Do the pleases lose their poignance?
Do the thank yous become less fervent
Like a back-of-the-rack Hallmark card?
Because I use them so often their meaning has
stretched and waned before us?

This is not who I was meant to be.

Best friends, when drowning
in the throes of panic and desperation
will cling and scrabble and climb
In a mortal wrestle until both succumb.

I want to give you the world.
             - Not fill your lungs with water.

I want to raise you on my shoulders.
             - And I can't even stand up.

I would pay any price for you.
             - I can't afford an apple.

I want to shout how much I love you.
             - All I do is beg.

I'm more grateful that you can ever know.
             -  Still I deserve salt poured on me.

You are saving my life.
             - One day I WILL save yours.

Curious blues with little voices
Curious hands with little voices
Blues long to ask, to capture/
Hands yearn to tell, to free.
Pressed firmly into the sound of half-dream/
When my soul murmurs in a little blue voice
In blue ink writes itself down.

the sea was malaised
heaving waves against the cliff
waters all moaning

i love you (redly)
more ardent and more tender
than feb. the 14th

there's one thousand
thousand leaves
beautiful in infancy
from outreached arms
bottlegreen glass where clearly
what we were was luminous
naive and happy
and the burn to follow
sanguine crimson alight
throughout my mind
like feathers through fireworks
a great cheer
and then naught
and still
and sleep
and white
and once again
your arms reaching still
cold now
the little lights all gone
robed in muted monochrome
the little lights all gone
please don't forget me.

there is a
circle of chalk
in my chilly box of
closed door
cacophony
coughs cigarettes cries cars
it is as big as i am
and i draw it daily
to be nightlight
phosphorous
in the darkening unity of
self and breath
self and breath
self and breath
within
without.

i) Life is a story;
we are charged with forever narrating our existence to ourselves. This makes us- in a way- omnipotent. We knew it when we were kids-
how vividly we could sprout wings (and all other manner of magical appendages), materialize majestic beasts and enchanted cities out of the air.
As we age and busy ourselves with grown-up affairs we
forget this
and leave behind the charms and colours of our imaginations. So as

you write your story
to yourself
about
yourself

take a moment between pages
and
ad lib the impossible.

See, by doing so, you defy universal laws and create a possibility that is as palpable as
ice cream on your tongue.
It may last a second or ten seconds or even a minute, but it feeds your soul.
Regrow your youthful wings. Speak in cello. Invite a Jabberwocky for tea.
(a. You wont regret it)
(b. It is a gift)
(c. Jabberwockies make for very dignified company)


ii) People are constantly evolving. Everyone (and I mean everyone) is growing. As

people evolve

So too must our opinions of people evolve.
Our assumptions. Our unconscious prejudices.
Approach all souls with dignity and grace.
Hear with an open mind (wide, wide open!), and really hear.
People change, oft for the better. In accepting and nurturing the growth within those around us, we

grow ourselves a little bit, too.

iii) Some really very smart people believe that there is no such thing as altruism.
They seek to prove that every act of kindness

every good deed

every sacrifice

is ultimately for our own benefit.
An evolutionary instinct to save our ***** in any given situation,
so that we may carry on to have many, many babies that look like us.
They search to find evidence in the belief that all generosity and kindness is built on
pretense, profit, and self-preservation.

They might be right. But if we know it in our hearts to be false we can maintain a world that is
good and pure. Science is brilliant. But sometimes it's *******. And

sometimes it's up to us to figure the difference.


iv) Devote a little time every day to appreciate natural beauty.

Whether it be a far-off vista, the ineffable aesthetic of a jagged cliff that tumbles into the ocean (Thank you, Blomidon)

or perhaps....        cherish the architecture that structures the
face
of a person
you love

Allow yourself to be warmed by the beauty, and your eyes to lose their focus.
Breathe in so that the space in your cranium expands upwards and upwards
Til your whole consciousness is a cathedral.

And in that lovely sanctuary, you can find astounding calm and repose. It reminds you of the

bigger picture.

e r s t w h i le
the sounds i sought
cupped palms to cradle
The Goldest Hour
-each fi re f ly
sy ll a ble
though lit in
your eyes,
could not measure nor hold

Words are evanescent.
Pay heed to my soul.