Why am I waiting for you ?
why am I waiting for you to see my love?
why am I waiting and suffering ?, why do I sit and allow tears holding a thousands words fall in vein ?, why cant you love me the way I love you? , why is it you and those before you found joy im my pain? , is this some game ?, am I the joker of the castle? , is my duty to entertain you and be thrown aside?, why am I waiting for you? , why cant I just let you go and tell you leave?, why are you my weakness? ,why is there no answers to all my questions just empty cold darkness

Sometimes a heart will forget not to care
Sometimes a heart is to weak not to care
And that is why a heart will always break.
A heart can be broken
A heart can be torn apart
A heart can be put through hell
But a heart will always love , that is it's purpose -to love because when we love we are alive
But when we stop loving even the worst of things to love such as money or the small beautiful moments such as sunsets and sunrises on the beach
Then a heart is no longer it becomes just another *****.
As fragile as it is a heart will never stop loving and the day you stop loving is the day you let the world **** it.
Our duty is to protect our hearts because every time we let it get hurt or break it moves closer to dying.

I  wonder why I still morn the loss of you my great love for it seams like forever ago we were together.
The sweet silent words you once spoke now haunts these empty hallways of my mind and yet-
All I see , hear and feel is you and when the wind blows at night and I scream with all my might I hear the silent whisper of our love falling apart and I'm reminded by the drops of rain falling down my face that now forever is over.

Some wish for light in the dark , others wish to get out of the dark , and others embrace the dark,
As for me I dont want light , light fades away
I want someone to grab in the darkness of my life and hold me tight and keep me warm and
love me forever because the darkness is a cold and scary place and all I want is someone to love.

pain a funny feeling that one cannot contain
it comes at the moment you decide you're okay
the moment you begin healing
then all you can do is have the pain of concealing.
loving you has taken away my sight as well as my might
i tried to be who you want , but in the end you're leaving.
but i'm not done i refuse to morn you my love.
as much as you meant to me somethings are just not meant to be.
now i must set you free like a dove in the winter breeze
we shall meet again in our next life and every life follows you belong to me.

The world is a cruel and cold place , its people are worse but I dont blame them for who they are , we become what we must in order to survive.
Years ago if you had asked me who I am , my reply would have been simple but it would have been true,  I'm not who I once was , many version of me are known to the world but the bitter truth of my identity will always be kept safe within my heart locked away from the world.
The world is not ready for me I dont know if it will ever be I dont know if it will ever handle the truth,  the truth of a covered soul. They teach us one lie leads to another and they were right soon you come to a point where you can't go back to the truth.
Years ago I was a child but today , today im a man , the people ive encountered , the love ive lost , the time I've wasted and the pain I've given just as well as felt, have all grown me up. Dream have no longer got a meaning to most for reality is the most trust worthy object people have.
The truth of my identity will never be known , will never be told , will never be shown nor will I tell and thats who I am a man of 100 personalities.