Ever ******* up?
Ever made a mistake?
Hey listen,
We all play that game.


Something slipped out,
Did the wrong thing.
That's okay,
We all play the game.


The game of being human,
Of living life in haste
The game of being impulsive,
And making mistakes every day.


So don't get down,
By mistakes upon you.
'Cause I know,
You’ve done it too.


So please forgive me
If I do wrong to you.
For when it’s my turn.
For the favor to be returned
It’ll be okay
It’ll work out someday.

Feel the rhythm
Feel the rhume c’mon y’all
It’s healing time

Let the beat
Touch your soul
Grease up those joints
And get ready to roll

Have that bass
Rock your world
To where the feelings lost
And love endures

Let the music move you
Till your body rocks and head spins
Let its powers touch you
So its healing can begin

Reminiscing
Nature’s way of showing
Those old-timey memories

Your first true love
Your first heartbreak
Your third-grade strait As
Your ninth grade strait Ds
Reminiscing
Those old-timey memories

The picture is terrible
All faded and stained
The sound is choppy
And voices drained

But yet we long to be transported
Back to those old times
So we relive the past
Or get on track

Reminiscing
Nature’s way of showing
You are who you are
So don’t long to change the past

Reminiscing
Nature’s way of showing
Those old-timey memories

Your first true love
Your first heartbreak
Your third-grade strait As
Your ninth grade strait Ds
Reminiscing
Those old-timey memories

The picture is terrible
All faded and stained
The sound is choppy
And voices drained

But yet we long to be transported
Back to those old times
So we relive the past
Or get on track

Reminiscing
Nature’s way of showing
You are who you are
So don’t long to change the past

They tested the one so true,
They test me and you.
Speakers of two-faced statements
Changing their views every second
With the serpent’s sly tongue
And the fox’s slick movements
They sway the populous
With shifting statements,
That just blow my mind away.

I still owe you proof
Of why you are amazing
But I didn’t want to sound too stupid
Or too crazy
Or utter cliché things
That wouldn’t cause you to move

Here is why you’re amazing
Because you saved a boy’s life
Both inside and out
You loved this demon
When it didn’t deserve love
You mended its scars
As soon as they were cut

Because of you
A scared little boy’s shell
Wasn’t shattered apart,
Just slowly chipped
Till the rest fell apart

You brought a smile
To a lonely nerd
You took his hand
When he was used to air
You lay on his shoulder
And made him stiffen like Medusa’s stare
And gave him a journal
That he filled with his despair

You are an angel
Because you love
You love Mom
You love Dad
You love my siblings
And you love nature
You caused me to grow
And love those I didn’t really know
Loulou
Will
Aunt Ginger
Jesus, God

You are outstanding
Because you care
About friends
And strangers
You sacrifice yourself
For others to be happy
You put yourself towards the bottom
So others can feel the top

You are amazing
Because you made a loner loser
Keep a jar
Of bubble soap
To blow away is pain
And hope to share with his princess one day

You’ve made a child
Who hasn’t cried in years
Bawl at the thought
That you wouldn’t be near
Or that he caused our tears

You’ve caused an arrogant gent
To stop and think
On whether it was time to grow up
Or lose his love
To stop and stare
At the road ahead
And the consequences of the path he led

You have known this “knight”
Who wears a tattered worn
Gym school uniform
And gave him hope
That he wouldn’t grow old alone

You met a child
In 2009
Whom you’ve help mold
Almost a third of his life
Into a man
Who he is proud of today

I know this is long
And it’s time for bed
But I couldn’t go another day
Without telling you the way
On which you have changed forever
The heart and mind
Of my person and my life
You are gorgeous
You are intelligent
You are stunning
But most of all
What I love over all
Is the fact that I have
The privilege to state the fact
That I love you
And that you are
Absolutely
Perfectly
Hands down
The most
Amazing person
That has ever
Entered my life

The way is blocked
Hurting only you
You can still help others
But your creativity stopped
You have Creative Constipation
And there is one way to make it stop

Face your fears
Try something new
Make a memory
Get scraped a few
Take a Creative Laxative
Get those juices flowing again

Then you’ll have
Creative Diarrhea
Ideas flowing forth
In the forms
Of line or verse
Movie or paint
Everything you see
Will be touched
By your creative spree

When the moon is full
And I squint just a bit
It forms a dove
That brings much bliss
When depression grips

Well this is great
My pre-mature heartbreak
But at least now I see
We are never going to be

I thought after once
I would learn to stay away
But then we started talking
And I knew I couldn’t stay

I tried to get you back
Back to our old standings
Then you dropped
That small-mighty phrase

But it’ll be ok
My heart’s hidden away
Wearing its duct tape mask
Feeling the same pain

So now I see
Pre-maturely
Now I see
I can’t give up on we

Twinkle twinkle little star
How I wonder why you are
Oh so very shy

You always run to hide
Only to show your face
Turn beet red with shame
And then run away

Even all of your siblings
Do exactly the same
In that wide open field

Why don't you get my signal
For me to make my wish
Why are you so selfish?

What does it take
To be your man
Six packs abs
And dark gold skin?

What if all I have
Is taped up glasses
And a face full of zits?

Do you prefer
The dark and danger
Or sensitive and pure?

What about
Nerdy and weird
Or awkward with a side of fear

What’s it take
To be your man
My arms are stretched
Will you take my hand?

Standing on the devil's spine
Looking out on the abyss
Of lost green souls caught on brown pikes
Thinking of what would happen
If I joined their ranks
Then I notice
I am falling
Looking at the head
Of the devil himself
Grinning at his new soldier
As I look
Upon my soul's decent
I cherish the freedom
Of that falling sinner
For it's time to start over
And finish the walk across

A twirl of color
A flash of light
A series of masks
It's masquerade night

Full of laughter
Full of fright
It's never ending
Masquerade night

No one is who
You know to be
Everyone's hiding
Their pain in glee

Behind those masks
Are true peoples cares
But hey who cares
Its masquerade night

Criss, cross,
Applesauce
The class sat
Watching me run
Watching me play
Not advising me to sit down
Just waiting for the teacher
Because they aren't worried
about my hide
They want a free show
As the teachers hands let go
For they were more worried
About being entertained
Than my now tanned hide

Full of substance
Packed in a hard shell
As the heat of life
Is applied
The pressure builds
You start to expand
On the verge of breaking
Then all the sudden it grows dark
As people put a lid over you and forget about you
Then you pop and everyone crowds around you
Not  to help but to eat you like piranhas
While they enjoy the entertainment

Full of substance
Packed in a hard shell
As the heat of life
Is applied
The pressure builds
You start to expand
On the verge of breaking
Then all the sudden it grows dark
As people put a lid over you and forget about you
Then you pop and everyone crowds around you
But not to help but to eat you like piranhas
While they enjoy the entertainment

What do you see
When you see a dead tree
Do you leave it be
Or pray and see

If you leave it be
Here’s the thinking key
You’re abandoning
A poor helpless tree

But if you pray and see
And tend to the tree
It’ll not only grow
But bear fruit
And you can continue on your way

But it is up to you
Which road to choose
But here’s a pondering thought
Is not life worth saving?

Ode to my blanket
All tattered and torn
To inndards so thin
And falling all out
To covering me up
Since I was six

This torn up old blanket
Toy Story based
Is Woody on one side
nd Buzz on the other.
Woody side up
Was always the best
It became the running joke
Even to today
That joke runs most


The blanket so old
If it could talk
such stories would be told
From forts in the living room
And fear in my bed
Joys with my family
To sadness alone

The blanket so aged
Has been there all days
When I was alone
It made things ok

Even to today
This blanket still covers me
In all my confusion
And insecurities
But this blanket one day
Will retire
Till it's Woody side up
On my funeral pyre

Minds are like DVDs,
Menus .on replay.
They’re supposed to show the happy parts,
But mine just ruin the day.

Mine’s replay scenes of dread,
Of the ones I loathe and hate.
It replays scenes of pain,
The pain I helped create.

Watch me today
As my mind is torturing me,
With scenes of lust and lacking faith
Making me wish I could run away

I wish I could turn of the TV,
Replace the DVD
So I can be rid of this torment,
And these blackening scenes

Oh awake ye child with starry-teared eyes
Awake to find ye’s torment is over
Thy oppression is over
Thee is set free

Free to frolick
Free to play
Free to wipe
Thine tears away

Don’t entertain memories
Of thy betraying parents
For their place has been saved
In not this bliss
But they shall pay
Tenfolds the pain

Hark! Look ahead
Ye clean, smiling babe
For in the light there be
A new set of parents
Come to smother with love
And mend the tears
Of the scarred up heart
And the crying babe

I thought we were over
You went on by
And if only you knew
I still love you inside

You left me to cry
On that cold day
You left me to die
And went away

I see you at school
See you at the mall
When I see you flirt with them
I try not to bawl

I always wonder
What to do
If I can’t find
Someone like you

What did I do?
To lose you
Or did you choose to?
To let me go
And leave me ‘lone
In the only place
I can call home
I would give anything
To get you here
So I can wipe your tears
And take your fears

When you’re with them
I hope you see
This is the creature
You made me

This creature of sorrow
This creature of hate
This creature of pain
This creature won’t go away

I want it out
Of my head
So I can go on
And not dread

Dread on the life
That we had why I can’t
Get over the past
I should move on
Move away
So I don’t
Throw my life away
Look forward
Go headstrong
I know God
Will lead me on

And when he gives me
The one so true
They will lift me
From solitude

Then one day
I’ll look back
And wonder why
I am happy inside

Then I realize
If not for you
I couldn’t have risen
From my solitude

So I call you up
Catch up with you
Then at the end I say
“Thank-you”

What ever happened
To childhood’s play?
When you were considered innocent
Every day

What happens you turn teen?
That makes you crave ***
Either for real
Or on a screen

What will happen when you become an adult?
With a family of your own
And you get into a funk
And the cause is unknown.

And then it’s blamed with sin,
But sin is what became
Because you didn’t know how to handle it
And were afraid people would turn away

Little tiny beads
Vibrating in space
Connecting us all together
Like loving mates

Little tiny beads
Zillions of years old
Came from a start
That was growing old

Little tiny beads
The children of old starts
Came together
To form who we are

Little tiny beads
Connecting us all
Giving us a ****
Unthinkable ages old

Don't shoot for perfection
For you'll certainly miss
Let perfection fall into place
Because what isn't known
Will bring the most bliss

Shielf yorself
From others hate
For those arrows are sharp
And always penetrate
Even through the adrenaline
You might not feel it
But the wound is there
Pussing and peeling
Shield yourself
From enemies hatae
For it's not worth
The furure pain

Words to brighten your day:
Remeber you're special
In you're own way

Reality
The Sherlock Holmes
Of the imaginative world
Finding our secrets
Solving the case shedding the light
And bleaching dyes

Romance
The keeper os secrets
In the imaginative world
Hiding eyes
Whispering lies
Casting shadows
And dyeing blinds

The cat and mouse game
Goes on forever
Between two lovers
Till the weasel is popped
Romance is stopped
And Reality reveals
What Romance concealed

I will not be **** on,
I will be the ****
In this world of peoples judgments
And conforming to fit

Call me a loser
Call me a *****
‘Cause I’m the one standing tall
When you’re holding a tin can …
Begging for tips

The power of love
Is a burning crusade
Started in a heart
That is ablaze
Burning with passion
For the sharing of lovers' days
The roads are tough
But together they move on
The mountains are high
But their arms are strong
Life's never easy
But together they know
That they'll find paradise

Plentiful emptiness
All around me
Plentiful emptiness
As far as the eye can see

It’s a loving malice
That we humans share
A loving malice
That leaves us naked and bare

This joyful evil
That we cast upon each other
This joyful evil
That turns lovers into fighters

Happy death
When we leave this word
Happy death
It’s not what we deserve

Government
People
Work
Or games
We are all a slave
A slave to something

Whether we be chained to a desk
Or chained to a wall
Glued to a keyboard
Or let the government make the calls
We are all slaves

What slaves don’t see
Is that there be
Many ways for us to get free

Whether it’s faking a cough
And making a call,
Whether it’s shutting off.
Or taking freedom for a walk

Cause you can be free
Slavery is a state of mind
That is all

Laying here awake
Queen stuck in my head
Shouting the anthem
Don't stop me now

Laying here in bed
Wishing you were near
But I guess I'll just smile
And remember the days we've done

Relaxing here giggling
Over things I've done in my past
Over things I wish to do with you
It's kinda silly
A plastic card separates us

Relaxing here dreaming
Of the day I reach over
And pull you close
And fall asleep
With the scent of you in my face

The pen is mightier than the sword
But how can that be?
The sword can **** a writer like me

But the pen can do things
Like stop an army in its tracks
Bring an empire to its knees,
It can even say something simple
Like a message of glee

But there is one weapon
Greater than both
We are taught to use it young
And with it more people are stung
Our voice

The voice of a martyr
One of the strongest there is
It echoes and rings
Like a resounding disc

Wind
What if wind
Isn’t wind?
It’s actually our ancestors
Whispering in

Like a breeze
Isn’t a breeze
It’s their calming voice
Guiding

Or a storm
Isn’t a storm
The torment is their anger
Followed by their tears

Our ancestor’s voice
Running through the air
It’s lovely to listen to
If we just stop and hear

You’re chains feel heavy
You’re will is beat
You let your enemies
Call you weak

You trap yourself in a corner
You claim that you are free
Then you draw up imaginary borders
Claiming you can’t leave

You’ve been handed a life raft
But refuse to use it
You’d rather drown on this path
Than admit you can’t do it

You keep breaking the hearts
Of those close to you
Those who have been with you from the start
Don’t know how much longer they can stay with you

They say don’t pity the dead
For the dead are out of life’s pain
But the dead also
Are out of life’s gain
Out of the history being made
Out of making their name
So yes they might be living in comfort
But no pain,
No gain

Do people really like me for me,
Or is it just out of pity?
The rejects pity
For being smart,
Fat,
Handicapped.
Is their sympathy real,
Or is it synthetic love because Im abnormal?

Do people really like my art
Because it moves them,
Or because I have terminal cancer?

You know I say,
“Be honest, be brutal, tell me the truth,”
But all I get is lies.
And Im tired of it
Tired of this ****
Exhausted of carrying this false motivation
Worn down by all this cheering
When its undeserved

So please don’t look at me
But in me
Don’t look at my stub of an arm,
Or dent in my nose
Look at my soul
Which I spill for you
On this cheap paper
So everyone can receive
What I spree

Vis medicatric naturae
The healing of the mother
She knows the best medicine
From the dirt she heals

We don’t understand her healing techniques
But vis medicatrix naturae is impossible to beat

We might not think she’s right
When she takes away our loved
But what is giveth
Is taketh away

Vix medicatric naturae
The healing of nature
Mother knows best
Let her find the cure

You know you're hot
I mean you're smokin'
There ain't nothing you not got
While I'm sitting here tokin.
While I'm on this trip
You've got the nicest eyes,
But the greatest hips.
Man girl, do you even try?
I can[t wait till you dance
So I can come join you
Your perfect beauty put me in a trance
While my heart you slew
But wen I come off this journey
All I've said is BS; baloney

Your long blonde curls
The Labyrinth my hands can't wait
To travel through to find your waist
As we start to unfurl

Your soft pale hands
Sensually finding their way to mine.
Making my wrist lose track of time
If only  could have been a man

For those dreams happened in my head
Because I was more scared
For the actual love we shared

I'm glad those days are dead
Well, almost there
Because I want you to be mine, never to share

Ground cracking
Earth quaking
You try to seal
But keep on breaking

You wonder why
We cover our lies
Then we cry
And those lies multiply

But when we unearth
The truth so cold
We bury it again
And cleans out soul

Then we go out
Spreading lies like disease
Thinking that
The world will be free

But if you continue
In your ways
I promise you
You will never see
The world be free

Have you ever
Had a dream?
Well take it from me
We all have dreams

We all want to fly
Reach up and touch the sky,
We all want to see
What others think.
Take it from me
We all have dreams


It may be big
Like a skyscraper tall.
It may be small
Like a mouse’s paw


No matter how big
No matter how small
It’s not insignificant
Not at all.
So take from me
We all have dreams

The flashbacks keep coming
The more I tell myself, "Shut up Nathan"
The more I look like a maniac,
The more I struggle to live.

With the constant twitching
With the mental pains
With the memories of
my constant desires
Its driving me insane

Music to my Eyes: Caledonia
Let me tell you that I love you
That I think about you all the time
When I’m down and dreaming nightmares
You in my arms, the best joy I find
But if our love becomes endangered
And I become only a stranger
I will love you
Till the world dies
In holy fire

On that day
What will you do?
When you meet your Lord
For round two

And you find out
What your thoughts told you
About the Lord
Are not even true

And you will realize
That what you do
In the Lord’s eyes
Cannot be denied
So on that day
What will you do?
When the Lord
Calls upon you?

You see the book
In the air
And wonder,
“Is my name in there?’

Here my word
Prepare for the day
So you don’t have to wonder
And God won’t keep you away

Let me be honest
For just one second
My brain is torturing me
My heart is aching

I need help
And I need it fast
My mind is stuck
On my memories of my addiction
I see those ladies every night
While I scream in my head

I have a razor blade close to my bed
And I struggle every night
To keep it from turning red

I don’t really like my family
Especially the one I call my bro
I sometimes want to go
Only to and never fro

I keep trying to live
But my heart is cold
I want someone to hold
But the love has grown cold

You don’t know how much it helps
To put this all out
And hopefully soon
I can get some rest
Then I can give you all
My very best

What do you think
When you see that woman on the screen
Do you think man that’s hot
Or ugh let’s not

It’s good if you say
Ugh let’s not
Because man that’s hot
Leaves your brain to rot

And man that’s hot
Makes your family distraught
And make you think of women
As an object
To be thrown away on the spot

If you’re ugh let’s not
And move to another plot
Spend life without an addiction
Ripping you apart
Then
You can love with all your heart

They always say
The good die young
I wonder why
This isn’t a lie
Because when kids die
They are pure inside

But when they die
We wonder
Why is the world cruel and evil all the time?


That’s because when we see
Someone try to plant a seed
We just leave him be
But when we see that seed sprout
We run over to stamp it down


But if that person builds a fire
We don’t try to douse it with water
We wait till it spreads
Then turn him into
Cannon fodder
And run him out of town
Hunt him down
Open him up
Or let him drown

So please rethink
When you say the good are weak
They are some of the strongest people
You’ll ever meet
They stand
When people want them to fall
They stand tall through it all


So please rethink
When you say is weak
'cause just remember
They stand on solid feet

We all know the tale of Romeo and Juliet
The greatest tale of love and death
But we don’t know the tale is repeating
In the twenty-first century

The youth of the day
Act out this play
Like a dog’s tail
Being chased all day

Like when two strangers meet
On the dance floor
But they know they can’t be
Because of their tree

Because the love in this tale
Is a type of unique
For it is a forbidden love
Not able to be free

It’s a love of secrets
But a love still
Love at strong as stubborn will

Pain is rain in the night
Hiding your tears from those in sight
From the lonely abuse
To the mental heights
Pain is rain in the night

Pain from those
Who have long since gone
And those who are left
Don’t care or bother at all

But loves first steps
Take the pain away
And the wind picks up
And sweeps you away

Then you start at the beginning
Of an unknown road
Hand in hand
With the one who filled the hole

It’s a creepy mist
That hides your sight
But through the pain
Creates a light
So you can see through
The pain in the night