lies heavy upon me

in the mashed potatoes to my left
the beer on my right

the "if onlys"
and
"what ifs"
that weigh on my heart

the
"i'll get up and run!"
followed by
"****, i'm too tired."

the
"help me,
come to this,
i need you,
don't forget the early meeting,
we need you,
come over here now,
help me."

step by step by step by step by step by step

the day progresses

and ends in a
beer to my right
mashed potatoes to my left

i will always run

tomorrow.

i feel confident
state my opinion
stand my ground

then, defeated,
i wonder
did i imagine it all?
i feel crazy

life is most comfortable
assuming
and
embracing

the fact that i am most often
wrong

Drunken

Decisions

Destroy

Days

You have to stop
Drinking
Eating
Being tired

Don't be so emotional

Lose weight
Smile more
Work harder
Stop being like this

(Can't you just)
be better

Constant
Consuming all thought

Everywhere

"I won't give in!"

And then,
I do

"Say what you mean!"
But when I say it,
you respond with,
"But you shouldn't feel
that way."

Feel
But Don't

Say it
But Don't

if you could
S.T.O.P.
feeling the WRONG way
in the first place

"We wouldn't be having this
conversation."

Every day
EVERY
DAY

My day
embodies
insanity

I go to sleep
thinking
(hoping, wishing
promising?
{lying}
hoping)

That tomorrow
(today)
I'll be better

I'll be different

My days will start
with coffee
(only coffee)

I will skip the
vices
that call to me

That tell me
you want this
(you need us)

We will not let you
survive
without us

You must
You
must

Imbibe

You chose us

And now
there is no
escape

Welcome to
your
life.

This is your choice.