind.
such a sweet torture we all endure from the glances we give each other.
Yet the leap, the faith, the touch is too much for any to bear,
when two souls collide.
So we look down, look away, look again
and a frustration of emotions rises and falls like a cruel yo-yo.
Then we accept what we cannot want, cannot think,
cannot do in this kind of lifetime.
So we gather up and offer our illusions and keep passing unseen through little moments of other people's lives.
Nathaniel Oct 2010
This is... well this is an awakening
the fifth step for all you flagrants out there
I realize a lot of things about myself, about my life
I'm a luckless *****
without the sickle or the sores
and I bleed for every moment that I get
and I drink for those I don't
Time
time is something I always had
yet couldn't put it in a bag
and sell it to the masses
so I spent it
frugality was something misunderstood
and we saw all we had fade away
money my new greed
a backwards creed for a backwards need
to be more than content
the tones and tapping of the fingers and well lets face it, Satan *****
I want metal, I want steel, I want rope burns
decadence
such a sly word for something you need
its not the *** its not the drugs
its the bugs and hugs
and the people you meet
so send me away make me more
mold me I'm yours
but this is a confession and not salvation
nothing I say here will ever matter
yet I'm writing for an audience
so believe me or not
but let me show you the brew
a dash of daring
a splash of liquid courage
an eye of lustlessness
that's all it takes for me and you
and these sheets
and a flower and a fleeting emotion
so I disappear
between a blink and a tear
and I wish you all a fond farewell..
Oct 2010 · 548
Our Secret
Nathaniel Oct 2010
This is yours and mine
no one else's
the secrets between us
will never fail
they won't understand
no tongue could ever tell
this is Love
this is our spell
these mystic shadows
like the wind blows
never seek to question
this fragile space
between you, me
and our love
Oct 2010 · 1.5k
Rickets
Nathaniel Oct 2010
I deal in Ultimatums
I am the Scorcher of the Sky
By any other name God
My Dreams sway the movement of the People
Crowned Eternal for all to See
In My right hand , the World
My left, Reality
I conquered the saviors of the People
I've fed on the Blood of Sin's Virginity
I gave them fire and Greed
then showed them how to deconstruct the Seas
these Sacrificial heads roll just for me
I am the Sultan of the Sand
from me Spawned the most decadent brand
bombs and ticks, clocks and rickets
are merely the Product of my Seed
I made the Sun weep blood
I made the Stars shine in ecstasy
I built upon Avalon
I broke the Roman Siege
no Empire on this Earth will stand against me
creation and destruction is my creed
I Am Ego
Bow Before Me
Nathaniel Oct 2010
I had a dream,
which was not all a dream
    bathed in moonlight,
              naked,
                    without disguise,
holding two tickets to tomorrow's sunrise.

Gazing to the sky
      A dying star explodes
          Humbled eyes
accepting the beauty he bestowed

Rooted and intoxicated
                                        with love and light,
The Sun spreads her wings
                                        to warm this lonely night
A thousand voices uplifted in prayer

"There are not enough tears to tell you how i feel,
  yet my heart is an Eden and Heaven holds a place for you there"
Andy i miss you so much
Oct 2010 · 1.3k
Seduction of the Sandman
Nathaniel Oct 2010
Oh, Sweet Sleep
Why have you gone away?
Oh, how i miss
your kiss at the end of the day
Oh, lying in bed
you have nothing to say
Oh, you've forgotten
the place where i lay
Oh, come to me soon
Cause i am in disarray
Oct 2010 · 1.4k
Today.
Nathaniel Oct 2010
Today
**** Today
waking to the phone
gut wrenching words
breaking my knees
kiss the ground
bash the skull
saliva and snot
staining cement
conscious seizure
dress the wound
keep the keys
close to my heart
drive me there
smoke lingering
in the passenger seat
with the windows up
they cut him down
before i saw
garage door
never opens
any more
Sep 2010 · 767
Go Away, Please Don't Go
Nathaniel Sep 2010
Today my words ache
tomorrow the pain will still remain
years from now will i remember his face?
will that laugh lose its brilliance in time's embrace?
I choke down these tears cause my heart won't refrain
I cling to that love that still remains
sobering is the thought of death
yet seductive are the thoughts of its embrace
will these emotions stay with the body i escape
or will they chase me through this cosmic race?
does my soul have eyes?
will i still witness beauty?
Is there any in this earthly prison here?
colors have bled to gray
no more do i welcome the winds of sage
and conversation is better left to the birds
will i again yearn for a lover's embrace?
this shadow of numbness eternal as the sun's rays
I wish for sleep on this wreckage of a day
Sep 2010 · 542
Pretty Girl
Nathaniel Sep 2010
My head aches
from too many takes
the thought of you and i meeting
your soft lips
the sway of your hips
the way the clouds seem to clear away
we've never spoken
at least with gestures and tones
we pass notes under a table
unable to give up that fantasy
a vision i hold so dear to me
pretty girl, dark brown hair
pretty girl, with that diamond stare
eyes as deep as sunset oceans
like the landscape on fire
this abyss that i call my heart
Heaven holds a place for you there
Sep 2010 · 577
For my Brother's Children
Nathaniel Sep 2010
Believe in tomorrow, know that the Sun will rise to warm your face and feed your soul. Pray to the heavens because something divine guides the stars. Know that life is rare and special. Feel blessed that your soul was trapped even briefly in this earthly body. You've been given a gift be thankful and rejoice everyday you have. Know that others have come before and others will come after but you are here now to enact change and witness the beautiful unfold. The sunset bears witness that the world turns and is mother to all life. The father, Sun, comes and leaves daily to remind us all we have come and will someday leave but do not worry, it is all part of a divine plan. You are eternal and are here to write the history of the stars, living, breathing, and dying.
I wrote this for my niece and nephew after their father passed.
Sep 2010 · 1.4k
Warriors of our Rebellion
Nathaniel Sep 2010
At times in our lives we are despondent or on fire. Bless that fire, our rebellion, but the guerrillas have gone, moved on. The Warriors of our rebellion became fathers and remembered they were sons. The creed we held, hate, and that, that fueled it, pain, are nothing but nostalgia. We wade naked in our lake of melancholy. The Fire we danced around jaded and twisted to light the flame of another power hungry movement. And as history goes tribes turn to states, states to countries, until all is conquered in a mass of a cityless empire. And the guerrillas became an army serving the vision of a few good *******. Somewhere along the way what we fought for, why we destroyed ourselves gets **** on and covered up as another foolish idealistic blunder.
Sep 2010 · 868
2nd Floor Please
Nathaniel Sep 2010
******* screaming at sleeping babies
its the second floor of the maternity ward
and we all know it cause we've been there
It was just our own haptophobia
the place was bad like broken glass
cold and shaded in the winter embrace
we told ourselves we couldn't face
what was within those doors
so we let them scream and magnify
till it had stopped and life had died
Sep 2010 · 923
I'll never tell
Nathaniel Sep 2010
Eat the button on my Shirt
*******
Forget the demons in polyester suits
The ones with liquid paper
spiraling down the empty well
take a moment
just a moment
and never drink and tell
eat cheese and crackers
and talk about caviar
sail on a row boat
and try to hold your breath
as the water spills over the tub
but never ever
drink and tell
a razor is just a razor
till someone has a bad day
a camel is just a camel
till the desert is starved of rain
I never thought about him
till the bottom of a bottle
i'll never whisper with a drink
and i'll never drink and tell
bottle caps and plastic wrap
little legos across the floor
pillows that aren't just pillows
but clouds in the misty air
a glass of water a bottle of *****
and a strange pickle smell
i swear to god
That i'll never drink and tell
a question is a question
a tear is not a free pass
and i just can't choke them down
these buttons beneath my chest hair
I promise i swear
that i'll never ever again
drink and tell...
Verbal *****

— The End —