Time of dreariness, will seem
as if under a tree in front of
this nameless spectacle
and sounds of a bygone era are stunningly designed.

A conflict with only one soldier
Wearing no armour but
Stripped down and defenceless.
Carrying a sword only intended for one.
A lone soldier
A lone in conflict.

Sometimes I dream that I'll spontaneously combust,

Or that my body will one day turn to rust.
I dream about fearing death,

And wake up out of breath.
Then I remember it's just a dream,

It makes me want to scream.
Because I know the world is full of life,

But death still remains its wife.

Everything is unraveling,
To reveal a side of us that we don’t always believe.
I love you, he loves me.
Why can’t everything come that easily?
We were sure to be so very careful with our hearts.
They got an earful of word spoken,
but the exception always comes.
Actions can speak too, that is where I lost you,
in loves devotion.
I still felt no emotion behind the sentence on the screen.
Fairytale meetings only in my dreams.
Like a ball of yarn falling to the ground,
I would never hurt you now as we unravel to our core.
And find there's really nothing more,
Than air.

Ever since I was five, I thought I knew it all,
With one glance into the microscopic telescope,
I could see the whole universe.

When I grew up I learned to read and write,
And even at a young age I knew big "werds"
But never did I think at the experienced age of five
To stop and think if I was alive.

So I stopped to feel the world turn
And to see the clouds move.
Just for a moment to recognize the five-year-old surprise.

But I remember on that day, the Earth and the clouds--
The altercation overtook He,
And only then would I know there was much more
Than five-year-old me.

do something for me, okay?
tell my story at my funeral.
you’re gonna want to say no,
but how do you say no to a dead girl?
you can’t say no to me anyway, can you?

that’s my girl.
you never could.
so, will you tell them?
will you tell everyone
the reason i’m this way?

the reason my hands are useless,
sewn onto my wrists for show?
the reason you see me beside you,
femoral artery on display?
the reason my eyes stay glassy,
hyperfocused on nothing at all?

will you tell them of all
the things you were there for,
the things you saw,
the things you heard?
how you were the only witness,
every step of the way?

i think you will.
tell it all.
[we won’t mention that
when i needed you most,
at the end,
you weren’t there for me either.]

why didn’t you help me?
why didn’t you tell anyone about
all my razorblades, all my pills?

they were practically hand-fed to me,
and where were you?

right beside me, but not where you needed to be.
not helping me, only protecting me.
you protected me to death.

oh, did that hurt?
my apologies.
i guess i’m bitter.

anyway, the last thing i wanted to say?
is thank you.

thanks for finally letting me go.

every time i have to list one best friend, you're the one.
i've got others, yes. a couple or three.
but you're the one i always think of.

from back in gym class,
to sneaking out at night to the barn,
[you threw a toad at my face.]
to watching ****** horror movies,
to going to the outer banks,
to staying in grandy one weekend,
[just us and our vices for two and a half days]
to spitting on your barn floor just because,
to relying on luck to keep us from the cops.

from watching you get your tongue pierced,
to you coming with me to get all of mine.
from dealing with that boyfriend of yours,
to dealing with...the lack of mine.
from our future moving out plans,
to our rocky horror plans tonight.

that's us.
you're my number one, through and through.
you knew i didn't want to 'talk about it',
back in august,
you just brought me over and let me stand around.
let me listen to you talk.
that's the best thing anyone did,
that simple distraction was all i needed.

it certainly doesn't help that everyone thinks we're sisters,
our love lives parallel in the oddest ways,
and we just have too much fun together.
i can't put into words what you've done for me.
i mean it, when i tell you, "love youuuuu!"
i mean it, when i say, "best friend."

i do, shelby lynn. i do.