I met you as a stranger,
In a way you still don't know me
But our love is still strong,
Or at least it's convincing
I'm in love with you
I adore you
I want to have your babies
I'm just having to settle on the doubts and the maybe's
What is life worth living if the future is planned out?
I've burned my bridges, even betrayed friends ..so we could work out
But you'll never know the sacrifices I make
Just to keep you happy,
Just for your sake
A woman's heart is full of secrets,
Too secret to relieve
After holding them in for so long,
Can you blame a woman for wanting to suddenly drop everything and leave?

They met but through a screen
In a futuristic world
Where relationships were built long before
Actually. Meeting. Someone.
Two artists. One soul.

But she longed for capturing all five senses of him and his masterpiece mind
Her heart races every time she wonders how his concentrated eyes look,
Carefully painting the brush strokes on his canvas.

She thought of the senses and counted them out with her fingers;
"Sight, sound- I've seen and heard you on the phone.
What was left? Ah, yes- touch, and smell, and taste."

She wondered what he would feel like in her embrace.
She wondered what he would smell like- of natural sandalwood? Cologne?

Then she remembered the last sense, taste.
"To taste you on my lips," she thought, "would be art."

They say we have but only three loves who come into our story
I have had more loves than three
And this is what they taught me

My first love taught me how to leave
Even when it didn't feel right
When feelings made you strangers by day
But knew each others hearts and bodies at night
My second love taught me compassion while his heart hosted none, a genius in all he did but all humanity gone
My third love taught me about deception
And that sometimes upgrades aren't true
When you thought you hit the lottery but they can't seem to respect you
My forth love taught me what I want
In a world so blinded by molded things
I canceled my own wedding and I gave him back the ring
My fifth love taught me sobriety even when I didn't drink
That sometimes we get drunk on lust
And we need to evaluate the things we think
My sixth love taught me how to parent a little girl that wasn't mine
It broke my heart when he walked away, though our friendship is still alive

And now it is my seventh love,
A lucky number to some
He's shared with me his beautiful mind and
Only sweet words roll off his tongue
My seventh love taught me that strength exists in meekness
His soul is gentle, nurturing, and kind
Not to be mistaken for weakness
His love is strong and tenacious as a lion's heart
My seventh love just might be the One
May God forbid us from breaking apart

So this is the life I'm coming to know,
Witnessing new beauty,
Only to be haunted by my ghosts
Old memories of friends
Remind me of the strangers from today
And here I am, alone, sitting near a lake
My friends and former lovers have moved on, and I will too
But I'm still haunted by these ghosts
From this glorious view

I gave you my heart
After I wore it on my sleeve
You wear it like a watch now,
like a temporary accessory
If you were crazy about me,
as I am; you,
You'd keep my heart in your shirt pocket,
beating close to your heart,
The same thing that I do

On a gloomy, rainy, day
I was supposed to enjoy the hunt
"Bring us venison for the winter time",
They told me,
Then followed by "You cannot"
"You won't shoot anything out here. And you cannot dress the deer in the woods,"
he hissed,
"for the woods will reek with guts"
"Isn't that what nature is for?" I argued,
"To grow over what is dead and lost?"
I yelled at my stepfather,
"You may treat our house like it is a museum, and not being lived in.
But outside there is a different world where death and life begin again"
So I cried and locked myself in my room,
Another day will go to waste
I hung up my bow and arrows,
And whispered to myself,
"Someday."

Little by little,
The trees begin to bud
They wake from their temporary sleep
The flowers are blooming their pretty pink petals
And my love,
is a love to keep

The lakes and ponds will fill with lily pads,
Croaking toads
And families of geese
The magnolia trees are perfumed by their sweet aroma,
And my love is a love to keep

Pluck, one by one- the petals off a daisy
Childish games;
does he love me or not?  
Blowing dandelions and making a wish in the breeze
My love is a love to keep

She was dust
Star dust
As little as she thought she was
She was celestial gold
Her light dispersed through the Galaxy
Yet she focused on the fine details
She saw herself as small particles
Disappearing into darkness
Yet he was her Galileo
He wanted to explore her,
The shape of her, the way she moved
The very molecules that made her burn
And when she thought her glow was dead
Her light was just being seen through space for the first time in light years
And he loved her

I'm a terrible person
For letting you follow me
I'm a terrible person
And you still have yet to see
My mind swims in cycles
Seasons always change
And when the summer comes
My heart won't be the same

I'm going to be an animal of the night
Who releases her mind; with drink
I'm going to release my most uptight battles
By relieving my needs inbetween stranger's sheets
And by fall, come more change,
I will be changed, too.

The sun kissed her skin
And yet, it did not burn her
...Kinder than lovers

Walking through a sunflower patch
Reminds me of Van Gogh
A starry eyed man who saw his world
Painted in rich yellow
And as often as I greet their petals,
Mustard and gold,
I can't help but wonder of this life
So beautiful and bold

And as I grasp these flowers in the palm of my hand
I will also grasp this life

Table-side puddles;
that fell from my eyes,
are smearing the the ink on my papers
Coffee mug, too big to hide
has become my best friend these
last few nights
And so I drift between what's real,
and this dreamy state of time
Coffee mug, ink, papers, and tears
Keep my dreams alive

The moon can be a friend
In a world so dull,
So dim
When you're feeling lonely
Seek the man on the moon and just talk to him
When your path is too dark to see, he will light your way
And he's always a good listener no matter what you need to say
Greet him like an old friend
He's known you since you were a babe
Now if only people talked to God like that
The world might be a better place

I hold the mouth of a lion,
Unafraid of his teeth..
When he whimpers back into submission,
I will be his queen
Spring has sprung and flowers bloom,
The year's little infinity has begun,
When summer memories permanently mark our hearts..
Under the warmth of the sun
And the lion's mouth I will still pry open,
As I learn about who I am,
Aye, maybe the sun is a lion,
His Rays, his golden mane,
And I am just his lamb.

My skin is white, like porcelain,
soft and fragile to the touch
A blank canvas, so clean and innocent
one would think such beauty is enough
But when I listen to the most inspiring music
I hear piano and the lyrics, the words become my skin
And so I look to my body,
thinking of where I can begin
May my body become the book of a Poet
as I listen to the words as they become inked on my skin
Such beauty is sacrificed for another beauty;
Beautiful words instead of smooth porcelain
And although you may never know it,
I embrace my new skin-bound talisman
Every cursive line
will follow me to my death
Every lyric
will never fail to steal my breath
May the music become my skin; may music become my skin

Tattoos fill the skin
Like paint to a canvas
Scars get covered
Like light consumes darkness
She understood his scars
His pain, his soul
And when his arms became bridges
She was inside a cage of tapestries
A flesh art museum without walls
Their bodies together,
Like a renaissance painting
Michaelangelo, Picasso couldn't compare
Because The love they made
Caused them to forget the scars that were even there

Singing songs
and painting
Making love
and singing
Bright colors,
soft sounds,
Fishing for happiness
with a frowning lure;
'Seems like
my only faith,
is in temporary cures.

Why is tenacity so rare to find?
like a blood diamond in volcanic ash,
Fire needs to fuel that raging need to
Just. Hold. On.

What happened to tenacity
And the love that embodied it?
Love for one's friendship, relationship, or purpose?
The tenacity of loving endlessly and effortlessly with no strings attached?
The tenacity of holding on to weakness because weakness in and out of love
Is. Strength?

Perhaps my most favorite people are the most tenacious
I proudly show off my friends and family with tenacious hearts like the most luminescent jewels
The acquaintances that throw decades of friendships away in the name of love, power.... Image.
Their love is only embers, floating on winds that go elsewhere.
I do not intend on keeping them

Find your tenacity like a roaring lion
Find the jewels of tenacity in the ash of your hearts and
Wear them.

they never dull

Prometheus
Do you regret sharing your love?
Do you regret anything at all?
Do you feel you have done enough?
I see you in chains
As a victim, you are what the eagles have claimed
Prometheus,
Has anyone ever thanked you?
We're too busy blaming ourselves for our sins
We've forgotten all about you
How ungrateful, we've become
We belittle the great things we have done
Our accomplishments have suddenly turned into sins
And the light you gave us is slowly turning dim
But I will grow this fire into a beacon
And call the Eagles home
I thank you, Prometheus
For making our voices known

it's 6:30 in the morning,
I know you are asleep
I'm headed off to work,
another day's pay, to keep
I dreamed of you last night, and the night before
as I lay next to him...now, he's a stranger at my door
Memories of vanilla steam come in and out of my head
When the day is done, I come back home,
to a stranger in my bed.
Vanilla steam, strawberries and cream,
that once lingered in a kiss
orange popsicle-memory on my tongue,
what simple joys, I miss.

I found you,
I loved you,
now I am numb
I made love to you,
I shared my world with you,
but now, what we have is so cumbersome
I found you,
I loved you,
but with each kiss I lost a part of me
I kissed you,
I embraced you,
but now I'm a deteriorated personality
The easy way out is to stay with you,
to lose you would be exile from half of my family
Stay with you, live a life not of my own...too simple?
I refuse to stay with you, in this cumbersome middle

Looking at pictures,
stuck in time..
A virtual world,
when the world was mine
Responsibilities change,
people do too
Roles bend and break,
and priorities bloom
Why do I put myself in a timeline,
of structure and concrete?
Since when was my happiness the last errand to complete?
Still, I go..
to juggle what fragile time I have
between the people that matter most to me
Balance work, love, friends, my own time and family
I just want to know that what ever decisions I choose..
that the sacrifices I give to be happy...
aren't the people I'd feel great agony to lose.

Here I stand,
A jester of different kingdoms
I'll be best to cut off my own ears,
and seek my own wisdom
He tells me the past is the past,
there's no looking back
But what I feel is much different,
Maybe I'd be best to pack
Yet, leaving for the unknown,
would promise me certain exile
Exile from my family,
but would it be worth the while?
To seek the new king of my life,
but of the kingdom I once called home
Here I stand, should I walk on?
Can I juggle the unknown?
I see my king cry as I leave these castle steps..
oh, how he changed the laws for me!
Can I cut of my own ears? My hands? My tongue?
My heart is juggled by a guillotine

If I were lost,
I'd write a farewell note
A letter to each person before boarding onto my journey
If I were lost, I'd gather my belongings and assign them to loved ones
If I were lost, I'd purchase rope
I'd learn to tie a noose
If I were lost, I'd purchase the finest blades
And buy a painting of a sunset of some destination I'll never go to in this life
And place that painting near my bathtub where my last breaths will be
So that I can leave this world and be lost in another....
But I'm not lost.
I'm just a navigator in something new.
And this, too, shall pass.

My heart is a withered rose
Tainted, yet beautiful at its most
In these deep poisoned veins of its colorful petals
it seems to lack its most thickest metals
Once in a while, another petal falls to the ground
and inside me, another part of me dies without a sound
no tears, no thorns, no leaves, just dark red veins
petal after petal,
petal after petal
until I've shed everything down to a cold, numb hateful fist.

When they speak of her,
They speak like a disease has entered the room
she's Midas without gold
But sheds inevitable gloom

she sets traps where she finds joy
In watching her prey suffer the sharp and painful snare
She's got love for her children
But holds hate within her stare
She's angry and jealous
And is only happy if you feel that way too

And yet I still wonder why you loved her the way I love you

Theirs fangs tower over their tongues
Their eyes could pierce your skin
A devilish smile disguised as a grin
They roam the island, after eight generations of living peacefully
They were dropped off by ships
To run and howl freely
Their numbers had dropped so low,
Man decided they needed a new place to go
But they didn't realize that the day they released the wolves from their crates
The sea captain, a widower's, three year old daughter escaped
The ship left without her,
The captain lived in dis pair
But the young princess knew she was in good care
But one day a prince would come,
He lived a sheltered life, and Crane Island was his new home
He fell in love with the girl raised by wolves
He learned their language
And forever, became one.

He knows it when I'm tired,
he never bothers to ask
I always lay my head in the crease of his chest,
and I fall asleep fast
His fingers swipe my hair away from my face,
while my eyes remain closed..I drift away to a dreaming state
I hear his voice, playful whispering in my ear...
I speak up, sleepy, "What did you say, dear?",
No.
Wake up!
The TV is still on, the clock ticks midnight....
but his arms...where did they go?
Look at the picture frame on the wall,
see his face with the words "In Loving Memory...",

...."I have to let you go."

Peoples' hearts get stolen all the time
kidnapped lovers, a legal crime..
the answer of a triangle,
a geometrical shape..now turned into just a line
I wonder if the erase marks from the missing points will heal
A favorite musician of mine once said
"Time doesn't heal, no.. not at all",
Time, its truth won't conceal.

Words are brushstrokes,
And our thoughts become paintings,
Yet people walk this earth,
Arrogantly complaining

I see us on a stage, singing songs from the heart
But this vision is not from memory,
Only a wish from where those songs could be sung from
Like birds, we rest on such skinny legs
It's amazing how breakable we could be if we put pressure on them
But if we fly, if we soar, and lift from the ground..
Those so-fragile legs will never break or be bound
Some people want to live like birds,
They want to soar, fly, and glide...
But if you're too busy flying and looking down...
You can't enjoy the sun's setting or rise.

I tore our pictures down
Like how a coyote
bites off its own leg
Trapped in dissolution
I wasn't going to pretend it was all
Okay

Trapped in the crumbling skeleton
The carcass of us, a victim of time
Why did you let it go so far then?
When it was already eating the flesh of mine?

Instincts told me of your disapproval
Instincts told me you were ashamed
But tell me, former lover,
Why did you smile,
Every time I called your name?

Can you tame a lion
After he's tasted blood?
Can you offer love to a man,
Who's tired of feeling feelings and has had enough?
Some days I wonder when you'll raise your voice to admit
That you love me, my dear,
And reinforce it with a kiss

Pluck from the front,
Pluck from the back
Give in to your addiction
That glues your head to a hat
You want to wear your hair down in curly waves?
Or fishtail braid it,
Or twist it to the side someday?
You can't even part it down the middle,
Without revealing a bald spot
That is the size of your face
You feel the stress, so you pluck it all away
Black out; keep plucking and
Forget about the time
See the hairs on the floor and mourn over what once was mine

Two crossed paths,
one is covered in snow
The snow runs two feet deep
The other path is grassy, almost like Spring,
green and covered in leaves
If I take the path, covered in snow...
it'll only melt to the dirt
The dirt will nurture its new growth
and flowers will rise from the earth
If I take the path that is already flowered,
one day winter will come; and death, the lilies will meet
Two crossed paths under the branches,
tell me if my heart is complete

I met you when I least was ready
Could you be the one?
You've knocked down all my theories that
Knowing your type finds you true love

You're far from what I would have dated
But your heart remains so true
And that's all I need to know, dear
That all I'll want is you

Your soul is kind and meek, dear
But stronger than others who compete
Your laugh is contagious, your song a dance,
Your very voice makes me complete

When we met you did not share the faith,
Political choices, or dietary views
And yet somehow despite the differences
Your heart lead me to you
Your kindness will always be my favorite quality I look up to

So I'll keep the 'type' in this old typewriter
And let my heart follow through

Typewriter academy
The blank shells of my mind
When creativity is hiding
And the cruelest of demons are kind
Searching and seeking for
Emotions that inspire thespians to write
To act out in daytime,
Only to dream at night

Typewriter academy,
An empty room inside my mind
Where imagination takes over
What oddities you'll find

Unconditional.
A word that liberates all
Let love BE that word

I miss the simplicity of reading notes
that would melt me into someone new
I miss our afternoon walks
I miss being next to you
In my mind we are cuddling,
I steal a kiss from your cheek
I run my fingers through your hair,
We nudge at each others' feet
In my mind we are kissing under purple candlelight,
In my mind,we are sighing from content and delight
In my mind there are scenarios,
much different than what there is now
I'm already next to you, you see,
but it's too late to show you how.

So sick of seeing pictures of all the places
I want to see with my own eyes
I want to see redwood sequoias, gentle giants
Utah mountains and pink African skies
But of all the memories I swear to myself that I will make
To feed the insatiable wanderlust of my soul
I want to share all the sights with you
Adventurous lover,
And I know my heart will be whole

Today
your voice
came into my mind
And I felt the stormy blues
But then I asked myself
"What is the point in even missing you?"

The reality is short and sweet
Like your favorite peanut butter snacks
That once took over my apartment's cabinet
I'd save them, assured you would come back

The reality is you won't.
Even if you knocked on my door,
Missing something faithful and true
I know what I know just as much as you've known what you knew

That you'd never admit your mistakes to your friends
Highly influenced by their opinions
Highly influenced by our differences
And yet you spin the wheel,
Manipulating their perspective
Like I'm daft just because I'm in this process of transition

God forbid you don't have some structure in your life,
But even more so God forbid you have an ever-adapting and changing wife
Because the reality is you won't find a partner who isn't transitioning
Between growing to different levels
A different person every decade
She could be a business owner one year,
then regress to a stay at home mom, having spit and crayon on her face every day
Is this your fear?
But what about the moments between,
That are still, like calm water?
You wont see growth but it's happening
But I know you- you'll never stay to see
Because stagnance is a red flag to you
you'd rather chase the white foaming edge
You'll never see the calming storm on the sea
You'll never know your destination's end
And I feel bad for you,
In your infinite search
Never content

So
If you couldn't accept me in my still moments
When my world is asleep
When my water is still
When I'm in hibernation
And preparing to bloom
When you couldn't just love me
despite my winter
What's the point of missing you?

What's wrong with a little prowess?
What's wrong with a little sass?
Most men seem to be afraid of a witty woman with the sharpness to talk back
You call us crazy when we shout
When our faces fill with heat
We only asked you a million times to clean your ***** off of the toilet seat
Or to wash your hands after sneezing into them- no, I don't want to be touched!
Stop scratching your ***** in front of me!
Man! I've had enough
What's wrong with having prowess?
What's wrong with having sass?
Ladies, we've had enough and
I think it's time to fight back.

No, you won't take our rights
While we're scrubbing sinks
Covered in your beard hairs
Pick up a book and do some research
If there's even a brain in there

What's wrong with a little prowess?
What's wrong with a little sass?
Mama always taught me not to settle
And I think it's time to fight back