long since have we left behind
peaceful naivete and tight pigtails
gradually adjusting to a harsher world
progressively preparing us for
what they call real
and what we call hell
where did our quiet trusting go?
was it left behind with the
colors of our happiness?
did it leave when our hearts got broken
or when we began to love for the first time?
i miss our understanding of life
constant curiosity and wonder
when we looked at the world and it gave us knowledge
now we look at the world and it gives us debt
with the turning of every year
new children are indoctrinated
screens used as babysitters instead of books
learning how to spell youtube on an ipad
before learning how to say "mama"
dont mistake this poem for a condemnation on electronics
rather, a condemnation on parents
unused to any method other than the age of technology
they slowly grow more attached to their computers rather than their parents
for the computers took better care of them
than the people who gave them life

manipulated by the blue screens
illuminating slack faces in the dark
white earbuds quieting the terrifying world
dimming the sounds of reality creeping closer
numbing the terrifying prospect of
what happens after the normalcy of school ends
ignoring the manipulation
tied to their screens with red strings
hand-fed pretentious words with no substance
swallowing them whole and vomiting them back up to other screens
accepting facts at face value, no questions asked
the 21st century.

on our first date you gave me
charming smiles mixed with the scent of cologne and red wine
the embodiment of elegance in front of my eyes
wearing a classy tuxedo and holding a crystal glass
on our first date you gave me
kisses on the hand with a twinkle in your eye
jokes and easy banter exchanged over an overly expensive meal
a flower grew in my soul--
a rose, because it fit you
small and dainty, but thriving
roots planted into the soil of my heart

on our second date you gave me
authenticity and showed me how
sloppiness can be beautiful
your goofy smiles were wrapped in easy sunlight
shining even though we ate hamburgers
in the back of the abandoned lot
on our second date you gave me
sweatpants and comfort
unexpectedly and reassuringly and obviously you
unapologetic in your gray hoodie and your crooked glasses
a second flower grew in my soul--
slightly sturdier and more vibrant
color brightening up the garden of my heart

on our third date you gave me
fairy lights and intertwined hands
tentative kisses and pastel-colored blankets
disney movies with several boxes of tissues (just in case)
relaxed bodies sprawling across large beds
on our third date you gave me
confidence and safeness
protected by your shield of popcorn and your sword of cotton candy
yet still crying hard over Up and Bambi

quietly, my garden began to grow
flourishing gently under your care
roses and their velvet-soft petals
their elegance and fierceness
they bloomed while i did not even notice
their thorns were unnoticed, overlooked
for they could do no harm while you were here
my garden was filled with light

my heart overflowed with emotion
and as i looked into your warm eyes
i knew this was where i wanted to be for the rest of my life.

happy valentines day, babe.

on our first date you gave me
charming smiles mixed with the scent of cologne and red wine
the embodiment of elegance in front of my eyes
wearing a classy tuxedo and holding a crystal glass
on our first date you gave me
kisses on the hand with a twinkle in your eye
jokes and easy banter exchanged over an overly expensive meal
a flower grew in my soul--
a rose, because it fit you
small and dainty, but thriving
roots planted into the soil of my heart

on our second date you gave me
authenticity and showed me how
sloppiness can be beautiful
your goofy smiles were wrapped in easy sunlight
shining even though we ate hamburgers
in the back of the abandoned lot
on our second date you gave me
sweatpants and comfort
unexpectedly and reassuringly and obviously you
unapologetic in your gray hoodie and your crooked glasses
a second flower grew in my soul--
slightly sturdier and more vibrant
color brightening up the garden of my heart

on our third date you gave me
fairy lights and intertwined hands
tentative kisses and pastel-colored blankets
disney movies with several boxes of tissues (just in case)
relaxed bodies sprawling across large beds
on our third date you gave me
confidence and safeness
protected by your shield of popcorn and your sword of cotton candy
yet still crying hard over Up and Bambi

quietly, my garden began to grow
flourishing gently under your care
roses and their velvet-soft petals
their elegance and fierceness
they bloomed while i did not even notice
their thorns were unnoticed, overlooked
for they could do no harm while you were here
my garden was filled with light

then you took those roses by the stalks and pulled,
ripping the roots out and creating a gaping hole in my chest
stuffed the shriveled petals down my throat so i was choking on
the dead remnants of what we had been

happy valentines day, *****.

constant contradictions
punctuate the poetry swirling from underneath my fingertips
these poems-- are they about me?
for i feel the suffering and the love of
the people whose stories form from my words
i cannot distinguish between
my past and their present
intertwining our lives with a bow on top
a poem as an incentive to stay
they reside, held in a still frame
a four-second video is all i need
to weave words into a web of imagery
to incite pity or to incite longing
sympathy or concern
i am in none of my poems
yet i am also in all of them.

you took my ***** and cluttered house of nightmares
and you cleaned and you renovated
until it became a house for us two
clean and fresh as long as you are here
you purified my soul
drove away the ache of addiction
and replaced it with a constant longing for your kisses
i have grown and flourished around you
as if you were my oxygen and i had been kept in a glass jar for so long
i can finally take a breath
thanks for staying babe
happy valentines day.