The scars in my chest
The tears in my eyes
The ache in my soul
The sadness in my mind
Why being so young do I feel so tired?
Maybe my life isn't what I wanted.

Does the little girl inside of me is still alive?
Deep inside she cries
She feels trapped and lonely
She is scared of the dark
But the one inside of herself.

But don't worry little angel
Soon you will be fine
This will all end
And you will be soaring in flight
With other little angels
Of the lost children who lost their mind.

I kissed him intentionally
to bruise him
I wanted my scent to seep into
his skin
as he departed the morning after
I wanted him to remember me
like he selfishly
left his blackened odor all over
my body

I reeked of him

And every time I tried to scrub
this false love and empty
memories
off the walls of my skin
the thought of his touch
has all these feelings rushing back

Years ago when you said that forever didn't exist, I should have listened and realized that it was a warning sign.
I should have known that you were never interested in long lasting and that you were only interested in the easy ****.
I pretended that I didn't want what little girls dream about to make you happy.
When I felt the quickening in my belly, I wept.  
The tears that ran down my pale cheeks were not of joy, but of sheer pain  due to the truth you would later spit at me. No love.
It's a good thing our blood was not compatible. Biology can be a wonderful thing.

2 years were spent in the deep, the 4 years following were spent staring at one another, wondering where we had gone.
When you looked at me before the holiday and said that you had given up on me, even though my eyes were swollen red, relief had washed over my body.
I never told you that I finally felt like I could stop pretending.
I stopped.

You took the cat and ran like a scared little boy.
I miss the animal.

Do I regret the 6 years I spent mothering you?  No.  
You taught me what to look for in a real man and that is everything you were not.
It took me 3 weeks to realize that I was better.

So, I guess I should say "thank you" for the gift you gave me the day you left.
I appreciate it.

Happy one year break up, Baby!