Don't look for me
If you only want some fun

Don't look for me
If you are bored

Don't look for me
If there is nobody else is there for you

Don't look for me
If you will only look for me
To entertain
Just for your information
I am not a clown

But you can look for me
If you really intend to
If it's only me that you need

But if not
Do not look for me
And I beg you, don't.

They push
They shove
They throw
Me away

They kick
They step over me
They slap
They stab me

I feel like a trash

Feeling unwanted
Unneeded
Unwelcome
Uninvited
Useless

They trample over my feelings
Like I don't have any feelings at all
But still I tiptoeing over theirs
Because I was taught to be nice
Plus, I don't learn how to hurt people's feelings
I don't even want to learn them!

They say be nice to people
They say "there's no use of taking care of other's feelings because we'll gain nothing"
I agreed politely
But at the same time
"Courtesy costs nothing" too

How can someone be so cruel to others?
With just one word can ****
You have no idea how they'll take your words
Say what you need to
Make sure you really mean it
Think before you talk

I feel friendless
uncared-for
unloved
I am hopeless
Powerless to overcome them

Why am I still here?
I am weakening
I am drowning in my tears
Yet, no one notices
Not even bother to catch
And save me from dying
With these unasked feelings
My feelings that nobody cares for.

I am lost
Am I a loser?

I failed
Am I stupid?

I love someone
Am I loveable?

I careless
Am I cared?

I am forgetful
Am I forgotten?

I am shy
Am I snobbish?

I am weird
Am I crazy?

I have friends
Am I friendly?

I am lonely
Am I a loner?

I am sad
Am I depressed?

I am happy
Am I cheerful?

I love foods
Am I fat?

I am on diet
Am I skinny?

I have pimples
Am I ugly?

I hate to study
Am I a bad grader?

I love studying
Am I a nerd?

I am thinking
Am I a scientist?

I am wondering
How can I make your day?

They are the reasons I am here today
They love me
They care for me
Their love, nobody can beat
Their love is pure as a white cloth
They live in this world for reasons
To grow, to shape their children into a grown up successful person

Their expectations are high
Especially to their last child
Because their last child is the
Last hope
Last chance
Last one to make their dreams come true
Their children's success are their success too

But it's weird when there's a child
Is bad enough to leave their parents at the Old Folks' Home
You have no idea how desperate it is to get a mother and father's love for an orphan
And how could you leave them there?

You have no idea how it's like to lose your parents at a very young age
You have no idea how it's like to see your parents dying in front of your eyes
You have no idea how it's like to see your parents got killed
You have no idea how it's like to see your parents got buried
You have no idea when they cried because of your behaviours
You have no idea when they're missing you and you just ignore
You have no idea how many tons of tears they have cried when you are harsh to them
They never taught you to become a violent person
They never want that to happen
All they want to see is their seeds are grown beautifully and beneficial to others
Their children are all they have to continue their life journey on the Earth while they're in the Earth

One day...
When you see their chair is empty
Their voices are suddenly playing in your head
Your mother's nag would be a beautiful song
Your father's voice you will be longing for
Their love, their prayer for you
Are no longer you will get.

I am feeling hopeless
Is there any hopes for me?
I have wasted my time
On things I never thought I would waste my precious time for
I have been tricked and fooled
By the modern world
It makes me to procrastinate
To do things I have to
But it's me to be blamed
For letting it to control myself
Even though I have the power to stop it
I have to destroy what destroys me
My future is waiting
Exams, grades I know they're important
But this modern world invades and conquers me
What should I do to overcome this?
So I start to dream that I am already on top of the world
It is almost believable
But the reality is my nightmare
When I open my eyes
My beautiful dreams disappear
When I open my eyes
All I can see is a girl wasting her life again and again
A girl who has big dreams but does not put enough efforts to realize them
I want to dream again
Because only with dreaming
My dreams are coming real
I am dreaming my dreams
And it feels so good.

To my dearest friend,
The hardest part of any friendship
Is when it's time to say goodbye
Though it's only been a short while
I've never had a friend like you
Though you're living in another country
Which miles away from me
I always feel like you're so near to me
When we talk
I can feel the warmth of your presence beside me
When you're sad
I want to wipe away your tears
I never want to see your sad face
Or smileys that show your emotions
But now I have to make a way
To escape from this world for a while
To disconnect from wifi and connect with my books
Don't you worry
Because you'll forever hold a special place in my heart
Even if we are apart
If you miss me
Just remember that I'm always parallel on the other side
I know this is goodbye
But I wish you won't let this special tie to be untied
We will reunite again when it's the time
You can never be replaced
In this world, you are the only one
Don't change!
In whatever you do
I hope you'll find success
Goodbye love
I will miss you.

When I speak
Please listen
When I approach you
Don't push me away
When I stare at you
Don't look away
When I miss you
Please miss me back
When I cry
Please wipe away the tears
When I need you
Please be here
When I'm scared
Fight away the fears
When I'm alone
Fight away the loneliness
When I'm sad
Cheer me up
When I'm gone
Don't cry
Because you're torturing me of knowing that I cannot be there for you no more.