I'm still surprised sometimes
By how alone I can still feel
Even when I'm surrounded by people who care
I catch myself wearing a fake smile around
So no one knows the face hidden beneath the mask
And that is why I'm alone
Because no one really knows what's going on
Even when I try to explain
I never feel satisfied that I succeeded
Sometimes
It's just me and my poetry

I've questioned what being in love was
Multiple times
Asking why does she mean this to me?

I'm caught between reality and feelings
Trying to decide if I should fight
Should I believe
In the possibilities?

Love is always a possible thing
We should all love a little bit more
But when it comes to a special person
It becomes a real and very serious
Question

For instance
I see that you like me while I'm happy and at my best
But I need to know
Can you handle me when I'm low and at my worst?

So based on what you've told me
You have baggage
You know what?
I do too

Can you bear my burden?
If I help you bear yours?
Am I worth your patience?
Your understanding
Your moment to consider
To take time to fully appreciate my worth?

All these questions, but things take time
Trust isn't something to be given away
I am just as unsure as you

Love is
Wanting someone to find happiness
With or without you

My greatest strength
Was that you underestimated me
You left your guard down
And I came in with my all
You forgot
The bigger you are
The harder you fall

When I was young
When I was small
The problems of the world didn't phase me at all

Small in stature
And in understanding
Wanting to be an adult
Then my life would be of my planning

The adults said, "Enjoy being a child while you still can!"
"Because time goes by fast and one day you will be a man."
Not realizing how short that time really was
I shook my head and didn't listen just because

I just didn't get it as a little person
That life really was easier as a child
Free to be free
Growing like a flower wild

The day of becoming a man
Came and went long ago
Lost was the sense of home and comfort
Once the weight of the world fell upon my shoulders

I now tell my son,
"Enjoy being a child while you still can!"
"Because time goes by fast and one day you will be a man."
He smiles and shakes his head
"You're probably right.  Okay dad."
And for that,
I'm glad

Such a mess sometimes
This thing we call life

When you realize so many things have gone wrong
And things have gotten to this point
Far from the original plan
You had
From the beginning when you were young
Carefree and innocent of life's harsh realities

Life made plans for you otherwise
And now, here you are

"That's life" people most likely said
They also probably told you to move on
Or some **** like that

But you can still keep working on
Finding your way back to
Getting your life back on that path
You want to walk

When I needed words of encouragement
I came to you, vulnerable and broken
Instead of lifting me up
You cut me down
Your words were like a razor-blade had spoken

When I looked to you for guidance
I came to you, open mind and open heart
Instead of showing me the way
You snapped at me
Your words were the teeth of a shark

When I really needed someone to be there
I came to you, so I didn't feel so alone
Instead of being someone to lean on for support
You let me fall
Your words were like rocks thown

I had been alone the entire time
You had been by my side

When I needed you the most
You abandoned me

Left to figure it out on my own
It didn't take long
Before I knew I was better off
Without your negativity in my life

But I now know
I need to take more time
Before making a woman my wife!