Lying in the dark
Your soft snoring makes me smile
It will be okay

You say that you are useless.
What does that even mean?
How can a person be useless?
What would that even mean?

Not fulfilling the intended purpose.
That is what useless means.
So what is the purpose of humans?
Isn’t it just in the being?

So if a person’s purpose is being.
And that person is being each day.
Then a person cannot be useless.
No matter what that person may say.

When you can’t find the word.
And you search for the word.
And you wish you had the word.
And then somebody says the word.
And then you have the word
But you hate that it’s the word.
Cause even though it’s the right word,
It ***** that it’s the word.

Cause it’s despair.
I feel despair.
That’s the word I couldn’t find.
The word to describe what’s in my mind.
It’s despair.
The word is despair.

Despair. Good word.
****** feeling but good word.

I don’t wanna get up.
I wanna stay here in bed.
A million things to do to you
Running through my head.
Those lips, those hips, I tighten my grip.
You’re the sexiest boy there is.
No I don’t wanna get up.
Cause baby if I did.
I’d have to leave you here alone in this bed.

It's so hard to be patient.
Waiting, waiting, waiting.

Tense, alert, on edge.
Waiting, waiting, waiting.

Checking the time, seconds passing.
Waiting, waiting, waiting.

Thoughts racing, questioning.
Waiting, waiting, waiting.

Fears spiraling, escalating.
Waiting, waiting, waiting.

Please, please, please.
Waiting, waiting, waiting.

Please make it stop.
Waiting, waiting, waiting.

In January I met a ****-voiced boy online.
In March we played games and talked all the time.
On the last day of April, I told him I loved him and then researched “is it love?” until May.
Six days later we realized we were dating and we’ve been dating everyday since that day.
Now it’s November, and in 11 months time the ****-voiced boy from online is all mine.

Your fear is so big.
Your body can’t contain it.
So you destroy things.

Your rage is so strong.
Your jaw can’t clench hard enough.
So you hit yourself.

Your pain is so sharp.
Your heart can’t survive the hits.
So you aim outward.

You’re not a monster.
You’re not bad.
You’re not an evil narcissist.
You’re not going mad.

You’re my sweet, kind boy who feels everything so much.
You’re my tender-hearted little one who brings me joy, love, laughter and such.

Don’t worry little prince, I’m not going away.
I see you, I love you, and I’m here to stay.