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 Feb 2014 NA
Sir B
Do so,
I require of you to
to keep me sane

Walk,
amongst the shadows
and feel the cold and haggard
air

Walk,
amongst the real humans
and feel warmth and joy
emanating
from their wonderful and perfect selves

Walk with me
please,
we can go on a journey
and...
maybe it'll help me
recover from the crazyness
and help you too...

Please, Walk with me
I require this of you.
Something I thought about in my English Class today, certainly wasn't paying the usual amount of attention, not feeling right either. Headache is getting more frequent... that's strange.
 Feb 2014 NA
marina
trigger
 Feb 2014 NA
marina
the thing about addiction
is that a person
can be rid of it for
years, then relapse at any
moment of exposure
to their poison

(and this is what loving
you feels like)
 Feb 2014 NA
marina
body parts
 Feb 2014 NA
marina
he tells me he is reaching
his breaking point
(and) he sighs,
(and) he looks away,
(and) i want to reach out to him
to touch his hand, shoulder,
knee

but i am afraid he will
shatter
 Feb 2014 NA
vanessa
3 devils
 Feb 2014 NA
vanessa
9/18/09

The Boy With the Birthmark on His Right Lower Calf

1/7/10 8:36 pm
The first boy that left me was my first love, he was the first boy who ever called me beautiful and he made me feel that way for about 3 and a half months until the distance became to much to bare, but we kept in touch for about 5 years so I guess you can say it never really ended because the pull of our hearts still happen to burn for each other every now and again, he is one for the books because he's never walked away from me he's stood by me through countless arguments, but I think we will always be connected. He taught me what it's like to fall in love unfortunately he didn't teach me how to stop falling face first onto cold hard gravel because now that he has someone new, I'm completely off the rails. I hope he comes back and saves me soon. He is the only boy I can't ever seem to get enough of, he is like a drug, the minute he touches me my veins fill with a substance of desire and my heart speeds up to about ten beats a minute and all this proceeds to happen within mire seconds of reconnecting I can't even begin to describe how it's been these past 5 years still being able to get that same rush around that boy--and only that boy. He is a drug I would gladly overdose on.

6/20/13

The Boy With the Cold Heart & the Four Glass Eyes

9/3/13 10:45 pm
The second boy that left me was no where near as beautiful as the first but he was one for deep talks and insecure walks. He told me what he hated about himself and how self-conscious he really was, that before he became "Mr. Player" he was a loser who always felt alone. His body was not beautiful he was destruction at its finest, his skin stretched and felt like scratching cold silver, in all respects he was quite a disgusting filth though at the time I found him to be made out of gold but I was dead wrong for he was the worse kind of killer-- a true sociopath if you ask me but I mean what do I know I'm a ****** right? Although the only thing he wanted was to toy with me and trick me into trusting the devil, granted I should have never gotten involved with him in the first place, because he truly tore me to shreds and he was still a baby so maybe that's why things ended badly between us, because even though I was naive then, he's still quite immature, I wish I could say he's changed but he hasn't.

12/6/13

The Boy Who Made Me Feel Alive Again

12/27/13 1:08 pm
The third boy that left me, well unlike the second boy he didn't do damage he actually did magic by gently outlining the curvature of my spine and liking the thoughts inside my head before we ever even came face to face, he knew me through words and kissed me like he held a secret between his lips. He didn't like books but he liked my thoughts on paper and he listened quite intently, so I guess that was enough. I noted little details when we walked home in the dark, like the fact that he lit up whenever I spoke and he always looked me dead in the eye, however neither of us had been murdered. Or the way he sounded when he told me about his life, or even the fact that he'd risk injury from oncoming traffic because of his fearless physique, maybe he was just trying to impress me but these are a few things that were beautiful  about this boy. But yet again, happiness in the form of Father Time only stands at my doorstep for a month or so because on the 27th on the coldest month of the year he walked out without even a proper goodbye.

*(vm)
 Jan 2014 NA
unnamed
BB
 Jan 2014 NA
unnamed
BB
No matter how wide I stretch my fingers,
I can't catch all the pain I want to heal.
There's so many people I want to protect,
But I only have one heart and two hands
And I've never been good at juggling.

So, maybe, you can help me hold this net.
We can catch as much hurt as we can.
You're not good at juggling either,
And your eyes are just as wide as mine.
Why not be a two person act?

We'll protect these two beautiful girls,
And we can protect each other too.
We seem strong to them but we know better.
Catching and protecting them from the world,
We're bound to end up with a few bruises.
Before I met you, I only knew you as the alliteration "Beautiful Bassoonist."
 Jan 2014 NA
Carey
Everyday
 Jan 2014 NA
Carey
Everyday is hard for me
the thoughts the feelings
the desire and longing to it the end
and when will it end
How will this end
How can I go on like this

the lack of sleep is getting worse
the thinking and dreaming of dying and death
that live in my head
the hurting and pain never lefts me
Carey
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