whispers of sweet nothings in her ear
kind words with air being blown
breath, moist and warm
lingers on her collarbone

soft tongue caress
the warm flesh of her clavicle
and cool fingers undress
removing the last article
  of clothing

mouth meets salty sweat, and
lips trace her silhouette

the day your lips greeted mine
the time my fist grazed your chest
the instances where my tears rolled off my cheeks
the lies rolled off my tongue
the infidelity
the abuse
the dependency

you extra fry in the bottom of the bag you sleeping in on a tuesday morning you good hair day you all night drinking with no hangover you warm towel straight from the dryer you new friend in the back of a new york taxi cab you misinterpreted abstract art you lost concert ticket you frost bitten fingertip you half dranken water bottle you misspelled word you unwanted bouquet on valentines day you deadline yesterday you uncashed check you college rejection you cannibalistic praying mantis you paper cut from an envelope  you coup de tat you cat got your tongue you swallowed words you split lip you straggly strand of split ends you broken vase you five missed calls you broken necklace clasp you half hearted apology

not blue, not green
o, nothing loud
not pink, not red
gray
mo·not·o·nous
simple, relaxing
the color of rain clouds
and sleeping in
on a tuesday morning
and the cool breeze
of a lake in january
and the smell of pavement
after it rains

n.d.

in your backyard
slaying dragons
with a twig for a sword
the worst pain i knew:
   a splinter.
in my driveway
playing hopscotch,
hide-and-seek, tag-you're-it
the worst pain i knew:
   a scraped knee
in our own rooms
in our own beds
texting other people
the worst pain i know:
   missing you

n.d.

and i've showered four times today
    already
and i wish i knew why
i cannot scrub off shame
and disgust
and all other filth
like i would if it were dirt.

n.d.