our eyes met
smiling bright
"wait" you said
funnier than I thought
you noticed me,
maybe you did before
saw me earlier
perhaps not only saw me
but also realized me
maybe even consumed me,
going through a high
all along since then
the moment had passed
still carrying me,
now I was smiling at strangers
thinking about you
my head humming
signature of your smile
lips pressed against mine,
soon settling down
disappointed facing up
lighting the room
cold again, to freezing,
maybe that was it
forever
never seeing me again
never noticing me again
never realizing me again,
or maybe
you never had,
at least I have it in my head
running like a movie
the screen my cheeks
turning red, starring bright
missing headlights, turning white,
all along I miss you
yet nothing there to miss
I was only a memory
long forgotten
inside your brain
did you even register me?

the heating is clicking
not steady, without rhythm,
yellow skin against my bones
Mom is already complaining

the sun is warming a cold little body
keeping it from going numb,
I wish to have more control
but the thinking only works afterward

my brain goes white
out of all the colors,
water is my new best friend
until it consumes me
and makes me stop the thing forever

I can already taste the lust for extinction,
but the world seems to make it its own
pain out of unnecessary things,
surroundings are out of place and
my head is floating into the great dark

black haired with loving thoughts
my favorite character

I wonder if you realize
that I don't just dislike it,
but I'm totally afraid of it

I have these thoughts
that only makes sense in my head
that I wish you would understand

it's not easy
when everybody has this idea of you
that never existed in the real word

sitting next to an open window and
letting the outside dive into my
little room
you could hear the water running down
the sides of the street
it was chilly, but it didn't matter
the clouds hadn't cried for a long time
they must have been too filled up and
finally were able to let go
if you were taking a look outside the window
at a precious time
you would be able to see a lightning
even if you had bad luck, your ears
would at least be filled with drums
a few short moments later
looking up, the sky painted itself in
different shades of itself
sometimes a nasty, thick grey
but at some points, a fresh blue
it wasn't much, but definitely enough
another bright light ripped
the horizon apart
now you would only hear my heart
pumping blood and waiting for the
enormous concert
it was a small mighty one, far away
moments like these make me miss you
make me think of you
make me remind myself
that there might be a part of you
which also wished to be a part of me

I am waiting for sleep
To drag me by my feet
Never head first under the sheet

I am so far down, that all I see is white
From the feathers getting stuck in my sight
This journey is an endless fight

Alles was ich von dir möchte
Ist deine Zeit
Nur kurz und knapp
Wie die letzten Sommertage
Halt so war‘n

Können wir noch einmal lachen
Gemeinsam strahl‘n
Bis über beide Ohr‘n
Uns gross die Zähne zeigen
Damit ich dich nicht vergess‘

Dreh dich nicht weg von mir
Denn ich blick nur mehr zu dir
Deine strahl‘nd blauen Augen
Glitzern wie mein Nagellack
Bei beiden kein guter Nachgeschmack

Schenk mir doch ein wenig Aufmerksamkeit
Ich bräucht‘ nur noch eine Minute
Bis zu Ende glüht, deine Kippe
Und ich sie nehme, von deiner Lippe

Das „tschüss“ sagen fällt mit schwer
Und so, sagst du es gar nicht mehr

The only time I see my father cry
Is when I look in the mirror,
I despise him
As much
As I am him,
He wasn‘t big with apologizing
Yet I had to learn