You are the last dream I had before I woke up, the one that lingers all day
You are the electrician I've been waiting on that never shows up, the one that doesn't do his job anyway

Will I always have to settle for less than you?

I have so much on my mind tonight. So many words that I know would not come out right.

I'm a monster with no feelings,
but somehow I still love you.
I can't swim, but I'd build a boat.
Sail to you.
I want to.
I miss you.
I miss you.
Do you hear me?
Will you ever?
I'm screaming louder this time.
Can you hear me any better?
This empty whole,
It aches for you.
This darkness,
It shakes for you.
Tell me, what more can I do for you?
What have I to do to show you what I see?
Every moment awake is a tragedy entirely.
Without you.
This soul,
It takes for you.
This heart,
It breaks for you.
Can you look at this monster and feel compassionate?
At least ******* look at me, *******.
I'm sick of it.
That stare at the ground won't send you to hell any faster.
I ******* love you, what's so ******* hard about that you ******* *******?
These holes, they are here because of your absence and presence.
See you were here before, but notice I said that in past tense.
Now your gone and these holes,
They only ******* get larger.
Tried so hard to fill em with god knows.
But I'm running out of supplements for armor.
**** it.
You hate me,
I hate me.
God knows.
He made me.
He made you.
But I guess God doesn't build passion in twos.

at the pit of my stomach
deep down
those words
filled with some sort
of betrayal
speculation
stabbed right
there
and I felt
really
really
really bad
and guilty
for everything
I probably shouldn't have done.
Yet the past cannot be erased
Neither can I burn all the memories away
Desperate
to crush them into *****
and throw them right into the fire
burn
burn
burn
let it burn
but my memories are no paper *****.
and they come back
every
now and then
from the back
to the front
a subtle reminder
**you probably shouldn't have done that.

I knocked down the walls that hold me steady,
opened the gate and let you in.
Now I'm not so sure either of us are ready,
Or if we've made it possible for one side to win.
Is this a game of warfare?
With only heartbreak intended.
I'm running scared
The sides aren't fair
Now that you know my heart was never mended.
Is this a game of knowledge?
With only one side strong enough to hold up.
You know
I've never been to college,
But when it comes to smarts
I've got one up.
But baby, I'm not in it to defeat you.
If you would open up
You could start to see.
Everything I wrote has always been true.
And if anyone seeks defeat, it's you against me.
Don't twist my words, I'm in this to win.
Though my method of destruction is not to destroy you.
In your heart is where I long to be
But my god, there's no way through
I knocked down my walls,
why can't you?