4/15/2013
It's been such a long time,
Since I held your hand in mine.
So many years have passed,
Since that night in the grass.
I remember it so clearly,
And I hold on to it dearly.
The beginning of the end,
The source of my heart to rend.
The silence of night remained unbroken,
As you handed me a token,
Something to remember you by,
As though you knew we had to fly.
The moon shone but just a sliver,
And though warm, I felt a shiver.
As our bare feet crossed the dirt,
To the beat of mother earth.
Beneath the stars our resting place,
Where we gazed up into space.
Where I whispered it for the first time,
Those few words to make you mine.
And in that instant my world changed,
When you whispered words the same.
My hand found yours and then our lips,
My heart and soul both doing flips.
I couldn't believe this was reality,
It seemed as though some fantasy.
Something like one of those dreams,
Where the details begin to burst through the seams.
But no, this could be no dream,
This was you and this was me.
The consumation of such a love,
The kind that only stories tell of.
For hours there we were happy,
Alone in the field as we could be.
Your head on my heart, the steady drum,
And I listened to yours, the timid one.
The gentle breeze caressed your scent,
As the clear skies denied a tent.
The thick fescue was soft as down,
Your jean shorts made the best night gown.
You fell asleep fingers in mine,
And I lay awake for the longest time.
Peaceful bliss, no doubts did spoil,
As I rested my head upon the soil.
It was the first, but not the last,
By far the best we spent in that grass.
I'll never forget, nor do I want to,
Because that is the night I knew that I loved you.
Now it has been such a long time,
Since I held your hand in mine.
I struggle to recall how your fingers felt,
And to remember how my heart would melt.
But now we smile when we pass by,
I know you remember it, under the sky.
Your friend told me you talk in your sleep,
Sometimes revealing a subconscious so deep.
She said your eyes, they filled with tears,
As you were attacked by regrets and fears.
Your whispered callings, revealing my name,
The sad teary silence, when I never came.
She said my picture is under your pillow,
It's the one of us both, under the willows.
What I couldn't say, I have it too,
Beside my bed, reminding of you.
I couldn't tell her, I wake up in a sweat,
Heaving and cold, with dreams of regret.
Couldn't say how my thoughts are ridden,
And my lonesomeness is all but hidden.
I know it was hard, believe me, I do.
For years now I've thought this through.
The plan we made, it was all I had,
Sometimes it kept me from going mad.
Four years seemed as though forever,
But not so long if it would bring us together.
I worked so hard, so many sacrifices,
Did everything possible with human devices.
Now the years have finally passed,
And so it seems, has the contrast.
Murphy's law has kept as apart,
Distance forever the bane of our hearts.
I just want you to know, I'll be where I promised.
I made the grades, I made the "A" list.
You did too, but circumstance kills,
You'll be in the flats while I'm in the hills.
You were right to hand me that token,
It hangs on my neck, still unbroken.
I have no plans to remove it soon,
I'll be wearing it when I fly to the moon.
I'll never forget you, and I hope you not I,
But I wish your dreams wouldn't make you cry.
So smile for me, though years have passed,
Tell me you remember that night in the grass.
Have no regrets, don't wish it away,
That it never happened, I'll never say.
I won't forget it, nor do I want to,
That is the night I knew that I loved you.