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Nat May 2013
What happens when
I have no
new
ideas?

Is it
possible?

Or have I lost
faith
in my own
feelings,
my own
thoughts?

Life
baffles me
constantly.

Why?
Nat May 2013
just want

to kiss
you

and hug
you

and be with
you

Always

You
light up my
World
Nat May 2013
Wake
(and bake)

Wake
and partake

of drugs,
of alcohol,

but of life?

No way
Nat May 2013
Why
I see things
Happen
every day

And these days
all that runs through my
Mind

is

Why?
Nat May 2013
Imagine
Create
Look at the world with
Wonder
Believe
Trust

Then,
Insults
Rejection
Confusion
Why?

­Attempt
Friendship
Acceptance
Happiness

Encounter
Insults
Rejection
Confusion
Reality
Why?

Attempt
Attempt
Attempt

Failure

Depression­
Drugs
Alcohol
Anxiety

Attempt
Death
Encounter
Failure

Again and
Again and
Again

Re-evaluate
Consider
a Future

Try
Try
Again
Nat May 2013
I knew you
or knew of
you

I almost
knew you
I suppose

But I didn't get
the chance.
I'm not sure if
the chance
was offered
or not.

I don't know if
I could have been
your friend,
a confidant,
(your savior?)
I don't know that
I could have
helped.

But maybe...
I could have
said something,
done something,
simply sat in your
presence
until you felt

like existance was
managable.
Until you felt
worthy,
valued,
realized your importance.

Until you felt
like you could
stay.
(God, how I
wish you had
stayed)

But before I got the chance...

You put that gun to your  head.

You put that noose around your neck.

You put that knife to your wrist.

You took one or two pills,
too many.

You left me here.

ALL of you,
(even if I never knew you)
left me here,
and I'll never know if
I could have

Helped

If I could have
helped make it
okay,
manageable,
real,
made you feel loved.
(because I would have loved you)

But I want you to know...

I wanted to.
Nat May 2013
Life

Ideas
put down

Thoughts
smashed
rejected

People
humiliated
insulted
thrown away

We are like
Ideas
Constantly changing
always encountering
Opposition
Rejection
Degredation.

I hope things
change

but I don't
know
that I
believe
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