you regularly blessed my body with affection
with my hands when they were numb
you would stage kiss me and pour yourself into me
then you'd really kiss me.
your lips like pillows were soft and plush
your teeth bad, but your abilities outweighed.
your hands laid on my face and they were
you kept me warm when I was outstretched.
and its my fault
i put that awkward space between us
i evoked our separation
because I was feeling hopeless
as usual and I wanted to be alone I thought
but thoughts of us
wouldn't, wont stop swimming in my head
and I got, I am scared
so I tried to fill your gap
with another body
who although, is great
is not you
and only makes the gap where you stayed in me
I try to cover my sorriness in humor
But when my eyes start to drift and my mind starts to glaze
Time ceases and thoughts cease and people cease and all that is left is the keys under my nails
The peeling of my skin
The scratching of my legs
The motionless shallow breathing that remains a steady and broken hum
When the quiet takes over
its explicit in my mind
tempted by, desire,
found I became
known to perverse,
no where to hide.
***** of the ability to say no
to be left alone.
don't let it find me
or death will forever be my friend.
— The End —