“The view of a man that lost his whole world in one night, now he wakes everyday knowing he won’t see her laying by his side. Until time joins them back together, he is only left with the memories and the pain he hides inside.”



“The unspoken words I could never say, now it is too late. You lay in your peaceful bed, but you’re not awake; you remain dead. I can’t get you out of my head. Even though you lay to rest, this is not the end, just the beginning of a new start, until we meet again.”



I hold a picture of you in my hands; your memories in my heart

Bow my head realizing I am falling apart.

I hide my emotions behind close doors, too ashamed to face the world.

I ripe my tears as I leave my room,

But the anger and pain keeps on showing through.

Still pushing through everyday thinking about you;

How long can I stay this way, before I decide to go too?

I stand before your coffin as it opens wide.

I close my eyes and your spirit comes alive;

Holding on to everything I thought I’d never lose.

Then the light reopens and it all fades away;

The walls begin to shake.

Then I am back in my room.

Staring at another dosage, a drug I over use,

I lay back in my bed, everything spinning in my head.

And I am back in my happy place;

Where I try to escape

My dreams scurry faster,

Of everything I once said.

Then it is finally over.

I lean in to kiss you;

As I watch you lay to rest.

I walk away with burden on my shoulders;

Not expecting to say good-bye forever.

Trying not to cry and blow my cover;

For I must stay strong, though I do not know how much longer,

Who do I turn to?

Would anyone understand?

The pain of losing someone, you’ll never see again.

Does anybody feel this way?

Do they ever feel regret?

Knowing they had the chance to say “I lover you”,

To someone who was more than just a friend.

Now I live everyday with you underneath my feet;

With a gravestone reading “Remember me not as I am now, but as I use to be”.

Then I fall to my knees, and my heart shatters to the ground;

My soul is still lost,

Is anyone around?

Can they slowly lift me up?

Give me the strength to stand and the will not to give up.

How far do I have to go on this lonely road?

Searching for the answers to lead me back home,

It’s so different without you here,

I use to laugh without being scared.

Now I struggle with every battle closing in on fear.

Voices screaming louder, they surround me everywhere.

It’s hard to run away from a face you use to see everyday;

Now I shut my door, the sun is going down;

Another day has passed that your soul lays to rest.

My tears are finally dry;

Then I shut my eyes, to be where you are.

Our time is endless now;

I’m forever by your side.

A heart beat, so soft and sweet.

The red rose grew, for thee eyes to seep through.

The love thy felt, no words could tell;

For underneath the disguise lies beauty that hides.


A gentle touch, deceives much,

For thee to speak, confusion emotions make thy weak.

Heart ache not for pain, but mystical devotions scream thy name.

Endeavoring to be stole thy strength,

Inquiring what is real, correlating to what is fake.

Feeling condemned in one’s life, scavenging for more time

No more time to think, for this thy see;

Thy judgment will soon be received.

Though vow I looked upon, I once held in my arms;

But now it devoured, clock ticks another hour.

Thy sin remained, pour down the rain.

I can’t recant what thy tongue divulges;

So forgive thee, seize thy all.

For thee don’t obtain much;

Thy apologetics are just simple words, a prayer.

Though thy not worthy I call upon,

One that makes thee forgives, forget

Even the little things that hold thy pain back.

Uncommitted to do what’s right, just what’s wrong to thee eye.

Thy depleted all I could, nothing left for thee;

So let thee be.

Here thy am crying,

Wondering why, when they only going to die.

God hear my cry,

As I bow my head tonight;

I pray that you lift me up and take the pain from inside.

How can I carry on, when I feel I don’t belong?


Only you know the truth, behind it all.

I’ve tried all I could, yet nothing had change;

Where do I go from here?

If I fall to my knees would you bring me to a stand?

God give me the strength that I never had

There’s something that’s running through my mind,

It’s tearing me up.

It’s an emotion that I can no longer hold;

A fear that keeps me up.


It’s a feeling that’s so strong;

Something that I had desire,

Confusion that mends all I’ve known.

Hunger that frees the heart,

A light to guide my way,

A journey to discover that leaves behind everything.

Even the burden that peels away my pain;

Even the feeling that makes you feel shame.

An inner meaning that’s so hard to say;

Only if it comes from the heart,

It will set forth a new day.

To be forgiven means to start new;

So I’ll leave what’s not meant for the future,

And forgive you.

My past I can’t let go;

All the lies that nobody knows,

All the secrets that I keep

There are no words to speak.


My whole life has been a lie.

A lie that I can no longer deny,

So I come to this point hoping there is still a reason to live.

So I claim to be a lost soul,

Trying to reach out

Finding the piece that makes me whole,

Feeling the tears run down my eyes.

Watching the days just pass me by;

Hoping one day I can spread my wings and fly.

The day I sleep away, the night I stay awake;

Hoping to find a way to turn my life around,

My weakness carries on, but I am letting it get too strong.

It feels like I am losing control. All I want to do is let everything go.

But at the end I’m still a lost soul.

A lost soul

Trying to reach out

Finding the piece that makes me whole,

So I still wonder if I can break the chains;

So I can be free and fly away.

To a place where I can mend the pieces of my broken heart,

So all day long I sleep away and all night I will stay awake.

Hoping to find a way

But until then I am still a lost soul;

As I wait for my love to make me whole

My heart can only take so much pain

That I won’t talk about.

My eyes can only bring so many tears,

Then I have to let it all out.

All this pain you caused, I don’t know why.

Everything you said turned out to be a lie.

I guess my love is not meant to be,

Every time I go after it, it turns against me.

So here I am surrendering.

Hoping one day life would bring something worth remembering.

I want to mean more to this world;

But people just see’s me as a little girl.

My heart is split apart;

It is being pulled two ways.

Stumbling day by day

Until my heart heals, I’ll forgive you.

Until my heart forgets, I’ll forget you.

Until my heart can love, I will love you.

Until my heart remembers, I’ll remember you.

Until my heart lets go, I’ll let go of you.

Until my heart can be set free, I’ll fly to you.

At this point I am just confused;

Which way should I choose?

I hope this will all come clear,

And all this pain will just disappear.

But until my heart forgets, I’ll forget you.

Until my heart will let me love, I will love you.

Until my heart remembers, I’ll remember you.

Until my heart lets go, I’ll let go of you.

My heart is broken, deceasing away

I penetrate alone, a waiting for the day.

But until my heart finds the answers;

Until my heart says good-bye

Until my heart lets me go,

Then you can have my heart

Until the end of time.

(Verse 1)



Sweat drips from my eyes,

Screams of lust I cry.

Tonight you are everything to me.

Your everything,

You’re everything to me no more;

As I wake from this perfect dream

I’ll escape from Eden’s wall.

I can no longer live this lie.

For I must think of only myself,

Now my hatred makes me feel so cold;

Like all the secrets I deny I uphold,

And yet every time I stumble I’m alone,

And the darkness from all my burden fills my soul.



(Chorus)



I’ll lose myself in anguish tonight.

Help me get over you,

Don’t put up a fight,

And to think you wouldn’t be scared or surprised;

If I severed all these ties

This is the end,

Cause everything that once mattered,

Faded away;

Now all that remains

Is half of me, my false apology.



(Verse 2)



I feel so numb to see this bitterness

(It has to come to this)

The end of beautiful illusions

(One last kiss)

Now my broken wings prevails me to fly.

Confusion, I am in denial.

So much to hide

I lie alone

So afraid,

I take my last breath

As I fade away.



(Chorus)





I’ll lose myself in anguish tonight.

Help me get over you,

Don’t put up a fight,

And to think you wouldn’t be scared or surprised;

If I severed all these ties

This is the end,

Nothing else left to run through my mind.

It all faded away;

Now all that remains

Is half of me, my false apology.



(Verse 3)



We must let go urgency

As the flood of tears

Begin to overwhelm me.

Every time I try to restrain,

I’ll try not to fall for your false beauty.

My heart is at a stake,

Which leads to this promise

Just close your eyes,

And help me get over you;

Let me deny this lie.



(Verse 4)



But just for tonight,

I’ll lose my way and I’ll fall;

I’ll take this step, and then I’ll crawl.

Everything that once mattered,

It still remains;

But in my mind

I still see blood from your eyes.

It’s just a beautiful lie,

My one last good-bye.